


On The Fence

by Heylittleyahtzee (HeyYahtzee)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3167237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyYahtzee/pseuds/Heylittleyahtzee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura moves into her dorm room expecting college to be the chance at freedom she's always wanted. Freedom, it turns out, always comes with a price. What's a girl supposed to do when rooming with the infuriating, totally hot Dean's daughter? And why are people going missing?  In the end, there's only one thing Laura knows for sure.</p><p>Sometimes the choices that hurt the most are never ours to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Bunneh and Kay for beta-reading! You can find me on tumblr at heylittleyahtzee.tumblr.com if you'd like :)

Laura transfers to Silas a week before fall term. It’s not ideal but her dad’s new job puts him only an hour away and she knows that as much as he says he’s fine with her away at college he kinda really isn’t. Closer is infinitely better. Besides the school is nestled in a little valley surrounded by gorgeous hills and so what it’s not University of Toronto. She’s sure it will be amazing.

Even if she’s technically three days late for class.

“Dad, come on! I’m going to be fine. I’m sure it’s much safer than it looks,” she reassures her skeptical father as they stare up at the ancient dorm. He scratches his chin and tilts his head to the side.

“Are you sure, Laura? You could always take online classes and study from home.” Laura rolls her eyes but the grin on her lips betrays her.

“You know I can’t do that. I need to get out and experience the world remember? I’m 19. I can’t just stay home forever.” Her father smiles.

“Your mother would be proud of you, y’know.” Laura sighs and hugs him tightly.

“Yeah, I know.”

The dorm lobby is pretty much empty. There’s a desk at the back with a big sign that reads “Housing Office” above the window. Laura trots up to it and looks around expectantly. No one is actually manning the desk, but there is someone with short red hair is sitting in the back with a textbook a few inches from their face desperately scribbling notes.

“Excuse me?” Laura says loudly. The person’s head jerks up and they stare at Laura in confusion for a second before snapping their fingers.

“Let me guess, you’re Laura?” Laura nods and the person jumps up to shake her hand.

“Lafontaine. You picked one epic university, freshmeat.”

“I haven’t actually heard much about it,” Laura admits. Lafontaine laughs.

“Yeah that isn’t really surprising.” Laura scrunches up her face, confused, and Lafontaine laughs.

“Come on, you’re on the fourth floor. Perry’s up there right now talking to your roommate.” Lafontaine grabs a set of keys on the wall and locks the office on their way out. Laura glances at the clock and realizes it’s nearly half an hour after she was meant to arrive.

“Perry?” Lafontaine grins widely and takes Laura’s duffel bag.

“You’re going to love her. She keeps everything around here running like a dream.” The adoration in their voice cascades out of their mouth effortlessly and Laura bites her lip. So that was definitely something.

Lafontaine doesn’t notice her sly look. They beckon her to follow and bound up the stairs, of which there are a lot.

“Dorm rules are pretty standard. No loud noises after ten, don’t leave food out for more than two hours, parties are strictly forbidden, and there will be absolutely no tolerance for experiments on unwitting students,” Lafontaine explains as they go.

“Why is that last one even necessary?” Laura asks.

“Beats me,” Lafontaine shrugs, “I was acquitted and everything.”

“You were the one doing experiments on unwitting students?” Laura exclaims.

“No I was acquitted. Besides, Perry made sure everyone signed waivers,” Lafontaine dismisses quickly. Laura squints at the back of their head and wonders if that’s strictly true. Lafontaine glances back at her and she quickly looks away.

“Soooo... I have a roommate! What are they like?” Laura asks.

“Oh y’know, she’s a person,” Lafontaine says. Laura raises an eyebrow.

“That literally tells me nothing.” Lafontaine grips Laura’s duffel a little bit tighter.

“Have I told you yet that you’re really lucky. Usually there aren’t any spots left this late. Actually it’s kinda weird no one was placed in the room considering-”

They’re cut off by the sound of loud voices exchanging not so pleasant words in the hallway. Lafontaine’s eyes nearly pop out of their head and they take the last few steps two at a time. Laura struggles to keep up, her ears straining to pick up the conversation.

“You morons can’t just put someone in my room without asking me first. I specifically requested to be in my own room for a reason. We know what those are right? Reasons?” She’s pale like pages of a book and sharp around the edges. Her arms are crossed over a Van Halen T-shirt partially obscured by glossy dark curls and the look in her eye could be the new universal symbol for murder.

“Unfortunately for all of us this is the only spot left. If you want to complain you can take it up with the Dean’s office like everyone else.” The other woman hisses. This must be Perry the infamous floor don. Laura’s eyes are immediately drawn to her mane of silken red ringlets and smooth, striking face. Better that than the ill-fitted denim shirt below them or the terrifying corduroy pants below that. Perry has her fists on her hips and looks two seconds away from tapping her foot.

“Perry.” Perry’s eyes swivel towards Lafontaine and then Laura. For a moment her lips form a perfect circle and then they curl up in a modest smile.

“Ah, there you are. This must be Laura. It’s a pleasure to meet you. This is Carmilla. Your new roommate.”

Oh.

Laura swallows her nerves and sticks her hand out. It’s never too late to make a good impression.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. Carmilla’s eyes skim over Laura on their way into an impressive roll. She had no doubt Laura wasn’t going to last more than a week away from home.

Laura awkwardly drops her hand.

“Whatever,” Carmilla growls. She glides through the open door and disappears. Lafontaine and Perry share disdained expressions.

“I apologize for Carmilla’s attitude. She’s a bit anti-social at times and it seems that the notice announcing your arrival somehow never arrived. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you… You’re adorable,” Perry says. Lafontaine nods. Laura takes a deep breath and ignores her frantically beating heart. So her wildly attractive and rude as hell roommate hates her. There are worse things right?

“It’s fine. I’ll figure something out.” Perry shoots her another short smile and tugs on Lafontaine’s arm.

“We’ll let you get settled in.” Lafontaine drops Laura’s bags inside the room and jumps back out.

“If you need anything at all,” they lower their voice, “Like an exorcism or holy water, a knife for under your pillow…”

“Lafontaine!” Perry exclaims.

“We’re right down the hall,” Lafontaine finishes. Laura nods.

“Thanks?” Lafontaine pats her on the back and lets Perry drag them away. Laura stares at the door. So still not ideal, but what could go wrong? It’s just one little college snag. Nothing to worry about.

Laura steps in holding her breath. One half of the room is covered from ceiling to floorboards in nothing but colors darker than navy blue. Carmilla is sprawled out on her bed with a tattered copy of Catcher in the Rye. Her goal is to ignore Laura until a better opportunity presents itself. Shouldn’t take too long.

Laura drops her things on the opposite bed and sits with her fingers curled around the frame. It’s actually nicer than she was expecting, other than Carmilla. It had never occurred to her that her roommate might not like her. Even the mean girls in highschool at least tolerated her. Well, everyone tolerated her, but that was beside the point. They were adults now. Things were different.

Carmilla turns the page in her book and very pointedly doesn’t notice Laura staring at her. Laura clears her throat and sits forward.

“So I was thinking…” she starts.

“Are you sure that’s good for you?” Carmilla asks. Laura frowns.

“If we’re going to be roommates we need some rules.” Carmilla shoves her book into her face and groans.

“God you’re one of those people.”

“Boundaries are a very healthy part of any relationship!” Laura argues. Carmilla sighs and sits up. Her eyes rake over Laura. The last thing she needs is someone ruining her plans. She has one chance to get out of this hell hole and if Laura messes that up….

Well, she supposes that would be unfortunate. For Laura.

“How about this. I don’t bother you and you don’t bother me. That way we both live happily ever after and I don’t have to murder anybody from housing,” she sneers. Laura stares at her, speechless. Carmilla goes back to her book, turning the pages in a way that somehow makes Laura feel suddenly and irrevocably worthless.

“Fine,” she snaps finally. If that’s how Carmilla wanted things to be, then that’s how they would be. Laura got up and began to unpack.

Hopefully Carmilla’s attitude will get her kicked out.

Or flunked.

Or both.

Unfortunately for Laura, all Carmilla’s attitude really seems to affect is whether or not her life absolutely sucks.

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Carmilla you’ve been in there for an hour!” Laura calls through the locked bathroom door, “Come on! I have class in twenty minutes!”

She swears she can hear snickering on the other side of the door and lets her forehead fall against it with a dull thump. This is not happening. Carmilla is going to make her late on her first day after she’s already missed almost a week of classes. Her teachers are going to hate her.

The doorknob rattles and Laura jumps back just in time for Carmilla to come breezing out of the bathroom fully dressed and impeccably made up. She smirks at Laura as she brushes by. The scrunched pout on Laura’s face almost makes waking up at eight in the morning worth it. She’ll have to remember the look any time one of mother’s “investors” makes a dirty comment at brunch.

“Better hurry, cutie. You’re gonna be late.”

“And whose fault is that?” Laura snaps, turning to glare at Carmilla. Carmilla picks up her bag and slings it over her shoulder.

“This kind of perfection takes time. If you wanted to get ready you should have woken up first.”

“Any other magic hidden rules I should know about?” Laura grits out. Carmilla snorts.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be any fun.” Besides, she’d wanted to see how long Laura would last. It was a little impressive that she hadn’t just gone to class without showering. Carmilla had peaked at Laura’s schedule when she was still sleeping. Laura had a morning class and then nothing until one. She could come back afterwards to shower.

And yet she'd waited.

Laura stomps into the bathroom and slams the door. She hears Carmilla chuckling and flushes angrily. Why did her roommate have to be some rude, stuck-up, insufferable... whatever she was? Laura forces herself to focus on the task at hand and strips quickly. She only has a few minutes. The shower is easy enough to operate at least, and she steps into... warm water thank goodness, with a relieved sigh.

It's then that she notices the long strands of hair stuck to the shower wall. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, she'd take nasty trolls over Carmilla any day.  

When she emerges five minutes later frantically toweling her hair with a quip about proper cleaning habits ready on her tongue, Carmilla is gone.

Laura’s first class is in the library. She gets lost twice on the way there and arrives ten minutes late with her books shoved painfully under one arm and the room number only half visible where she’d scribbled it on her palm. Who puts class rooms in a library? She stares around the lobby in confused terror. Do libraries even have classrooms?

“You okay?” Laura turns towards the voice and finds herself face to face with another red head. Did they grow on Austrian trees or something? She has a slim, friendly face and soft eyes. She strikes Laura as the type of person anybody trusts in ten seconds or less.

“Um, I have no idea where my class is and it started like ten minutes ago and I already haven’t been here for three days and,” Laura looks at her arm, “I actually can’t read this room number.”

“What class is it?” The woman asks.

“Non-traditional fiction studies.” She nods and gets up from behind the desk. Laura has to crane her neck to see her properly.

“That class meets in 114. I’ll show you,” the woman offers.

“Holy crap thank you so much. My roommate is literally the worst and wouldn’t get out of the shower this morning. She even knew I had class this morning,” Laura explains. The woman nods.

“I’ve had my fair share of those. I live in a sorority so it can get a little dicey sometimes. I’m Danny by the way.” She holds out her hand and Laura takes it.

“Laura. Seriously, I am so indebted to you right now.” Danny shrugs.

“It’s the least I could do. Trust me, roommates can be the worst part of college.”

“I’m still holding out hope that she’ll magically have a personality transplant or decide that college isn’t her thing,” Laura sighs. Danny’s eyes widen.

“Wow, that must be some serious roommate crap. What’s her name? Not to brag, but I know pretty much everyone around here. Perks of working in the library.”

“Carmilla.” The name rolls off her tongue like a curse. Danny snorts.

“Yeah, that transplant is not going to happen.” Laura gapes at her.

“You know her?” Danny nods.

“Everybody knows her. She is the biggest pain in the ass. She has such a bad reputation that they tell scary stories about her at freshman orientation.” Laura stares at the old worn-out carpet, mouth hanging open. Danny nods. She knows a bad deal when she sees one.

“You wanna know what’s ten times worse?” Laura looks at her with wide pleading eyes.

“Not really?” Danny smiles sympathetically and pats Laura’s arm.

“Carmilla is the Dean’s daughter.”

Laura is going to die.

The hair in the shower quickly becomes the very tip of the iceberg. Laura is pretty sure that caring about anything other than her physical appearance and spouting pretentious one liners would actually kill Carmilla. Laura wonders if she can somehow make that happen. At least then Carmilla wouldn’t be ruining her life.

Within a day of Laura’s arrival there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, questionable leftovers in the fridge, a smear of something suspicious on the wall, and crumbs on nearly every surface. Carmilla disappears almost every afternoon just as Laura is getting back from class and then reappears at two or three in the morning in a way that suggests she had no idea there might be people sleeping. Not to mention the snide comments she makes every chance she gets, usually aimed at Laura for something she deems childlike and stupid.

Carmilla is the worst roommate in the history of the world.

It doesn’t even take a week for them to become “those roommates.” Everyone steers clear of their room, even the people who live in their hall. Laura puts her foot down over and over again but Carmilla just doesn’t care. It’s like she isn’t even listening (even though she is because she takes the time to tear Laura down every time she makes a simple request like “hey can you maybe not be such a terrible person?”)

Three weeks in Laura dreads coming back from class. She knows Carmilla will be there. Somehow she never leaves until Laura is back, no matter what time it is. Laura stares at the door to their room for another minute or two before pushing it open. The nice clean floor she’d last seen that morning is gone, replaced by at least three layers of dirty, crumpled clothes.

“Just once I’d like to come back from class and not have to wade through dirty laundry to get to my bed,” Laura grumbles as she makes her way to her desk. Carmilla smirks behind her book.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Pissing Laura off has become her new favorite thing, a little revenge for the incessant badgering and obnoxious perkiness Carmilla has to deal with day in and day out. Neither particularly motivate her to do anything that might keep Laura around.

“Really?” Laura snaps, “Are you twelve?”

“On a scale of one to ten?” Carmilla asks.

Laura grits her teeth and throws her books out of her backpack. If she doesn’t get started on homework soon she is definitely going to fail her lit course.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I meant,” she bites back. Carmilla puts her book down and leans forward. Laura can feel the cheshire grin painted on Carmilla’s lips without turning around. It makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

“Aw is somebody still mad I caught them checking out my ass the other day?” Laura whirls around.

“You were wearing a thong in the middle of the room. Can you blame a girl for being a little surprised!” Carmilla smirks and stands up. Laura is fun but Carmilla has places to be.

“That’s the bright side of being a big kid, cutie. I can do whatever I want,” she whispers as she brushes by Laura to the bathroom. Laura clenches her teeth and opens her notebook.

“I guess if your definition of a big kid is someone who is entirely irresponsible and completely useless,” she mutters. Carmilla stalks out of the bathroom with her bag and a snarl.

“Don’t wait up,” she growls, “Last time was a little weird.” She turns on her heel and heads for the door.

“You woke me up!” Laura yells after her. The door slams. Laura sits hunched in her seat, a scowl on her face. She has to do something. Carmilla is just going to keep walking all over her if she doesn’t just girl the hell up and do something.

“Let’s see how she likes a taste of her own medicine,” she hisses. She leaps from her chair and gathers the dirty clothes off the floor as quickly as possible before dumping them onto Carmilla’s bed in a giant heap. There are so many clothes they might as well be a mountain. Laura surveys her handiwork with a sly smile.

“Laura one, evil roommate zero,” she congratulates herself. Carmilla was going to rue the day she messed with Laura Hollis!

She wakes up the next morning with a smile on her face. No doubt Carmilla returned in the middle of the night to find the little surprise on her bed. Laura can hardly contain her excitement as she rolls over to face Carmilla’s side of the room and-

The clothes are still piled high on the mattress. In fact, they’re in the exact same place. Laura sits up and looks around the room but there’s no sign of her troublesome room mate anywhere. Carmilla hadn’t come back.

“Well fine, be that way,” Laura whispers to herself.

Carmilla still isn’t back by the time she’s up and ready to leave for class. Laura glares at the pile of clothes one last time and stomps out the door. It’s just so unfair. Carmilla does whatever she wants and never stops to think about the consequences. If only there was some way to-

Laura stops short as she nears the end of the hall. Laf and Perry are consoling a girl Laura has seen around a few times before. She’s sobbing loudly, hand pressed to her mouth as Perry comforts her. Lafontaine looks like they’re going to hit someone very hard in the face.

“Hey guys, is everything okay?” Lafontaine makes a face and shuffles over.

“Apparently her sister went out last night and never came back. We can’t even call it in yet because it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. Major suckage all around,” they mutter. Laura’s heart skips a beat. Carmilla.

It’s not like Carmilla couldn’t handle herself, and besides she’d made it very clear that she didn’t want Laura or anyone else to know her whereabouts. Laura frowns at herself. Why does she even care? Carmilla is awful. It isn’t Laura’s problem if she didn’t come back from wherever it was she always disappeared to. They aren’t friends or anything.

“Carmilla wasn’t back in our room when I woke up this morning,” she blurts out. Lafontaine tilts their head to the side.

“Has that ever happened before?”

“She goes out almost every night but she’s always back by morning.”

“We’ll keep an eye out for her, too,” Lafontaine reassures her. Perry nods.

“Is there anything we can do?” Laura asks. Lafontaine shrugs.

“Not until the campus police will take us seriously. Which might be never. Perry’s going to take Miranda back to her room and stay with her until we know anything.” Laura nods.

“Okay, well, I guess I better get to class.” Lafontaine claps her on the shoulder and steps back. Laura bounds down the steps and out into the crisp fall air. Her mind keeps going back to Carmilla. What if something had happened to her? No one deserved that, no matter who they were.

That’s all it is, she thinks, concern for my fellow girl.

Somehow she can’t quite convince herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Carmilla stumbles into the dorm room at nine thirty. Her eyes are rimmed red and bloodshot. She’s so stupid to have thought she could ever get away with it. Mother is going to kill her.

She drags herself into the bathroom and leans on the sink. Every part of her aches with exhaustion and her head is buzzing like a jackhammer on the base of her skull. Her fingers twitch against the counter. The dean’s words are still ringing in her head, cutting her into little pieces and spitting her out.

Carmilla reaches under the sink and scrabbles around for a minute before she finds the edge of the tape. She peels it away and catches the pocket knife as it falls into her palm. They’d been in the Dean’s office, the three of them. Will had smirked at her from the corner the whole time. He still made her skin crawl, even after all these years.

“Congratulations on your successful retrieval, William” Mother praised from her spot behind the mahogany desk. Will preened under her gaze.

“Why thank you mother.” Carmilla fought the urge to gag and stared down at the chipped paint on her nails.

“And of course to you dear Carmilla, for picking such a fine specimen,” she continued.

“Thank you, mother,” Carmilla said. The dean regarded her adopted children in silence, Will relaxed against the wall and Carmilla stock still in the armchair across from the desk.

“Still, I expect to see progress in the coming weeks. Carmilla, are there any fresh prospects in the incoming class? You’ve had another two weeks to scout and yet I haven’t heard a peep.” Carmilla didn’t look up.

“There are a handful of potential candidates. I’m still narrowing it down to the best of the best.” The dean nodded, long, elegant nails tapping on the desk.

“Careful and attentive, just like I taught you,” she murmured faintly, “Why don’t you give us your best prospect, dear? Surely by now there’s at least some more certainty.” Carmilla swallowed, cycling through the list of freshmen who could be potential candidates.

“What about that studious bitch on the third floor? Elizabeth or something? Her organizational skills would come in handy.” Carmilla glared back at Will.

“She’s dating the library ginger as of friday. If we took her we’d have no viable means of explaining her disappearance William.”

“I wouldn’t have to make suggestions if you would just do your job,” he snapped back. The dean’s hand came down flat on the desk.

“Children!” Carmilla and Will froze. Carmilla could feel her heart beating against her ribs and it mde her ill.

“A name, Carmilla!” Carmilla clenched her hands into fists and glanced at Will.

“Brody Kirsch. He’s loyal, idiotic, and easy to manipulate. His sense of duty would make him a perfect candidate for the program.”

“Wait a minute, Kirsch is one of the zeta pledges I was scouting for my team!” Will argued.

“He’s as ill-suited to muscle work as you are to scouting, Whiskers. That boy considers himself a protector. He would never willingly kidnap college students. Telling him about any of this would be a death sentence for all of us,” Carmilla dismissed smoothly.

“He would come around, Kitty” Will hissed.

“Aw does somebody have a little crush?”

“Enough! Both of you! William I expect this boy on my doorstep within the week.” Will nodded and stalked out of the room, hands stuffed in his pockets. Carmilla could tell he wanted to punch her in the face and she smirked.

“I expect better of you, darling.” The smirk vanished. That sentence never preceded good things.

“I apologize, mother. William has been getting on my nerves lately.” The dean stood and came around the desk. Carmilla forced herself not to lean away when the dean stroked her cheek gently.

“My precious child. You mustn’t forget what you are. Your emotions do not have a place in this world and if you keep acting out like this I’ll be forced to punish you again. We wouldn’t want a repeat of last time would we?” Carmilla’s knuckles were white against the arms of the chair.

“Of course mother.” The dean smiled almost sadly.

“I suppose it is in your nature to be volatile. I should be grateful. It’s that volatility that brought you to me in the first place. After all, no one wants a sick, angry child. With all your problems it’s a wonder you weren’t abandoned sooner. We can only hope you can be fixed.” Carmilla nodded, her voice failing her.

“My dear are you crying? Whatever for?” Carmilla shook her head, blinking away the tears gathering in her eyes.

“No mother. I’m just tired after such a long night.”

“Of course. I can’t imagine why you would be crying. I’ve given you everything you could ever want, found you every treatment you could ever need. Look at you, in perfect health and not a mark on you! Every time I look at you it reminds me of what good behavior you’ve been displaying lately.”

“Thank you, mother.” The dean smiled and pressed a kiss to Carmilla’s temple.

“Go rest, my perfect little monster. You’ve earned it. You’re more like me every single day.” Carmilla stood and kissed the dean’s cheek like she was meant to before walking stiffly from the room. She’d come straight back to her room, had only cried twice on the way. It’s too easy to rip her shirt over her head and toss it in the general direction of the floor. The blade snaps open in her hand and she stares at her chest in the mirror. The long, rippled scar between her breasts is stark white against the rest of her pink, flushed skin.

She lifts her breast out of the way and presses the pocket knife against her ribs. She can feel her heart beat pounding away as the adrenaline courses through her veins. She wants to rip it out. She wants to smother that rhythm and everything it has ever done for her.

She carves three crimson, dripping lines above the cavity of her heart. Her breathing evens out. Her skin goes cold. She washes the knife, blackens the blade over a candle, and douses it in bleach. When it’s dry she tucks it back under the sink and reapplies the tape. By the time she steps into the shower she finally feels real again.

Laura daydreams through every single one of her classes. Flashes of a faceless girl running through the woods, the crying girl in the hall, Carmilla stomping out of their room. The thoughts wrapped around each other until they were one big soup of weirdness. By the time she walks back up the stairs to their room, Laura is practically vibrating with nervous energy.

She stands and stares at the door for a lot longer than she usually does. The mess she’s come to expect might not be on the other side. Carmilla might still be gone. The whole routine might be blown to pieces.

Carmilla could be out there somewhere in a terrible situation and even if Laura hates her they’re roommates and roommates are supposed to look out for each other. Laura rubs her sweaty palms together and takes a deep breath. Her heart is doing some weird dance in her chest. It’s now or never.

She throws open the door in one fell swoop. Carmilla is curled up on her bed, the clothes in a heap on the floor.She let’s out a long sigh of relief and leans on the door. Not kidnapped. Oh good. Okay.

“Are you just going to stand there all day or are you going to close the door and let the rest of us have our privacy?” Laura nearly jumps out of her pants at Carmilla’s low voice. She’d assumed Carmilla was sleeping. Carmilla’s head turns at Laura’s startled gasp. The poor little freshmeat looks a little flustered.

“Yeah I’m just… nevermind,” Laura says quickly. She closes the door and speed walks to her desk. Carmilla raises an eyebrow over the top of her book. Laura pretends she can’t feel Carmilla’s eyes staring holes into her back and pulls her books out of her bag.

“Well aren’t we twitchy today,” Carmilla mutters.

“I’m not twitchy I was just…” Laura slides into her chair and folds her arms on the desk, “Did you hear about that girl who went missing?” She’s kind of hoping Carmilla hasn’t because for once she’ll have the upper hand. Maybe Carmilla will even produce a normal human expression besides disgust and indifference.

Carmilla rolls her eyes. Of course innocent little Laura would be all torn up about a complete stranger going missing.  Carmilla can remember when she thought the same way. Oh she’d been such an idiot at six years old.

“Of course I heard. Her sister has been shouting it from every rooftop she can find.” Only a minor detraction from the girl’s desirability. A well-placed letter and a missing suitcase would deter any real searches for her. Laura bites her lip and shrinks farther into her desk.

“Oh, well, you weren’t here this morning so I thought maybe…” she trails off. How does she phrase this without it coming off like she actually cares about Carmilla? Carmilla sits up, smirk dancing across her lips.

“Holy shit, you were worried about me.” Laura frowns and runs her hands through her hair.

“Of course I was. Normal people worry about other people when they don’t come home and maybe got kidnapped or murdered or… you know what I mean!” Carmilla scoffs.

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart, maybe it will come true.” Laura spins in her chair to face Carmilla. Carmilla is surprised by the scowl on Laura’s face. She didn’t think Laura had it in her.

“Fine. If you don’t want anyone looking out for you that’s your problem.” She turns back around with a huff and snatches up her lit notebook and a pencil. Carmilla scooted forward on her bed until her legs were dangling over the side.

“Why do you even care, creampuff? I thought you hated me,” she says. Laura shrugs and taps her pencil against the desk. She shakes her head. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge right?

“It’s not about you. When I was little my mom died on the side of the road in a snowstorm. Her car had broken down on this old road we sometimes took as a shortcut and she froze to death… I always thought that if someone had passed by, even a stranger, they could have helped her. Because it’s the right thing to do. Even if they person you happen to be helping is a total pain.” She tries to end it with a little bite so that Carmilla knows that this is by no means a surrender, but it falls a little flat. Carmilla just stares at the back of Laura’s head. She’d expected some fantasy about good people in the world, not a personal tragedy.

What the hell was that empathy?

“I can take care of myself,” she snaps. Laura snorts and refocuses on her homework.

“Obviously.”

Carmilla’s advanced psychology text is less interesting after Laura’s revelation. Much to her dismay, Carmilla finds herself watching Laura work more than reading. There’s more to her than meets the eye, not to mention she’s absolutely precious. Carmilla shakes herself. She did not just think that. She doubles her efforts to focus on her reading and eventually manages. Stupid freshman.

Her focus lasts for exactly fifteen minutes. Carmilla sighs and sets her book in her lap. Laura is grumbling and sighing to herself every other second. Her shoulders are all scrunched up and her heels tapping on the floor as she tries to solve whatever problem she’s working on. Carmilla can feel herself starting to get a headache just sitting there.

“Problem?” she asks. Laura groans and puts her head in her hands. Missing the first three days of this class had been a major mistake. She never had any idea what the teacher was talking about and the assignments were twice as bad.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and moves to hover over Laura’s shoulder. Laura freezes. She and Carmilla have never been this close before, save a few times while they were arguing. She can’t help the tiny flip her stomach does. Thanks brain, Laura thinks, this is the exact moment I need to be reminded of how gorgeous my room mate is.

Carmilla’s eyes scan over the assignment and the reading material. Oh not this bullshit again. Ms. Frederick is such an asshole.

“It’s a trick question,” she says. Laura snaps back to attention.

“It’s a what?” Carmilla huffs and taps the page.

“The answer doesn’t exist. The physics of the world in the short story don’t actually work if you take into account everything that happens. That’s why this is considered one of the biggest literary mind fucks ever. You can basically write any theory and get the question right.” Laura blinks at Carmilla, mouth hanging open.

“How do you know all of that?” Carmilla shrugs.

“My minor is english. It’s sort of a hobby of mine.”

“Carmilla, you did that off the top of your head! That’s actually really cool,” Laura says. Carmilla stares at her like she’s grown two heads. No one has ever cared before, not that Carmilla has many options in that department in the first place. She takes a deep breath and steps back. No. She cannot be going soft over the freshman. She has to stick to her plan.

“It’s just a short story, not rocket science. Besides, I couldn’t get anything done with you over here moaning every five seconds” she mutters. In a flash she’s back on her bed with the book propped up in front of her face. Laura frowns. There was the Carmilla she knows and loathes.

“Thanks, I guess,” she mutters. She doesn’t think about the miniscule emptiness in the pit of her stomach or the way she’s suddenly hyper aware of Carmilla sitting behind her. Carmilla was only helping her for selfish reasons. Nothing had changed.

Carmilla peers at Laura over her book.

Shit.

Something had changed.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Carmilla drags herself back to the dorm room ten minutes after Laura is usually gone. She’s a bit thankful that she won’t need to deal with Laura’s obnoxious morning routine. Mother had her out all night preparing things for a luncheon. Then she’d had to break into that girls room and make it look like she’d come back, packed a bag, and left some sappy note about some guy she’d met at a party. Carmilla felt dirty just thinking about it.

Much to her dismay, Laura isn’t gone. She’s fast asleep in bed, headphones wedged in her ears as her phone blares her alarm from the safety of her desk. Carmilla cringes at the noise and leaps across the room to turn it off. God if there was one thing she didn’t need this morning.

She looks back at Laura and sighs. Laura would be devastated when she woke up and realized what time it was. There would inevitably be screaming and running around. Really it was in everyone’s best interests to wake the poor thing up and save her from the predicament she’d gotten herself into. Seriously, who falls asleep with headphones in? It’s a choking hazard!

And perhaps Carmilla feels a twinge of distaste at Laura suffering something so trivial and preventable as a missed alarm.

God she hates feelings.

In two strides she’s standing over Laura. She’s so small curled into her sheets, cheeks pink in sleep. The perpetual crinkle in her brow has smoothed out in the absence of worries and Carmilla smirks at the way Laura’s lips twitch in her sleep. She really never does shut up.

Laura is drifting between dreams when something sharp and painful pulls her back to consciousness. Her hands fly to her ears and she blinks in half-asleep confusion. Her eyes finally focus and she comes face to face with one of Carmilla’s feral grins a mere foot from her face. Laura yelps and scrambles back until she hits the wall. Good galifrey did Carmilla have no concept of personal space?

“Mornin, Cupcake. Guess who slept through their alarm?” Carmilla drawls. She tosses the headphones at Laura and saunters over to her bed. Laura stares at her in stunned silence and then whips her phone out from under her pillow. 8:36.

“No no no this can’t be happening!” she yelps. Lit was hard enough without missing half the lecture. Laura jumps to her feet and scrambles to the wardrobe. After several tries at constructing an outfit without actually looking, Laura manages to bundle a day’s worth of clothes into her arms. She stumbles to the bathroom and groans at her appearance in the mirror. There is no way today is going to be a good day.

Laura darts back out a mere thirty seconds later in mismatched socks and rumpled clothes, hair wildly disobeying the laws of physics in order to knot itself together. Carmilla bites her tongue to keep from laughing. Laura really was something.

Laura doubles back several times, throwing things in her backpack and swearing under her breath. She’s still a mess and she can’t find her phone and where the HELL is her lit book?

“There is literally no way today could get any worse,” Laura whines as she goes back yet again for at least fourteen pencils. Her arms are already full but she somehow manages to cram the pencils between her arm and her math spiral. Laura’s stomach grumbles on the way and she lunges for a cookie. It’s a primal and desperate act and she instantly feels embarrassed. Carmilla must think she’s incompetent. Laura ducks her head and scurries passed Carmilla, hoping to the seven rings that Carmilla can’t see the blush on her cheeks. 

Something in Carmilla’s chest tightens, something that feels oddly similar to sympathy but definitely isn’t because she does not bother with such things. Carmilla finds herself rising from the bed anyway. She knows the look on Laura’s face. She’s seen it in the mirror just a few too many times.

“Laura, wait.” Laura swings around with the intention of telling Carmilla she really doesn’t have time for whatever snarky one liner she has prepared for the situation but the words never make it out of her mouth. With speed she never thought possible, Carmilla takes the items in Laura’s arms and shoves them into the backpack hanging off her shoulder. Laura freezes. Carmilla is helping her.

“You’ve got twenty minutes, you’re fine,” Carmilla says.

“Yeah, uh, I guess you’re right,” Laura blurts out. Carmilla rolls her eyes and reaches up to comb her fingers through Laura’s hair, a small frown playing at her lips. She hadn’t really meant to do it, not really, but Laura looks so disheveled she can’t stop herself.

Laura flinches away at first. As far as she knows Carmilla has never touched another human being. Ever. It’s not something that happens.

Only that it is totally happening and wow that feels REALLY good.

Carmilla’s nails gently scrape against Laura’s scalp as she separates the tangles. Her hands are soft and small, every movement precise and controlled in a way that makes Laura hold her breath. Carmilla’s touch is so delicate that even the slightest movement could shatter them both.

Laura can’t help herself from leaning into Carmilla’s hands as they dance through her hair. They’re so close Laura can see individual eyelashes as Carmilla blinks and tilts her head to the side in concentration. Her eyes are deep and dark, like obsidian glinting in the sun. When she turns toward the light Laura can tell that they’re really a rich chocolate brown. Her fingers twitch at her sides, urging her to reach up and drag her thumbs across Carmilla’s pale cheekbones. Laura knows logically that Carmilla’s gorgeous, it’s pretty hard not to, but this feels like the first time she’s really noticed.

Carmilla startles slightly when Laura shifts under her touch and leans closer. The aura of trust radiating off her has shivers running down Carmilla’s spine. The last time someone had so willingly accepted her touch had been…

Carmilla stiffens.

She finishes with Laura’s hair quickly and reaches down to straighten her blouse just so before stepping back and crossing her arms.

“There. Couldn’t have you going out looking like you’d just been hit with a train or something,” she deadpans.

“Yeah, that would have been pretty awful,” Laura mumbles. Carmilla smirks. Well, well, well. She could get used to Laura speechless.

There’s a loud knock on the door and it crashes open. Lafontaine stops short in the doorway. Carmilla is glaring like they’ve committed one of the seven deadly sins and Laura’s eyes are so wide she might as well complete her transformation and become the universe turtle she was always meant to be. Lafontaine has the distinct feeling they’re interrupting something, only that can’t be right. Laura and Carmilla hate each other. What could possibly be interrupted between the two of them?

“Oh good, I was just coming to see if you’d rematerialized. No word on Sadie yet. Perry’s sitting next to the phone with a timer. 24 hours is up in about… five minutes,” Lafontaine says with a glance at the clock. Laura shakes herself. The missing girl. Right. She’d told Laf that Carmilla might be missing.

Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose. Of course Laura told someone.

“Yeah, sorry. I should have told you when I got back last night,” Laura apologizes.

“It’s cool. You two okay?” Lafontaine asks suspiciously.

“Yep. Totally A-okay,” Laura says. Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“You’re going to be late,” she reminds Laura. Laura jumps and swears. She’d been so caught up in Carmilla she’d completely forgotten why she was rushing in the first place.

“Right. Um, I’ll be back in a couple of hours!” she dashes past Lafontaine and down the hall to the stairs. If she walked really fast she could still make it on time.

“Whatever!” Carmilla calls after her.

Lafontaine raises an eyebrow at Carmilla. Something is definitely going on. Carmilla simply shrugs and turns back to her bed. She’s not explaining shit to the floor don’s resident love interest. Lafontaine frowns and backs out of the room quickly. Dealing with Carmilla is definitely on the bottom of their to-do list. Right after cleaning up the mess in the third floor bathroom the Alchemy club left behind.

Carmilla crawls into bed the second the door latches shut. The last ten minutes replay in her mind as she falls asleep. She can’t fall for Laura. The negative implications of such an indiscretion are numerous and immediate. No. She has to stay on track. After all, she’s only thirty credits away from her degree.

If she can make it to the end of the year, she can finally be free.

It occurs to Laura twenty minutes into her lecture that the reason she might be failing lit is her complete and utter hatred for the class. Her teacher talks 95% of the time even though most of their grades are based on the in-class discussions and Laura would swear on her mother the reading has been chosen specifically to confuse anyone who considers logic useful.

She zones out within five minutes of walking in the door, mind spiraling to whatever thoughts might be looping through her head. Today she immediately latches on to Carmilla. What the hell was up with that? Two days ago Carmilla wouldn’t even look at her without sneering or smirking or being generally condescending and now she’s helping Laura fix her hair.

Maybe Carmilla had been replaced with an imposter like in that one movie with the aliens.

Maybe Carmilla had something planned, like luring Laura closer until she could ship her off to Timbuktu or trap her in a lamp.

Laura frowns at herself. She really needs to stop watching movies late at night. Carmilla probably just came to her senses and realized Laura wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how awful she behaved, and that being nice was beneficial to everyone. Maybe they could even be friends! After all, Carmilla did seem pretty awesome when she wasn’t glaring at everything.

Laura is so caught up in her thoughts she doesn’t notice when the Professor dismisses the class. The other students begin filing out and talking amongst themselves, jolting her out of her brain cyclone. She shoves her things into her bag and hurries to the front of the class, fully intending to dash right out the door, when the sound of someone clearing their throat stops her in her tracks.

The professor raises an eyebrow at her and gestures at the tiny slips of paper pinned to the white board.

“Aren’t you going to pick your topic for your paper?” she asks coldly. Laura feels the blood drain from her face. Paper?

“Um, yeah, of course!” She darts forward and peels off one of the slips without really looking at it. It’s not until she’s walking down the library hall that she bothers reading it. Laura groans.

Danny looks up from the front desk and frowns at her.

“Laura? What’s wrong?” Laura holds the slip up for Danny and pouts.

“I got Romeo and Juliet for my lit paper. A lit paper that I have no clue how to write because I was thinking about Carmilla the entire lecture. Is it too late to drop?” she whines.

“Definitely too late,” Danny laughs, “Why were you thinking about Carmilla? No, wait, let me guess. She didn’t do the dishes again? Insulted the founding fathers? Set fire to weird creepy voodoo dolls while you slept?” Laura snorts and leans on the counter. Not many people are in the library so she doesn’t feel bad about taking up some of Danny’s time. They’d become friends of sorts over the weeks.

“She’s actually being kinda nice to me. I don’t know. It’s weird,” she says. Danny straightens up, her lips dipping down into a frown.

“What do you mean, nice?” There’s something in Danny’s voice that catches Laura’s attention, a tremor or… something.

“She, uh, helped me with some homework last night and woke me up when I missed my alarm this morning. Then she fixed my hair I mean I was a mess it was pretty tragic,” Laura explains.

“Oh. Yeah that’s really weird. Maybe you should kinda keep your distance. I mean you never know what could happen right? She could just turn on you one day with no warning. Knowing her reputation I wouldn’t risk it,” Danny rants. Laura squints at her. Does she really think that Carmilla would do that? And even if she does why would she bother pointing it all out. Drama is drama. It’s not like Laura can’t handle a little drama.

“I mean yeah that would suck... but I think we could be friends!” Laura says.

“I really wouldn’t count on it,” Danny mutters.

“What does that even mean? Did something happen?” Danny shakes her head. Her fingers are curled around the edge of the counter so hard that her knuckles are white and Laura suddenly feels very very small.

“I’d just stay away from her if I was you. Y’know as best you can while you’re living together. I’ve got to get back to work. Romeo and Juliet should be over there in the Shakespeare section.” Danny nods toward a section of the stacks directly behind them. Laura’s face falls. She can tell Danny is hiding something, she’s not five. Whatever it is must be pretty bad if Danny won’t even give her the short version. 

“Thanks. I’ll just.” Laura gestures to the stacks and waves goodbye. It’s not until she’s around the corner that she lets her shoulders drop. If Danny won’t tell her she’ll have to find someone who will. What could possibly be worse than the things she’d already heard about Carmilla? The story about the kid who’d tried to argue with her about symbolism in The Glass Menagerie was already pretty legend-worthy.

It’s not like she could ask Carmilla. Hey, Carmilla? Why does everybody hate you? Yeah, that wouldn’t end with several murders and a car chase down the interstate.

She spots Romeo and Juliet on the fourth shelf and tugs it down. At some point she’ll need to figure out what the assignment actually is but at least she has the reading.

Laura is just about to walk back to the dorm when she hears someone sniffle. The girl from before, Miranda?, stood in the back of the library, something small and crumpled clutched to her chest.

“Miranda?” The girl whips around and stares at Laura in surprise.

“Oh jeez, sorry I must be bothering you,” she sniffles. Laura shakes her head and takes a step toward her.

“No I was just wondering if you’re okay?” MIranda bites her lip.

“I found this letter this morning in her room. One of her suitcases was gone as well as a bunch of her stuff. Apparently she met some guy and he invited her to go backpacking with him and that’s why she never came back,” she explains. Laura smiles softly.

“Well that’s good right? At least we know she’s safe.” Miranda laughs and holds up the crumpled letter.

“Sadie never would have written anything like this,” she says, “There’s no way my sister disappeared with some guy! The police don’t care of course. They’re saying if we’ve had contact with her she’s not missing and they won’t do anything even though I know this letter isn’t from my sister. Apparently her missing stuff is proof enough for them.”

“That’s awful!” Laura exclaims. She hadn’t even considered that the letter might not have been from Sadie. What if the person who had taken her had left it? Why weren’t the police even trying to find out if it was really from her?

“Yeah. Nothing I can do about it though. I’m just a college student,” Miranda snorts bitterly.

“I’m sure there’s something we can do,” Laura reassures her. Miranda sighs and picks up her bag, wiping her red eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m going to go call my parents.” She throws her pack over her shoulder and walks quickly towards the door. Laura stands there, crestfallen.

There had to be something. There had to be.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Laura trudges back to the dorm with her books clutched to her chest and her eyes on the ground. Usually she stays in the library doing homework until her next class but the world is pressing in on her like her skin is made of glass and it means to shatter her into a million pieces. The same little skip in her heartbeat that marked her mother’s disappearance is back doing double time. They hadn’t found her for three days. Laura would wish that feeling on no one.

And yet some people were obviously still experiencing it.

She knows that Miranda isn’t her friend, and that she didn’t know Sadie. She knows that involving herself in Sadie’s disappearance is probably a gross violation of privacy. Miranda turned away from her when she suggested they would find a way. In fact she’d practically run from the room. If that wasn’t a sign… well…

Laura doesn’t pause at the door to their room, pushing in with hardly a thought. The lights are off and the blinds are drawn, the room dark as night despite the shining sun outside. Laura walks into the wardrobe and swears as she tries to find the lightswitch. The room blinks back into existence. Laura’s eyes go wide and she starts swearing again, this time in her head so as to not disturb her very asleep roommate.

She’d never really thought about Carmilla sleeping, mostly because she’d only seen her asleep a handful of times. Carmilla was still passed out often enough when Laura came back from class, but always with her back to the room and covered with her comforter or the black blanket at the foot of her bed. This is entirely different.

Carmilla is on her back, one hand folded under her neck and the other holding an open book to her chest. She’d changed at some point into booty shorts and a t-shirt with two yellow eyes on the front. Her legs are folded and turned towards the floor causing her shirt to ride up and reveal a thin strip of skin along her hip. She frowns in her sleep, too, and Laura thinks it might be the cutest thing she’s ever seen only she definitely doesn’t because what the hell no. No. Gorgeous was fine. Gorgeous was just an observation. Cute implied things that were definitely not happening. Carmilla was the awful room mate who might one day be friendly. Not _cute_.

Even if it is an entirely accurate descriptor in every single way.

Carmilla shivers and turns toward Laura, the book falling from her grasp onto the floor with a plastic snap. Laura freezes. Carmilla sighs in her sleep and curls further in on herself. Laura can see the goosebumps along her arm. Carmilla’s frown has transformed into a full fledged scowl. Laura tiptoes forward and drags the blanket from the edge of the bed over Carmilla’s body.

Carmilla’s face relaxes and she nestles into the blanket. Laura steps back. She did not just do that. She had not just tucked Carmilla in like she cared. She’d simply returned a favor. Carmilla helped her with her hair and now she’d help her stay warm. Totally equal. Yep.

Laura scurries to her desk and falls a little too forcefully into her chair. She pulls out her homework and opens her laptop, hands fumbling for her pencil in the bottom of her backpack. It’s not like she was going to stand there and stare at Carmilla all day. She had things to do. And think about. And do.

Like homework that was due in three hours, because that was infinitely more important than turning around and seeing if Carmilla was still asleep behind her or if the scowl had returned to her face. Laura sighs. It’s gonna be a long day.

Still, she stays true to her promise. She doesn’t turn around to check on Carmilla. If she had she might have seen Carmilla’s eyes slowly blink open and stare at her for a moment before Carmilla’s lips curved up in a gentle smile.

Maybe going soft isn’t so bad after all, Carmilla thinks as she turns over and scoots closer to the wall, It’s not like history is going to repeat itself.

She wouldn’t let it even if it tried.

For the next three days Laura does everything in her power to stay on task. It’s nearly midterms which means she has a paper due in half her classes and huge tests in the other half just a week and a half away. It really isn’t the time to be thinking about Carmilla or how to help Miranda and Sadie without actually, y’know, helping them. Studying is the priority. Really. Honestly.

Which is why she’s looking up private detectives for the fourth time in an hour.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Laura’s knees hit the desk as she jolts upright in her chair. Carmilla stands in the door, backpack slung over her shoulder. Laura takes a steadying breath and focuses back on her computer.

“I hadn’t realized anything was wrong with me,” Laura shoots back. Carmilla scoffs, a small smirk being the only indication that she’s teasing, and throws her bag onto her bed. Laura bites her lip to hide a smile. The last couple days have been oddly nice on the Carmilla front. There hasn’t been a change in Carmilla’s cleaning habits, but there’s a warmth to her now that hadn’t been around much before. Progress, right?

And of course it’s making it that much harder to put her little moment of emotional weakness behind. They aren’t friends, they aren’t! Only Laura can feel herself drifting towards Carmilla, curious to know more now that it’s been proven that she truly does have a soul. Laura’s started noticing the way Carmilla bites her lip while she reads, the way she sleeps curled up like a cat, the way she stretches whenever she gets up to get another snack or twists her hips if she’s walking and thinking at the same time. It’s aggravating and soothing at the same time and god she wishes it would stop.

“It’s three in the afternoon and you’re still wearing your pajamas,” Carmilla points out. Laura looks down at her black fleece bottoms and old tank top. It was a valid point actually. The last time she’d stayed in pajamas this late she’d had the flu.

“I must be studying so hard I forgot to change them,” she lies. Carmilla raises an eyebrow, casually stepping up beside Laura. Her hand lands next to Laura’s on the desk, fingers splayed, and Laura has to stop herself from winding her arm around Carmilla’s and lacing their fingers together.

Carmilla smirks. Making Laura blush is her new favorite hobby, in part because it’s cute as all hell and in part because frustrating Laura is the funniest thing in the world. It’d been a while since she’d last had someone she might consider friend material. She forgot how nice it could be.

“For that lit paper you have no idea how to write? I thought that was on Romeo and Juliet not… statistics on the disappearance of young girls?” Carmilla groans, “You really are insatiable aren’t you?” Laura’s blush deepens. Oh god she’s blushing she hadn’t even realized.

“You say that like curiosity is a bad thing,” Laura deflects easily. Carmilla rolls her eyes. Sometimes Laura’s priorities amaze her. She saunters back to her bed and eases onto it.

“I was going to offer my help with your paper, but if you have better things to do then be my guest,” she drawls, picking up her most recent novella.

“Oh cut it out Carmilla, we both know you wouldn’t be caught dead helping the frosh with her homework,” Laura snorts, enthusiastic air quotes accompanying her use of “the frosh”. Carmilla eyes her over the top of the book.

“I wasn’t planning on anyone finding out. Unless you talk about me with those little friends of yours?”

“What could I possibly have to say to them about you?” Laura scoffs. Other than endlessly wondering aloud to LaF and Perry why exactly Carmilla has started being so nice after three weeks of hellish behavior, of course. She might have also mentioned all the ways in which Carmilla is actually totally not the awful person people think she is, but that’s beside the point.

“Hmmmm. Sure cupcake. Whatever you say.” Carmilla’s got that glint in her eye like she’s about to make Laura very uncomfortable (she’s had a plan to do so ever since she heard Laura remark on her “Ridiculous way with philosophy” in the hallway to Ginger #1 the night before, actually). Laura scrambles for a topic change, her eyes landing back on the open browser on her computer.

“I just think this stuff is important to know. I mean, not to sound like my dad or anything, but there are a ton of unsolved disappearances and no one is doing anything about them. I can’t stop thinking about these people, out there somewhere struggling to survive at the hands of weird faceless evil or… y’know…” Laura frowns and looks over at Carmilla. Carmilla sighs and puts her book on her lap.

“There’s always going to be a little evil in the world, cutie. That’s just the way it works.” Carmilla figures that if she can use the phrase to justify her own existence in the world then Laura can certainly use it to justify “weird faceless evil”. By golly, they’re practically the same thing! (Heavy sarcasm, massive internal eye roll)

“I know that there are always going to be bad people in the world, Carmilla! That doesn’t mean that good people should just stop being good. In fact that’s the exact opposite of a solution.”

“And yet it’s so relaxing,” Carmilla says. She’s not about to encourage Laura in her weird obsession with Sadie’s kidnapping. She doesn’t need a pint-sized ace detective getting in her way. Laura scowls. Obviously Carmilla isn’t the moral high-ground of humanity or anything but she could at least act like she cares.

“Come on, a girl is missing. Somebody should be doing… something!” Laura snaps in frustration. Carmilla narrows her eyes. What is it going to take for Laura to stop worrying her pretty little head over something that is none of her business?

“It’s not like she was an orphan. Or were you actually planning on invading the privacy of a family you don’t even know to satisfy your heroic tendencies?” Laura clenches her fists in her lap.

“That’s exactly why I haven’t done anything, thank you very much. And what’s with the attitude? Does it really offend you that much that I might want to help someone I don’t know, seriously?”

Carmilla shrugs and picks up her book. She knows where the line between arguing and looking suspicious is and there’s no way in hell she’s going to cross it with Laura of all people. She’s friend material, nothing more.

Laura crosses her arms and turns back around. Fine. If that’s how Carmilla wants to be then she could just take her shitty attitude and shove it up her punk rock collection. Laura only looked up the statistics to refresh her memory anyway. Her dad had made her memorize all of them from kidnapping to sexual assault the second she’d shown any interest in the world outside of their small canadian town when she was eleven. It wasn’t like she was planning anything.

There’s a loud knock at the door and Laura sighs. She glares at Carmilla as she walks by and Carmilla rolls her eyes. Just like Laura to be overly dramatic about something completely out of her control. Hopefully whoever is at the door will need her to hurry off and read to hospitalized kids or something. God, Carmilla had been around those kinds of people enough for three lifetimes. She didn’t need her room mate being one.

A kid wearing the Zeta-Omega-Mu rush t-shirt is standing in the hallway, a stack of flyers tucked under one arm. Laura gives him a skeptical once over. The zetas were known for their not-so-subtle misogyny and over the top thursday night parties. Not exactly the kind of people Laura wanted anywhere near her room.

“Uh, can I help you?” she asks. The zeta shoves a flyer at her.

“The zetas are sad to report that one of our members is currently unaccounted for. Either of you seen anything? He’s like really cool and stuff and we totally miss him.” Laura looks down at the boy smiling on the flyer. He looks familiar, like he might be in one of her freshman lectures. Another missing student. It couldn’t be...

“When you say missing what exactly does that mean?” Laura implores.

“Fucking hell,” Carmilla mutters.

“He was walking some girl home last night and he never came back. We’re hoping someone might have seen what direction he went so we’re handing out flyers,” the zeta explains.

“That’s exactly what happened to Sadie!” Laura exclaims. Carmilla shuts her book and lays it against her forehead. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“That girl who went missing a couple weeks ago?” the bro asks, “You don’t think Kirsch got grabbed by the same people, do you?”

“Don’t worry, we are going to do everything we can to find…. Kirsch,” Laura promises. The bro grins.

“Sweet! Y’know you’re kinda hot, do you think maybe-” Laura shuts the door and spins around.

“There’s no way this is a coincidence. Two students go missing a week apart, both from parties? It has to be the same person.” Carmilla lifts the book from her face and sighs.

“He probably just slept over somewhere. Don’t people your age ever have fun?” she asks sarcastically. Laura steps into the middle of the room, eyes wide and arms flying through the air as she talks.

“Someone is kidnapping kids off this campus. They’ve already done it two weeks in a row which means there is a high probability of someone going missing next week! This isn’t a personal tragedy anymore this is a campus wide safety concern!” Carmilla stretches and sits up. Things were obviously about to get intense.

“So what? Now that two people are missing you’re suddenly qualified to investigate?” she raises an eyebrow, challenging Laura to confirm the accusation. Laura scrunches up her nose and sighs. Of course Carmilla wouldn’t understand.

“This isn’t just about Sadie anymore, it’s about all of us. Maybe we can look into both of them and see if they had anything in common. If we could prove to the police that they were connected they would actually investigate. This changes everything!” she practically shouts. Carmilla winces.

“Really? That’s your plan? How much do you actually think you’re going to find out? You have no training, no resources, and last time I checked you were still the size of a hobbit. That’s a lot of ground to cover for one tiny freshman,” Carmilla shoots back. Laura almost stomps her foot in frustration.

“Well I’m not the only one who cares. I’m sure Laf and Perry would be more than happy to help. Danny definitely will!” Carmilla scoffs and picks at her nails.

“Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when you get yourself killed. Oh wait.” Laura takes a deep breath and counts to ten. She’s not going to punch Carmilla in the face. That would be mean and she should NOT punch Carmilla in the face.

“Fine!” Laura spits out. She stomps out of the room, flyer crushed between her fingers. She was going to get to the bottom of this and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. She had to admit it was weird how much Carmilla cared though. Why did the disappearances put her in such a bad mood?

She knocks on Perry’s door for a solid thirty seconds.

“Laf I know you’re in there I can smell the formaldehyde!” There’s a thump and mild cursing from the other side of the door. It swings open to reveal a ruffled Laf, their shirt buttoned crooked and a flush to their cheeks. Perry is somewhere out of sight making inconspicuous humming noises.

“Hey Laura, why the inquisition?” Laf asks.

“Someone else went missing!” she shoves the flyer into Laf’s hands, “He disappeared from a party just like Sadie. You don’t think it’s a coincidence right? Carmilla thinks I’m insane.” Laf’s eyes go wide and they scan the flyer quickly before looking both ways down the hall.

“Come on, get in here before somebody hears you and we all get expelled.” Laura frowns in confusion but slips past them into the floor don suite anyway. Perry turns away from the small kitchenette and smiles at Laura. She’s similarly ruffled but has somewhat managed to straighten out her turtleneck.

“Laura! How nice of you to drop by. Is there something you needed?” she asks.

“Perry, it’s happening again,” Lafontaine cuts in. Perry purses her lips and twiddles her thumbs nervously.

“I don’t know what you mean dear. What’s happening?” Lafontaine holds up the poster and Perry frowns.

“Well that certainly is odd. I do hope they find the poor young man.”

“Really Perr? That’s all you have to say? This is the third year in a row this has happened and you’re still going to deny it?” Lafontaine deadpans. Laura looks between them.

“This has happened before? And no one did anything?” she hisses. Perry sighs and nods to Lafontaine.

“You better sit down sweetie,” she says to Laura, “This gets… quite involved.”

When they’re all settled around the table Perry has neatly set up in the corner Lafontaine explains that every year since they’d started at Silas U a bunch of freshman go missing at parties during fall term.

“The first year it was ten, one for each week in the quarter. Then the second year it was only eight and last year it was seven. Every time there was a note that said they’d dropped out for some weird convoluted reason and they were never heard from again. I started thinking something was up last year when one of the freshman in the Intro to Bio class I was TAing suddenly dropped out. He and I had gotten to know each other and his parents called me wondering why he hadn’t checked in with them. Turns out he never went home and he hadn’t said anything to them about dropping out.”

Laura listens in rapt attention. If the pattern continued then more people were definitely going to be taken.

“Why hasn’t anyone done anything?” Laura asks, trying to wrap her head around the fact that this has apparently been going on for as long as anyone can remember.

“No one can! If you say anything about it a letter gets sent out to everyone about spreading rumors is against the school code of conduct. It’s downright creepy.” Laura chews on her lip. They can’t just let that stop them.

“We’ll just have to be really careful,” she shrugs. Lafontaine grins.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about. I bet between the two of us we can crack this case wide open.”

“Three. I was going to ask Danny to help next,” Laura admits.

“Damn Hollis, you have the biggest pair I’ve ever seen on a freshman. How do you know she’s not involved?” Lafontaine says. Laura makes a face.

“Danny would never be involved with a kidnapping ring. She’s like totally into justice and stuff. I should probably text her and ask her if she can meet up here tomorrow. Then we can have an official first meeting!” Laura digs around her pocket for her phone and groans. “Crap, I left my phone in my room. Ugh Carmilla’s probably still there, too.” Perry tilts her head to the side.

“I thought the two of you had resolved your differences?” she asks. Laura shrugs.

“All I know is that when I started talking about Sadie and Kirsch she got all snarly and mean again. Seriously, what’s up with that?” she whines. Lafontaine and Perry look at each other.

“That’s actually not that surprising,” Perry frowns. Lafontaine nods solemnly.

“One of the girls who went missing our Freshman year? Carmilla’s girlfriend. Everyone thought she’d done it because they had this huge fight right before Elle disappeared. The cops came and everything,” they explain.

“Wait, why did the cops come? Wasn’t there a note like all the others?” Laura asks.

“That’s the weird part. There was no letter or record of Elle dropping out. Not to mention that all the other kids that went missing were loners or didn’t have that many connections at school. Elle was the most popular girl on campus,” Perry explains. Laura looks at her in surprise. She’d assumed Perry wasn’t interested in helping.

For a moment they all sit in silence. Laura is going over what Carmilla had said to her over and over again in her head. Why didn’t she want to help? she knew first hand what it felt like to lose someone and she just wanted to keep letting it happen? what the hell was her problem?

“I need to go talk to Carmilla,” Laura mumbles. Lafontaine and Perry walk her to the door.

“Just text me what time tomorrow. We’ll be there,” Lafontaine tells her. Laura nods and heads down the hall to her room. She hesitates outside the door. She has to ask Carmilla what happened with Elle. There’s no two ways about it. She takes a deep breath and walks into the room.

Carmilla is right where Laura left her, lounging on her bed with a book. She looks up briefly when Laura comes in but her eyes don’t linger long. Laura stands in the center of the room, arms at her sides.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Elle?” she asks. Carmilla looks up in surprise but quickly frowns and tosses her bangs out of her face.

“Cause it’s none of your business.” Laura feels a flare of something in her chest that makes her fists clench.

“Don’t you want to find out what happened to her? She was your girlfriend Carmilla! You could have at least told me that people have gone missing before instead of acting like I’m crazy.”

“It’s been three years, Laura. We’re never going to find her now,” Carmilla growls. It occurs to Laura that maybe she shouldn’t push Carmilla on the subject, but she’s angry that Carmilla wasn’t honest and sick and tired of the unending apathy that seems to pour off of her whenever she feels like it. So Laura pushes.

“What about those other people who are going missing? How can you act like it doesn’t matter when you know how it feels to lose someone like that? Do you care even a little bit that the person who took Elle is still out there taking people or would that get in the way of looking cool and being above everyone else?” she snaps. Carmilla throws her book down on the bed and stands up. They’re face to face, practically chest to chest, and there’s a sharpness in her eyes that Laura doesn’t think she’s seen before.

“Did you ever stop to think that all of that might be a little painful? I’m not like you Laura, I don’t want to stick my nose into everything and find answers to questions no one even asked! Elle is gone. It’s done. There’s nothing any of us can do to get her back. Those other losers? Not my business.” Carmilla knows it’s going to hit a nerve, even if its not as direct as it could be. She thinks maybe she’s taken it a step too far when Laura’s eyes narrow and her frown deepens but Carmilla can’t bring herself to care.

“Did you even look for Elle or did you just give up? I mean after your fight it was probably pretty nice she went missing. After all you’re the queen of avoiding anything that takes even a little bit of effort,” Laura hisses. She regrets it the second it’s out of her mouth. It’s a low blow and she knows it. Carmilla’s eyes go wide and she snarls. Laura takes a step back, apologies running through her head, but it’s too late.

“Don’t pretend you know what the hell my life is like, princess,” Carmilla growls. She stomps out of the room, the door slamming behind her so hard the window rattles. Laura stares at the door in stunned silence.

Oh god what has she done.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Laura sits on the edge of her bed, phone in hand. The texts from Danny stopped ten minutes ago with a promised “See you tomorrow.” Danny hadn’t even hesitated when Laura told her about the kidnappings. She’d noticed too, but no one had listened when she brought it up. With Danny firmly RSVP’d there’s nothing left for Laura to do but go to bed. Eight am waits for no one, especially not when the clock is already flashing 12:42.

Only she can’t stop thinking about Carmilla.

Carmilla who stomped out after Laura shoved her foot in her mouth and said just about the worst thing you can say to someone. Carmilla who finally seemed to trust Laura and had begun to treat her like a human being. Carmilla who would probably never speak to Laura again and was probably at the Dean’s mansion that very second requesting a room change. 

Laura vaguely wonders if the guilt will eat her alive before Carmilla comes to get her stuff.

With a sigh she turns and pulls the covers down, crawling into bed and collapsing into what will probably be named the most uncomfortable sleeping position of 2014. No matter how she twists she can’t seem to get cozy. Eventually she gives up and just lays there, eyes scanning Carmilla’s side of the room as well as she can in the dark. Somehow it’s ten times emptier than it normally is when Carmilla’s gone. The thought makes Laura’s chest ache. Gone.

Laura closes her eyes and takes a very deep breath.

“Please come back. Please, please come back,” she whispers. She has to make this right. She has to apologize. 

Carmilla walks until her cheeks are numb and her fingers are frozen solid. She refuses to move her eyes from the ground, charging blindly in the first direction she can think of. Laura’s words circle through her head a hundred times, forcing her farther and farther away from the dorm and everything in it. This is supposed to be her new life. It’s supposed to be free of all the demons that have haunted her since the moment she stepped foot into that old victorian mansion on the campus grounds. 

She finally looks up, a dark, loathing smirk curling across her lips. The Dean’s residence rises from the forest at the end of the lane. Apparently some things are inescapable.

She sneaks in the back so as not to disturb Mother or Will. It’s not like she has anywhere else to go anyway. Laura is most definitely still in their room and even thinking about her makes Carmilla’s hands curl into white-knuckled fists. Out of all the people in the world she’d expected Laura would understand, even if she hadn’t ever planned on telling her about Elle. Instead Laura goes off on her like it’s the end of the fucking world just because she doesn’t sacrifice her free time helping random strangers. Complicated of course by the fact she’s directly involved with their disappearances in the first place.

Could the universe even get more convoluted?

She hasn’t been back to her old room since she moved into the dorms despite spending almost every night downstairs in her mother’s office or in the basement working through the prolific requests the Dean received from potential clients. The requests don’t mean much. They take who they can and then Mother hosts her yearly auction and those who feel inclined attend in droves. Still, mother insists they handle the paperwork.

Carmilla slips into her room and stands awkwardly near the door. Most of the shelves in the bookshelf are empty. The bed isn’t made. The closet stands open and bare except for a few choice outfits she’d had since she was a teen and couldn’t stand anymore. Carmilla shivers, a strange emptiness crawling into her chest where the familiarity of her room has vacated. “Home” doesn’t even ring a bell.

Carmilla sits down on the edge of the bed and stares at the scavenged remains of her childhood. She wonders if this is what Laura’s room looks like back home. Probably not. It’s probably fixed up and awaiting her return for holidays and school breaks. Her dad seems like the type to go in every once in a while and make sure it’s all in the right place. 

Carmilla’s fingers curl around the bed frame and she grits her teeth. Laura this, Laura that, it’s like she’s gone crazy or something. The girl insulted her no more than an hour ago and here she is daydreaming about Laura’s home life. The anger in her chest bubbles to the surface. How dare she say Carmilla was glad Elle disappeared? She had NO idea what happened. She hadn’t been there. She hadn’t seen the look in Elle’s eyes when…

Carmilla bites her lip and shuts her eyes, willing the memory back to the titanium reinforced lock box at the back of her mind. The anger doesn’t fade, doesn’t even falter as she sees herself standing there with that gun in her hand.

“Fuck,” she whispers. No matter how much she wants to believe she’s pissed at Laura for saying she liked that Elle disappeared, she knows that isn’t the only reason. No matter how much she wants to believe Laura was in the wrong, just an idiot child with no concept of what other people go through, she knows her anger goes deeper than that. She can feel at it cutting into her bones and carving her sins.

Laura is right. 

It was Carmilla’s fault Elle was gone. She’d never been a target. She was the most popular girl on campus and a million other things to a million other people. Marking her would have been stupid and irresponsible regardless of Carmilla’s feelings for her. No, she’d just been the girl who changed everything. The first one Carmilla ever felt drawn to, in love with, whatever it was.

Carmilla never looked for Elle because she knew exactly where she was. She never tried to step between her and mother. She never said no. She never protected her. Her mother had said that it was Carmilla’s love that had gotten Elle killed. Carmilla knew better, knew enough to know you don’t kill someone for love. Her mother had killed Elle because she wanted Carmilla to herself. Carmilla would never ever regret loving Elle, but she sure as hell could regret not doing more to keep her safe. 

Laura was only wrong about one thing and in comparison to the guilt of what really happened, it was miniscule at best. 

Still hurt like a bitch though.

“Hey Kitty, fancy seeing you here,” a silvery voice said from the doorway. Carmilla glowers at Will and stands up.

“It is my room, isn’t it?” she bites back. Will raises his hands in mock defense.

“Well someone sure is in a good mood today. What’s got your thong in a twist, sis?”   
“My roommate is having one of her little meltdowns. I figured it would be best to steer clear,” Carmilla explains. She saunters to the desk in the corner and picks through the remaining books scattered atop it. Anything so she doesn’t have to look at Will more than she has to. Every time he opens his mouth she wants to punch him in the face. The consequences of such a thing would be terrible and numerous. Better not.

“Ah, yes. Your little friend down in those quaint dorms older than everyone in this house combined. Why did you leave, again? Something about running away and making a life for yourself? Oh no, wait, that plan fell through when mother found out about your little fuck buddy, didn’t it?” he mused. Carmilla resists the urge to throw an old text book at his face and picks up an old journal instead. To her surprise the pages are filled with notes from her old english class; the same one Laura is taking. It must show on her face because Will takes a step closer, his head tilted to the side curiously.

“What did you find?” he asks. Carmilla smirks. Poor kid can’t even go five seconds knowing she has information he doesn’t. Pathetic.

“Just old lit notes, Whiskers. Nothing you could possibly have a use for,” she teases. Will snorts.

“Really? You kept lit notes? I still can’t believe you’re into that stuff. It’s just so not…. you,” he smiles. Carmilla grits her teeth and snaps the book closed. She shouldn’t have said anything.

“Some of us like being educated, William. What did you get last term? All F’s like you usually do? Or did a D managed to slip in somewhere?” she taunts, turning to stare him straight in the face.

“I have better things to do. Like my job for instance. Studying that useless garbage is a waste of your time, and because your time equals my time, you’re really wasting my time. Y’know I don’t even know why Mother wants to give the business to you. Of the two of us I’ve always worked harder,” he sneers.

“Then take it. I couldn’t possibly keep you from the one thing you’ve always truly wanted!” Carmilla exclaims sarcastically.

“And let you wander off into the sunset? Not a chance. I want to see the look on her face when she realizes you’re not good enough. What do you think will happen then, Kitty? Do you think she’ll kill you too, or drop you off somewhere in the middle of no where? Then you really wouldn’t have anyone. You’d be all alone like you always feared,” Will threatens. Normally Carmilla would immediately snap back with something witty and terrible. Instead she finds Laura’s name on the tip of her tongue just begging to refute the notion that without Will and Mother she would be alone. Carmilla looks down at the book in her hands.

“It’s too bad that would never happen,” she says finally, “Mother loves me more, remember? No matter what you do you’ll never measure up to what I’ve become.” William’s face contorts into a dark scowl and he clenches his fists.

“Mother told me to bring you straight to her office when you got in. Apparently she wants another name.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I have one,” Carmilla drawls. She steps around Will and stalks out the door. Will growls and follows her out, slamming the door behind him.

The notebook is still clutched in Carmilla’s hands.

Laura stares at Carmilla’s bed. She hadn’t come back last night or reappeared in time for lunch. Maybe she really wasn’t coming back. Maybe weird people from the university were going to show up and shove her things into bags without a word. What if she’d gone out and gotten hurt or something? What if she was out there somewhere and needed help and it was all Laura’s fault?

“Earth to Laura, hey, come in space cadet!” A hand waves in front of her face and Laura jolts out of her thoughts. Laf, Perry, and Danny stare at her expectantly. Laura smiles reassuringly and moves Laf’s hand from in front of her face.

“Sorry guys, I was just… thinking,” she apologizes.

“Is everything okay?” Danny asks. Laura shrugs.

“Yeah Carmilla and I just got into a really stupid fight and she hasn’t been back since last night.”

“Well I’m sure she’ll figure out you were right, whatever you were fighting about,” Danny reassures her. Laura grimaces.

“Yeah…” Laura mumbles. Lafontaine and Perry glance at each other. Oh boy.

“So the missing students. What do we know so far L?” Lafontaine says, quickly changing the subject.

“So far all we know is that every fall term a bunch of freshman go missing at parties. Each one has left a note with some random excuse and a few days later they supposedly drop out and are never heard from again,” Laura explains. Danny’s eyes go wide and she sits forward on Laura’s bed.

“We need to come up with a plan. We only have five days until next weekend and the next batch of parties,” she says worriedly. Lafontaine immediately raises their hand.

“Perry and I could go to the rooms of the missing freshman and look around. I mean, we know someone was in their rooms. Maybe they left clues behind,” they offer. Perry grimaces behind them.

“Wouldn’t that be considered breaking and entering?” she asks nervously. Lafontaine shoots her a wicked grin.

“Not if we use your official floor don keys,” they say, wiggling their eyebrows. Perry sighs and clutches her hands in her lap.

“Right. Of course,” she mutters.

“I can go around and talk to people. Between working the library desk and being in the Summer society, pretty much everyone knows me. Maybe they’d be willing to open up more if they see someone they trust?” Danny suggests. Laura grins at her friends.

“That’s perfect! I can stay here and look into any reports that might have survived. Maybe someone off campus published a story about the weird disappearances. After all, I am a master googler if I do say so myself,” Laura says. 

“Well that pretty much covers it, right? Report back here if we find anything, yeah?” Lafontaine says. 

“Yes. The second you know something, anything at all, text me and we’ll have another meeting,” Laura confirms. 

“Awesome. Come on Perr, we have science to do!” Lafontaine urges. Perry sighs and follows them to the door.

“Just…. keep yourselves safe, would you please? It can be very dangerous out there!” Perry pleads.

“Don’t worry, Perry, we’ve got this,” Danny calls after them. Laura chuckles and turns back to her desk. Perry is the most mother hen she’s ever seen. It’s nice.

“Well, I guess I better start canvassing. There are fourteen thousand kids on this campus and I need to talk to all of them,” Danny jokes. Laura nods, her eyes flickering down to her hands.

“Yeah, definitely. I should start digging through the years and years of buzzfeed articles so I have even the slightest chance of finding anything,” Laura agrees. Danny stands and stretches. 

“If you need anything else, just hit me up okay?” 

“Yeah… hey, what you said about Carmilla the other day?” Laura prompts. Danny stops on her way to the door, a frown flitting across her face.

“That was about Elle wasn’t it?” Laura asks. Danny shrugs.

“It’s not like I think she did it but… it seems like it messed her up pretty badly. She has a reputation for doing some dangerous stuff and not respecting other people y’know? You deserve better than that,” Danny explains. Laura plays with the hem of her shirt, the last words she’d said to Carmilla echoing through her head.

“Right, well, I’ll keep that in mind I guess,” Laura says. Danny nods and opens her mouth to say something else. At the last second she decides against it, shaking her head and looking down at her shoes. She turns and walks out, closing the door softly behind her. Laura goes back to playing with the hem of her shirt. Everything was turning out not at all like she’d expected it to. 

Carmilla bangs through the door, walking straight to the wardrobe and flinging it open. Laura whips around, mouth dropping open. The sense of relief that washes over her nearly knocks her on her ass. It’s all she can do not to run over and throw her arms around Carmilla’s neck. 

“You came back,” she says. Carmilla looks over her shoulder, a bra between her teeth and a t-shirt thrown over her shoulder. She raises an eyebrow at Laura. What did she think that she’d never come back again? Where the hell would she even go.

“I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be my roommate anymore, y’know, after what I said,” Laura explains. Carmilla snorts and removes the bra from her mouth.

“Moving takes a lot of effort,” she says flatly. Laura looks down embarrassedly. Right. Of course Carmilla wasn’t going to leave. Laura was simply a minor annoyance.

“Carmilla? I’m… really, really sorry,” she forces herself to say. Carmilla stops flicking through the wardrobe and turns to look at her. Wait, what? Laura’s cheeks are bright red and her fingers scratch holes in her jeans nervously. 

“I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff about Elle. It was cruel and stupid and I don’t know anything about what happened back then and I shouldn’t act like I do or that I’m somehow better than you just because we have different ideas about responsibility or morals or…. I don’t know I’m just really sorry,” she rambles. Holy shit, Laura is apologizing. Carmilla feels something in her chest flutter. She can’t remember the last time someone apologized to her.

“Thanks,” Carmilla says slowly. Laura swallows. That definitely is not the reaction she was expecting.

“Yeah, of course! I mean, you deserve more than an apology but I’m not sure I really… there’s not much I can do. If you have any suggestions I’m more than welcome to them,” Laura goes off again. Carmilla shrugs, keeping her eyes on the open wardrobe.

“It’s not that important, cutie. Besides, you had a point. I shouldn’t have treated you like you were wrong for caring. I get it,” she says gruffly. 

“Really? I mean, uh, thanks?” Laura scrunches up her nose. This was not how things were supposed to go. She was supposed to grovel for Carmilla’s forgiveness, not… whatever this is. Carmilla bites her lip and finally meets Laura’s eyes. The warm feeling in her chest intensifies. Shit. 

“Yeah, whatever okay? Let’s just forget it ever happened,” she mutters. Laura nods quickly.

“Yeah, sure, I can do that,” she promises. Carmilla adjusts her clothes awkwardly, trying to think of a way to end the conversation. Something digs into her spine and she furrows her brow. Oh yeah. She reaches around and takes the notebook out of her shirt. She’d had to smuggle it out of the house. If Will had seen it he would have never let her live it down.

“Here,” she says, walking over and holding the book out to Laura. Laura looks at the notebook, then at Carmilla. Carmilla shakes it and makes a pointed look. Laura sighs and takes the notebook, flipping it open to somewhere in the middle. 

“Hey these are notes for my lit class,” she exclaims. 

“Technically they’re notes for my lit class. I found it when I was at the mansion last night. I figured you could use them,” Carmilla says. Laura smiles, her eyes shining brightly.

“Carmilla… you didn’t have to bring me these. These notes are amazing!” she gasps as she flips through the book. Carmilla shrugs and scuffs her feet on the floorboards.

“Well, what are friends for, right?” she mutters. Laura looks up at her in surprise. Friends? She bites her lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. 

“Yeah. Friends,” Laura says. Carmilla smiles and glances up at Laura. Laura is looking right at her, happiness radiating from her as if she were the sun. They stare at each for a moment, neither one knowing what to say but feeling like they can’t just walk away. Carmilla finally looks down, a light blush dusting her cheeks.

“I”m gonna shower,” she mumbles, ducking into the bathroom faster than Laura can snap out of her daze to respond. She watches the door close and sighs, gently stroking the notebook in her hands. Laura giggles and let’s the ear to ear smile threatening to escape race across her face.

Friends. 

Huh.


	7. Chapter 7

The next week passes in a blur of class and intense amateur detective work. Laf drags Perry along on their “slightly against the rules” science trips and Danny scours the campus for anyone who might have seen Sadie or Kirsch the night they disappeared while Laura digs through the local news for any mention of missing college students.

They find absolutely nothing.

Lafontaine and Perry can’t even lift a layer of dust from either room. Whoever took the Sadie and Kirsch had cleaned up after themselves extensively. Danny, on the other hand, can’t find a single person who saw the pair talking to anyone suspicious. As far as the student body is concerned, the only people Sadie and Kirsch came in contact with were other students that they already knew. Upside, the kidnapper was probably a student. Downside, Kirsch and Sadie had completely different friends.

Laura rubs her eyes and resumes scrolling. Out of every article on missing persons in the area only two of them have anything to do with students but both went missing in the woods nearly thirty miles away and never attended Silas. Even Elle’s disappearance yields zero results. It’s like people haven’t even noticed anything is going on. How can an entire community be blind to the fact that nearly thirty kids have gone missing?

Laura glances at the clock and groans. It’s already nearly three on friday afternoon and they have nothing! The next student is scheduled to go missing sometime in the next ten hours and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Carmilla looks up from her newest philosophy text and flips the page. Laura hasn’t moved in the last nine hours and it’s honestly starting to get a little ridiculous. She doesn’t know why the whole squad of them are even still trying. Normal people would have given up. Normal people would understand what it means to find nothing and be on their merry way.

But of course Laura is still looking. Beautifully naive little Laura, with her great big heart and her cinder block head. Only someone like Laura would refuse to give up in the face of complete failure. Only Laura would chase the truth into hell. Carmilla smiles softly and puts her book down, sliding silently to the end of her bed.

“No luck?” she asks. She knows the answer. The dean has always covered her tracks well. Laura forces a smile over her shoulder at Carmilla and sits back from her laptop. There are dark circles under her eyes from all the time she’s spent searching instead of sleeping.

“Unfortunately this seems to be the one time the internet can’t help me,” Laura states, frustration cutting into her voice.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, cupcake. It was always going to be a long shot,” Carmilla says. Good lord she’s actually comforting Laura, what the hell is she thinking? Laura sighs and turns back to her computer.

“I know, but someone can’t just kidnap thirty people and leave no evidence. That’s insane! There has to be something we’re missing,” she decides. Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“Y’know sometimes the truth just isn’t out there. Might want to come to terms with that sooner rather than later,” she advises. Laura scoffs.

“If this is another attempt to get me to give up you can stop right there. I’m not giving up,” she declares. Carmilla snorts and gets up to rummage through the fridge.

“I don’t care what drastic measures you and the friendly neighborhood gingers carry out in order to find those kids. I’m just saying that if your plan fails you shouldn’t be too hard on yourselves. Shit happens, y’know?” She refuses to look at Laura when she says it. Laura stares at her anyway.

“Yeah, thanks,” she says, biting her lip thoughtfully. It still catches her off guard when Carmilla does something especially sweet. Laura honestly can’t believe just a few weeks ago they were two seconds from killing each other and now… It’s almost like they’re completely different people.

Carmilla glances up at her and Laura’s heart skips a beat. It’s dawning on her how unfair Carmilla’s existence is. She’s gorgeous and charming when she wants to be, smarter than most people Laura knows, and entirely too confident. Not to mention she brings Laura presents and helps her with her homework. Which is probably definitely the reason that Laura is discovering she has the biggest crush on Carmilla ever.

God, she’s so screwed.

Laura knows there is zero chance in any universe that Carmilla could ever have feelings for her. After all, she’s the stupid little freshman in way over her head. Sure, they can be friends. Friends are easy and uncomplicated… mostly (okay not really, but it makes her feel better to think so, all right?). Dating? Dating is something else entirely. Not to mention Carmilla’s previous girlfriend had mysteriously disappeared and Carmilla didn’t seem to be entirely over it.

No, Laura would just have to suffer in silence until she managed to get over Carmilla.

Hah. Right.

Carmilla smirks at the slightly dazed look on Laura’s face. It’s obvious she’s daydreaming about something important, probably even crazier ways to find the missing freshman. She really needs to get more sleep. Seriously, how many hours had Laura been awake at this point? Carmilla glances up at the clock and freezes. Shit. She was supposed to be at the mansion making preparations ten minutes ago.

“What?” Laura asks, snapping out of her thoughts just long enough to see the annoyed expression on Carmilla’s face.

“I’m late,” Carmilla explains bitterly, reaching under her bed to drag out the bag she’d packed while Laura was sleeping. Laura feels her heart sink. Right. Carmilla always had plans friday night. Probably with some hot blonde who has more life experience and interesting things to talk about.

“Oh, where are you off to?” Laura asks anyway. Carmilla smirks at her and throws her coat on over her blouse.

“Just have some work to do. Trust me, it’s more boring than your ridiculous lit paper. I’ll be back before you wake up. Try not to worry or anything,” she says airily, sauntering out the door with her bag slung over one shoulder. The second she’s gone Laura groans loudly and slouches in her chair.

“It’s official. I’m hopeless,” she says to the empty room.

Lafontaine appears in the doorway, out of breath and slightly frazzled.

“Should I assume that means you haven’t found anything?” they ask. Laura shrugs.

“Sure. It’s pretty much the same thing anyway.”

Lafontaine quickly looks both ways down the hall before coming in and closing the door. Laura raises an eyebrow. What was going on now? Lafontaine strides over and sits on the end of Carmilla’s bed.

“I have an idea,” they say matter-of-factly, “It’s a little extreme but hear me out, okay?” Laura nods like yes is the obvious answer in situations like these. Lafontaine glances at the door again and then back at Laura.

“So we know that whenever a student goes missing a letter shows up supposedly from them that claims they’ve dropped out, right?” Lafontaine explains.

“Yeah, at the same time their luggage goes missing to make it look like they’ve travelled somewhere,” Laura agrees. Lafontaine nods.

“But what I couldn’t figure out is how the school finds out they’ve dropped out.You can’t just phone in or send an email. You have to go in and make an appointment with an advisor. If these kids were really being kidnapped, someone had to be filling out the paperwork,” Lafontaine finishes. Laura’s eyes go wide. Holy shit.

“Whoever is kidnapping students works for the school!” she realizes. Lafontaine nods.

“I’ll bet you anything that the missing freshman’s files have something in them that can tell us exactly who we’re looking for,” they say.

“Well what are we waiting for, look them up!” Laura exclaims. Lafontaine licks their lips.

“Yeah, one tiny problem with that. Silas hasn’t gone digital in the student records department yet. They’re all still in hard copy down in the enrollment office.” Laura freezes, sudden clarity hitting her like the adrenaline rush of a lifetime.

“We have to break into the records room,” she says. Lafontaine nods. They have no other choice.

They end up crouched in the bushes next to the stairs, waiting with baited breath for the lights inside the building to click off. Lafontaine has binoculars slung around their neck and Laura’s pockets are packed tightly with every kind of defense she could think of in the very short preparation they’d allowed themselves. It’s nearly five thirty, an entire half an hour after the office is supposed to close, and they are running out of time.

The light in the upstairs window wavers and goes out. Lafontaine puts a hand on Laura’s shoulder and urges her forward. They shuffle closer to the stairs, legs at the ready. The door opens and a stout woman with glasses and curly hair strides out. Lafontaine reaches out and catches the door before it can close and Laura leaps over the railing. Her feet hitting the pavement make a solid smacking sound and she’s just barely squeezing behind the door when the office manager turns around to investigate. Laura crouches just inside the door, her heel keeping it propped open, and holds her breath. It’s only open a hair’s breadth, logically completely unnoticeable, and yet she’s quite sure the woman is going to double back and find her there. Her heart thunders in her chest. This is it. This is the moment she gets expelled.

The door swings open and Lafontaine slides in beside her.

“Coast is clear. Let’s go we only have forty five minutes before the earliest parties start,” they hiss at her. Laura grins and runs after them. The records room is first floor, just behind the help desk. When they reach it Lafontaine whips out a set of keys and starts trying them in the door.

“Are those Perry’s keys?” Laura asks suspiciously.

“Sometimes she helps out in the office. Apparently no one else can file as fast as she can,” Lafontaine explains. Laura shrugs and nods. Sounds legit.

When the door finally swings open they stand there for a few seconds taking it all in. There are rows upon rows of cabinets, way too many to look through in a very short forty five minutes.

“You find Kirsch, I’ll find Sadie,” Lafontaine says. Laura nods and they split up. Thankfully everything is alphabetized. Laura takes out her phone and shines it on the cabinets until she finds the K. Kirsch is near the back, his record thin and unhindered by the years of school barely even started. Laura pulls it out and flips it open before realizing she can read any of it in the dark. She turns around to find the light switch, totally oblivious to Lafontaine walking up behind her. They collide with a strangled yelp and the files go crashing to the floor. They stand perfectly still, ears turned up to eleven trying to hear any indication that someone might have heard.

Lafontaine sighs and shakes their head.

“Seriously, Laura? How did you not hear me walk up?”

“I got like three hours of sleep last night, don’t judge me!” Laura bites back. They bend down to pick up the scattered papers and put them back. Lafontaine picks up a few forms and sees something peculiar.

“Whoa. Laura. Look at this!” they whisper. Laura looks over at the page they’re holding in their hands. It’s the drop form and in the upper hand corner under “Misc” a tiny yellow mark glows brightly in the dark.

“What the....” Laura leafs through Kirsch’s records until she finds his drop form. The same symbol is stamped in the corner, creepy glowing and all.

“That’s why no one realized what was happening. These marks can only be seen in the dark. There could be hundreds in here,” she whispers. Lafontaine frowns.

“Neither of these forms have an advisor signature either. There’s no way to find out who filled them out,” they grumbled.

“There has to be a way we can search through all the files without y’know, actually searching through the files,” Laura complains. Lafontaine’s eyes go wide.

“I think I might have a way…” they say uncertainly. Laura waves her hands for them to continue. They only have a few more minutes!

“Okay, so everyone who files something in here has to check in on the computer. They put in their name and the code for every file they’re altering. It’s a countability thing, so that when something goes wrong the school knows which secretary to fire,” Lafontaine explains. Laura scrunches up her nose in disgust.

“That’s awful!”

“Yeah but look! If someone working for the school is doing this, they’d want it to look as official as possible which includes logging in to the system. Maybe they logged in with a false name or something!” Lafontaine hisses.

“In which case we would just need to run Kirsch or Sadie’s name through the computer and find out who the last person to alter their records was!” Laura exclaims. The two friends jump to their feet and rush to the computer at the desk. Lafontaine logs on with Perry’s password and quickly brings up the program.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve done this, is it?” Laura asks skeptically. Lafontaine cringes.

“There was a minor incident with a fire once. We don’t talk about it.” Laura nods and peers over their shoulder as they type.

“Here it is. The last person who accessed Kirsch’s file was someone named… Mary Sue. Uh, yeah that’s definitely a fake name,” Lafontaine sighs. Laura rolls her eyes and types the name into the search bar over Lafontaine’s shoulders. The screen is instantly filled with over three hundred results. Hot goddamn.

“They’ve been taking kids for years,” Lafontaine breaths. Laura scans the list over and over, her heart stuck in her throat. This is more than a student. This is more than anything she could have ever imagined. Whatever is happening on campus is deep and dark and sinister.

“Laf, look. The last entry. It’s for Aidan Prince. I know her she’s in my lit class,” Laura says, voice breaking. Laf nods curtly and logs out of the computer.

“Where would she go?” they ask. Laura shakes her head.

“I don’t know. she just sits in front of me we don’t.... oh god. In class she was talking about this new club opening right off campus,” Laura remembers.

“The Crystal Cave!” Laf supplies. Laura cringes.

“We really are a school full of nerds aren’t we?” she sighs. Laf shrugs.

“It could be worse,” they remind her. Laura sighs again. Yeah. Someone could be kidnapping hundreds of people.

Oh wait.

When Laf and Laura return to the dorms and inform Danny and Perry of their harrowing adventures, there is a lot of yelling. Apparently sneaking into private faculty offices is bad enough, but doing so with a kidnapper on the lose is just about a felony.

“Seriously, I’m happy you guys found the next victim but you should have told us where you were going,” Danny complains as they walk to the club. Laura wraps her arms more tightly around herself and tries not to shiver.

“We know, we know! We heard you the first eight times,” she grumbles.

“It was very inconsiderate of you,” Perry cuts in, pointing a very specific look at Laf, “What if something had gone wrong? Is that really what you want, for us to have no idea what happened to you?” Laf makes a face and shoves their hands in their pockets.

“If we told you where we were going you would have stopped us,” they remind Perry. Perry folds her arms and frowns

“Well of course I would have. You two are obviously insane!”

“We can argue about this later,” Laura says as they round the corner and come face to face with the glowing sign above the club. It’s big and blue with silver backing. The music inside is so loud that they can hear the lyrics from the sidewalk. Perry pales and grabs Lafontaine’s hand.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Shouldn’t we call the police?” she asks.

“The police won’t come, remember? They can’t do anything unless a crime is in progress or already committed. If we called them now they would just laugh in our faces,” Lafontaine sneers.

“So what’s the plan then?” Danny asks, “Just go in there and watch some girl get taken?”

“Guys come on, we can do this! We’re going to go in there and find Aidan. Once we know where she is we’re going to follow her until whoever it is tries to take her. Once we know who it is we can call the police and hand this whole thing over to them,” Laura explains carefully. The others nod. Laura takes a deep breath and turns back to the club. Okay. It’s now or never.

Carmilla is lounging in the corner watching the mark when Will slides into the space in front of her. His hair is slicked back and the smile on his face is somehow ten times creepier than it usually is. Carmilla glares at him but it doesn’t seem to have much effect.

“Hey Cat, party not quite your style?” he leers.

“We aren’t here to party, William, we’re here to do our jobs,” she hisses back at him. The pounding music is giving her a headache and he isn’t helping. God, she just wants to be back in her room and out of this hot, sticky, club. Will shrugs and leans on the wall next to her.

“Y’know I always thought you needed to loosen up a little. You’ve been kinda a bitch since that whole thing with that girl. Come on, pick a girl.” Carmilla debates the benefits of murdering Will and decides that it’s almost worth it. Maybe when she leaves she’ll just burn the whole place down.

“Oh hey, that ones cute. What about her?” Will points to a girl through the crowd. Carmilla turns to look just for the hell of it, just to see who Will thinks her type is. A bolt of terror runs through her when she sees the tiny brunette weaving across the dance floor, shrinking as far as she can into the wall.

What the fuck is Laura doing here?

“Oh that’s not a happy face,” Will snorts, “What’s the matter. Do you know her?”

“No she’s just,” Carmilla makes another face, “Short. I’m more into edgy blondes.”

“Mhmmm, well I’ll be over there doing the heavy lifting if you need me. Don’t rip anyone’s throat out while I’m gone, okay?” Will disappears into the crowd and Carmilla growls. The day she leaves really cannot come soon enough.

Her eyes fall back on Laura and she takes a deep breath. Laura looks ridiculously out of place, bouncing along to the music like a drunk twelve year old off to the side. Her eyes are scanning the crowd in just about the most unsubtle way possible. Carmilla groans. Of course. Out of all the parties Laura would decide to case, this was the one she had to pick.

Carmilla wants to run across the room and drag Laura away, take her back to their room where she can stay safe and happy until this whole thing is over. Two more terms and Carmilla will be out of Silas, the dean exposed, and everyone returned to their rightful places. Why oh why did she have to fall for the most impatient girl on campus?

She’s so intent on watching Laura that she doesn’t notice the tall jock walking up behind her until he’s already got his hand on Laura’s ass. Laura spins around and takes two steps back, nearly tripping on her own feet as she smiles politely and says something Carmilla can’t hear. Carmilla curls her hands into fists, forcing herself to stay put. After all, Laura can handle herself if the stories she’s heard about Laura’s self defense classes are true. Laura isn’t the type to put up with neanderthal bullshit anyway. The kid tries again, this time dancing stupidly into Laura’s space while asking her a question. Laura shakes her head and reaches into her back pocket for something. Carmilla’s eyes widen. Oh for fuck’s sake.

Laura doesn’t know why she thought going out on the dance floor alone was a good idea. They’d decided to split up to have a better chance of finding Aidan before it’s too late. Now she thinks she should have at least kept Danny with her, if only to make fending of the complete jackasses that much easier.

“Yeah, sorry, that’s really not going to make me want to dance with you,” Laura says in thinly veiled disgust. The zeta does a few more pelvic thrusts anyway. Laura can’t see the edge of the dance floor anymore. Somehow she’s backed herself up into the very center of the room. They’re surrounded on all sides by writhing bodies and sweaty skin. So not what Laura had in mind.

“Come on! I’ve seen you dancing. I know what you want,” he leers at her. Laura grimaces and reaches into her back pocket. She kinda feels bad for him, in a weird pathetic way.

An arm snakes around her waist as a body presses flush into her back. Laura whips her head to the side and comes eye to eye with Carmilla, dark eyes flashing in the dim light of the club as she snatches the pepper spray from Laura’s hand and disposes of it somewhere. Laura’s heart nearly falls through her stomach and she takes a shaky breath. Carmilla places her other hand on Laura’s hip and smirks at her.

“There you are. I thought I’d lost you forever in this godforsaken crowd,” Carmilla says into Laura’s ear. The frat boy looks lost and slightly aroused, which serves to piss Carmilla off even more. She tugs at Laura’s hips to get her to move to the beat, running her hands up and down Laura’s stomach in time to the music. Laura can feel herself blushing, so much so that she’s pretty sure her skin is like the surface of the sun.

“Sorry, this dance is mine,” Carmilla sneers, and oh god that’s probably the hottest thing laura has ever heard. The Zeta huffs and slinks away. Carmilla watches him approach a group of his friends and point back at them. Fuck.

Laura is pretty sure she’s going to pass out if Carmilla holds her any tighter. The warm breath on her neck is sending tingles up her spine and it’s almost unbearable to keep from pushing back into Carmilla’s pelvis. She tries to pull away, tries to apologize, but Carmilla presses in closer.

“If you value your sanity you will keep dancing. Douchebag is still watching,” she whispers in Laura’s ear. Laura looks at her with wide eyes and Carmilla sighs.

“Just follow my lead okay?” Laura nods and Carmilla tightens her grip on Laura’s hips. She starts swaying with the beat, rolling her hips back and forth like liquid in human form. Laura licks her lips and follows, pressing back into Carmilla like her life depends on it. She can smell Carmilla’s perfume and feel her skin where their shirts have ridden up. It’s like she’s in a dream, her eyes never leaving Carmilla’s over her shoulder.

Laura picks it up quickly, grinding harder into Carmilla even as her hand tangles with the other girl’s against her hip bone. Carmilla breathes in sharply, her eyes widening. Her entire body is on fire, a low hum building up in her belly as Laura moves against her. Laura reaches up with her other hand and tangles it in Carmilla’s hair. Suddenly they’re forehead to forehead, breathing into each other’s mouths. It would only take an inch or two and they’d be kissing, tongues dancing like their bodies pressed even closer than before.

The song ends and the DJ announces he’s taking a break. Most people filter off the dance floor but Laura and Carmilla just stand there, chests heaving as they stare at each other. Oh god, Laura thinks, I almost kissed her. I almost kissed Carmilla. She tears herself away, apologizing profusely as she backs away.

“Thanks for um, saving me. I really owe you one. I’m just uh, going to find my friends,” she stutters. Carmilla smiles tightly.

“No problem, cutie. Just don’t make me do it again and we won’t have a problem.” A problem that would consist of her fucking Laura rather hard into one of their mattresses, or maybe right here against one of the support beams. Fuck what is she doing????

Laura nods and dashes to the bar, partly because it’s something she can hold onto and partly because if she doesn’t sit soon her legs might give out from underneath her. She slides into an empty barstool and immediately looks around for Danny or Laf and Perry. A shock of red hair finally appears over by the bathrooms. Laura waves and Danny catches her eye. She shakes her head slightly and Laura frowns. Where could Aidan be? She should have been looking for her not….

Okay maybe she can’t quite regret that yet.

“Hey, you okay?” A voice says from behind her. A guy with slicked back hair and a charming smile is sitting next to her, an ice cold beer in one hand. Laura shakes her head to clear her mind of Carmilla. Focus, Laura, she thinks to herself.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired from all that dancing,” she answers shortly, trying to scan the crowd for Aidan again. The guy frowns and leans toward her.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, here have some water,” he says, motioning for the bartender. Laura watches him pour a glass of ice cold water and licks her lips. That does sound unbelievably good. The guy pushes the glass towards her and Laura takes it. Water couldn’t hurt right?

“So what brings you here tonight? Just the opening or someone special?” the guy asks. Laura gulps down the water and sets the glass back on the counter.

“Oh you know, friends and curiosity,” she says absentmindedly. The guy laughs.

“That’s a pretty good combination,” he replies. Laura nods, trying to focus on the people against the back wall. None of them look like Aidan, but then again she’s not sure. Everyone is kind of out of focus.

“Do you go to Silas?” the guy asks. Laura nods slowly and the world spins. Wow, she really shouldn’t have only gotten three hours of sleep.

“Yeah, m’a freshman,” she slurs.

Laf appears at the side door, motioning for Laura to join them outside. Laura stands to make her way across the room but she stumbles. The guy is at her side instantly, helping her stay on her feet. Somewhere in the dimness the DJ resumes his playing and people jump back on the dance floor. Laf disappears from view. All Laura can feel is the arm around her waist and a hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t we go for a walk? Maybe the hot air is what’s getting to you,” the guy says smoothly. Laura tries to shake her head but she can’t tell if it’s actually happening. The world in front of her is turning into shapes and blurring colors. She manages to look over her shoulder, trying to spot anyone she knows.

Carmilla is standing at the bar, a glass in her hand. She looks up just in time to see Will dragging Laura out the back door. Laura blinks at her, her eyes wide with fear. Carmilla, she thinks, Carmilla will help me. Then everything goes black.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Lafontaine taps their foot impatiently on the concrete of the alley outside the club and glances back inside. Danny leans on the wall a few feet away and Perry paces back and forth in front of them like the worried mother hen she is. Danny bites her lip and strains to hear what’s going on in the club.

“Are you sure she saw you?” she asks. Lafontaine clenches their jaw.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I just don’t know what’s taking her so long.”

“We should never have done this,” Perry exclaims shrilly, “We should have just called the police!”

“And tell them what? We didn’t find anything!” Lafontaine sighs. Perry makes a properly offended face and walks right up into Laf’s space.

“We could have told them a girl was going to be kidnapped seeing as it’s already happened!” she hisses.

“Technically all we know is that we couldn’t find her. Maybe Aidan decided not to come?” Danny suggests. “Here I’ll go in and find Laura.” Laf throws their arms up.

“The entire reason we came out here is cause it’s so packed in there we couldn’t find each other. I nearly lost Perry and she wouldn’t let go of my hand,” Lafontaine reminds her.

“There’s a very high chance we’ll never see you again,” Perry agrees. She grimaces fantastically. “Or Laura. Oh goodness gracious what if we never find Laura? She’s a freshman for pete’s sake! The university has entrusted me with the lives of young people and they’re all going missing! This is not how junior year was supposed to go!” Lafontaine rubs Perry’s shoulders soothingly and shoots a pointed look at Danny. Danny sighs and leans back against the wall.

Somewhere down the alley a garbage can tips over with a miraculous crash. All three ginger heads swivel in the direction of the noise. Danny looks at Lafontaine and raises an eyebrow. Laf licks their lips and starts down the alley, picking up a forgotten baseball bat as they go. Perry trips over herself to lace their fingers together and Danny brings up the rear protectively.

“Keep your voices down, jesus christ, it’s like you guys have forgotten what we’re doing out here,” a young male voice hisses. There’s a chorus of snickers and the sound of a car door opening.

“Don’t worry, your majesty, we’ve got this. Not our fault you decided to grab an extra,” A rougher voice responds. The ginger squad crouches down behind a dumpster and peers around the corner. A group of five or six guy were standing around the back of a black van. They looked like juniors or seniors. Among them was another guy who looked a bit younger, dark slicked back hair and clean cut clothes. He has his arm around a girl who looked vaguely familiar…

“Is that?” Danny hisses.

“Laura,” Lafontaine confirms. Perry’s hand flies over her mouth. They watch as an eighth guy walks out of the club with a human shaped bundle in his arms.

“On the count of three,” Danny growls. Lafontaine begins to rise up but Perry drags both of them back down.

“What do you think you’re doing? You cannot just run in there without a plan! There are twice as many of them as there are of us and the only thing we have is a baseball bat. If we get taken too there will be no one to call the police and save Laura,” she whispers.

“We can’t just leave her!” Lafontaine tries to shout without raising their voice.

“Well we can’t get ourselves killed either, that would just-” there’s a loud bang down the alley and they jump.

Carmilla stands in the alley, her hands clenched into her fists at her sides. The guys around the van all take a step back.

“What the fucking hell do you think you’re fucking doing?” she snaps.

When she’d seen Laura disappearing with Will out the back door, Carmilla thought her heart was going to break into a million pieces all over again. She slammed her glass down and ran out after them, not even thinking about the way it looked or how she was drawing attention to herself.

Carmilla is livid.

Will smirks at her and looks down at Laura. Her head is resting on her shoulder and her eyes are closed. If Will wasn’t holding her up there’s no doubt she would have been on the floor. Every once in a while she moves her head, still barely conscious. Carmilla wants to rip her away from Will and spirit her away, somewhere she can’t be hurt by the stupid operation their mother is running. Will must have seen them dancing and thought there was something between them. If she rushes him he’ll know he’s right and then they’ll both be fucked.

It’s almost worth it honestly.

“Sorry Kitty, thought I’d get a little bit of revenge. After all, she’s just mom’s type,” Will says.

“What, for Kirsch? You knew he was a potential and you still tried to recruit him!” Carmilla sneers. The vein in Will’s neck pops as he swallows.

“He was one of us and you sent him to the slaughter just because I pissed you off,” he growls.

“Oh, and you’re so perfect? You just drugged my roommate! Her dad is the equivalent of Liam Neeson and if she goes missing he will come after us. He already knows she hates me. I will be the first person they look at and if I go down you’re going down with me,” Carmilla explains harshly. Will grins.

“You sure you aren’t upset because you’ve got a lady boner for her? Or did you already forget what happened last time?” he says darkly. Carmilla reaches for him and then stops herself.

“If you take her we’re dead, do you understand me? Do you want to explain how you kidnapped a potential threat? That she’s seen your face and can identify you? You’ll be looking at punishments for the rest of your pathetic life you little snitch,” Carmilla snarls. Will frowns and swallows. His guys stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do. Finally, Will smiles. There’s anger and defeat in his eyes, the very description of a whipped pup.

“Fine. We were just having a little fun anyway,” he hisses. Without preamble he shoves Laura towards Carmilla. She stumbles and Carmilla leaps forward to catch her. God if Laura falls down she’ll never get her back up. Will glares at them and jumps into the back of the van. In seconds it’s gone, taking the corner at the end of the street too fast.

Carmilla can’t even check Laura for injuries before she’s being shoved up against the wall. Danny towers over her, her face contorted in rage. She’s holding a baseball bat. Carmilla’s eyes swivel to Laura, safely in the arms of Perry and Lafontaine. Carmilla sighs in relief. At least there’s that.

“You did this,” Danny hisses at her.

“Ah yes, I’m the idiot who just put a girl in a van, I hadn’t realized,” Carmilla shoots back. Danny growls and puts a little more pressure on Carmilla’s collarbone.

“We heard everything you said to him. We know you’re helping kidnap those students,” Laf cuts in. They look…. disappointed almost. Perry is just looking at her like she’s absolutely repulsive.

Fair enough.

“Look, it’s not what you think,” Carmilla bites out. How the hell is she supposed to explain herself to these idiots?

“We’re calling the cops and then you’re going down,” Danny promises. Carmilla snorts loudly.

“Yeah, cause they’re going to show up. Have you morons really not figured out that they’re being paid off? No one is going to come save you,” she laughs.

“Who are you working for?” Lafontaine asks. Carmilla shakes her head.

“You wouldn’t want to know,” she says.

“I swear to god if you don’t tell us right now-”

“Carm?” Everyone stops and looks at Laura. She blinks. Everything is hazy and dark but the loud noises weren’t letting her sleep. God she wants to sleep. She is just so tired. Carmilla swallows and glances up at Danny. Well she certainly doesn’t look happy.

“I’m right here cupcake,” she replies softly. Laura zeroes in on her and then on Danny.

“What are you…. what’re you doing? Why is everyone yelling? Why are you hurting Carmilla?” she slurs. Danny takes a step back, unsure of how this is going to go.

“I’m fine, cutie. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Carmilla says. Danny looks at her in surprise and Carmilla shrugs.

“Carmilla? I think I want to go home,” Laura says, “Can we go home, please?” She can feel her eyes start to slip closed again. She just wants Carmilla to take her home. Without her inhibitions the urge to reach out and wrap herself around Carmilla seems like a really good idea. It makes her feel warm and happy on the inside. How bad can something be if it makes you feel warm and happy?

Laura pushes away from Perry and Lafontaine and tries to step in Carmilla’s direction. Perry and Lafontaine grab at her but she swats them away.Carmilla ducks out from under Danny’s arm and catches her before she can stumble. Laura snuggles into her chest, her arms winding around Carmilla’s neck. Carmilla bites her lips and looks up at the sky. The ginger squad share glances, thoroughly confused.

“Look, when Laura wakes up I’ll explain everything but there’s no way in hell I’m laying it all out for you three losers. You were in way over your heads weeks ago. I could have given you up any time in the last three weeks but you’re still alive aren’t you? So if you want to find out why, let me take her home,” Carmilla says. Lafontaine looks at Danny and then at Perry. What else can they do? Carmilla saved Laura, didn’t she?

“Fine,” Danny snaps, “But the second she’s awake you are going to spill every poison bean in that nasty head of yours.” Carmilla rolls her eyes and scoops Laura into her arms.

“Whatever you say, beanstalk,” Carmilla sighs.

They walk a few paces behind Carmilla the whole way to the dorm but she doesn’t notice. Laura’s hand is clutching at her shirt where the top few buttons have come undone and her thumb is sweeping over Carmilla’s scar in a rhythmic motion.

It’s a fucking miracle she even remembers to breathe.

When they get back to the dorm room Danny takes Laura’s keys out of her pocket and opens the door. Carmilla breezes through and deposits Laura on her bed, untangling Laura’s arms from her neck and her shirt before throwing a blanket over her. Danny stands at the head of the bed, arms crossed and face tense. Lafontaine and Perry make themselves perfectly at home at Laura’s desk, neither one taking their eyes off Carmilla.

“What? Are you planning on a little sleepover?” she snaps at them.

“Do you really expect us to just leave her with you?” Danny asks.

“You do remember the part about the kidnapping? You kidnapped people,” Lafontaine reminds her.

“Besides, we have no idea what that boy gave her. What if she needs medical attention?” Perry adds. Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose and tries to remember why she hadn’t just told Will the three had been hiding behind the dumpster.

“You do realize that I’m only being nice because you’re Laura’s friends right? I could have all three of you expelled in seconds. Will gave her what we give all of them. Besides some short-term memory loss, she’s going to be fine. Now get out before I decide being nice isn’t worth it,” Carmilla growls.

“How do we know you’re not just going to take her once we’re gone?” Danny argues.

“Oh, sure, because I definitely carried her all the way here and tucked her in like a total fucking sap just so I could kidnap her later. Did you forget about the part where I revealed my ‘true nature’ just to get her back? If anything I want her safe more than you do. I’m not the one who left her alone in a club where people were getting kidnapped!” Carmilla yells. Danny grinds her teeth and looks to Lafontaine. Lafontaine shakes their head. Perry squeezes their hand and straightens her posture. Carmilla looks from one ginger to the other.

“If you don’t leave in the next thirty seconds I’m calling campus security,” she sighs.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Lafontaine hisses. Carmilla takes a step in their direction.

“Try me.”

Danny bites her lip, absolutely torn. They can’t be here when Laura wakes up if they’re all in the disciplinary offices on the quad. It takes hours to go through getting even one citation for bad behavior and there was no doubt in her mind that Carmilla will drag that out as long as she has to.

“Fine. But we’re going to be back at eight on the dot and if the two of you are gone then several things are going to happen that I don’t even want to think about,” Danny declares. Lafontaine looks highly offended but Perry grabs their arm.

“She’s right. If we’re stuck in a campus hearing we won’t be able to help Laura at all,” she says. Laf snaps their mouth shut and stomps out of the room, pointing a finger threateningly at Carmilla as they go. Perry hurries after, straightening the blanket thrown over Laura as she goes by.

“Several. Things.” Danny repeats. She spins and walks out, slamming the door behind her. Carmilla flinches at the noise and runs a hand through her hair. Shit. Shit shit shit. This was not how things were supposed to go. She was not supposed to fall for a girl and get caught by her friends, or put her neck on the line disagreeing with Will. She can only imagine what Mother will have in store for them when she finds out. Maybe she should just leave now, screw the degree. But god she can’t! That degree is the only thing that makes it possible to leave in the first place. Without it she’ll never be able to support herself.

“Carm?” Carmilla jumps at Laura’s soft voice. The door must have woken her up. Laura watches Carmilla through half-lidded eyes, her earlier nap allowing her just enough energy to stay awake.

“Hey, Laura. I’m right here,” Carmilla says. She kneels next to the bed so Laura can see her better and Laura reaches out for her hand. Their fingers tangle together and Laura bites her lip.

“You aren’t going to leave are you?” Laura asks. Carmilla smiles.

“Nope. I’m staying right here. How’re you feeling?” Carmilla asks. Laura tries to figure it out. All she really feels is tired and a little…. scared? Only she can’t remember why she would be scared or how she got back in her bed and it’s all so confusing!

“I can’t remember,” she whimpers. Carmilla’s heart drops and she sinks down on the bed next to Laura. Fuck. Laura wasn’t supposed to be hurt. Laura was never meant to be anywhere near this mess.

“It’s okay, Laura. We were at the club and you got sick so we brought you back. You’re fine,” Carmilla reassures her, fingers running through Laura’s hair. She can tell her the truth in the morning. No reason to get her all worked up when she’ll just pass out again.

Laura sighs and shifts forward so her head is on Carmilla’s lap. Carmilla is so warm and soft and she knows she shouldn’t be doing this but she’s just so tired. She lays her arm over Carmilla’s legs, hand coming to rest on Carmilla’s hip. Her shirt has ridden up and Laura slips her fingers underneath against the soft skin of her side. Carmilla stiffens. It doesn’t mean anything, she thinks, Laura has no idea what she’s doing. She feels selfish for not pushing Laura away, but after tonight she’s pretty sure she’s never going to get this opportunity again.

Laura is lost in her own thoughts, trying to piece together what had happened before. She remembers showing up at the club and walking out on the dance floor, looking everywhere for Aidan. Then a guy she doesn’t know and a body against hers…. oh. She’d danced with Carmilla…. ON carmilla, technically. Her heart speeds up as she remembers the way their bodies pressed together, the beat pounding in her head as the flashes of memory cycle through her mind.

Laura’s hand tightens on Carmilla’s hip and Carmilla looks down. Laura has an odd look on her face, like she’s seeing something beautiful for the first time.

“Laura?”Carmilla asks worriedly.

“What’s the name of that song?” Laura asks quietly. Carmilla frowns at her.

“What song?”

“The one we danced to? What’s it called?” Laura asks, more urgently this time. Carmilla sucks in a painful breath. She still remembers.

“Wonderland. Natalia Kills. Don’t forget, okay cutie? I’m not telling you twice,” Carmilla says. Laura nods and closes her eyes. In moments she’s asleep. Carmilla sighs defeatedly. What is she doing? Nothing can happen between them. Laura is off limits.

Strangely enough, that doesn’t change anything.

Laura wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and a very fuzzy recollection of the night before. It’s still dark outside, earlier than she usually wakes up but to be fair she had gone to bed rather early… hadn’t she? She stares at the ceiling, her brain working overtime to figure out what happened. Her memory is at least better than it had been, and she’s clear enough to remember some weird guy with greasy hair putting something in her drink and leading her out of the club. The next thing she remembers is Carmilla’s voice, angry and low as she argues with someone. There’s no image, just the slurred together voices of several people.

And then there’s Danny holding Carmilla against the wall.

Laura whips her head to the side and stares at Carmilla’s bed. Carmilla is there, facing her, head tucked into her pillow as she sleeps. Laura tries to reconcile this with the images she has in her head. Nothing is adding up.

Laura knows she probably shouldn’t wake Carmilla up. Carmilla totally won’t appreciate it and will probably definitely rip Laura’s head off. Only Laura needs answers and Laura is very bad at waiting. Maybe Carmilla won’t mind. After all, last night was… messed up. She’ll understand.

Laura moves as quietly as she can out of bed and turns the light on. That alone makes Carmilla squeeze her eyes shut and roll over with a groan. Laura shuffles over to her bed and sits on the edge. Her fingers play with the comforter as she watches Carmilla from across the room.

“Carmilla?” she asks finally. Carmilla makes a low whining sound and looks over her shoulder at Laura.

“Shit,” she groans, burying her face back in her pillow. She doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t want to break Laura’s heart into a million little pieces or explain herself or…. fuck, any of it honestly. Laura crosses her arms and licks her lips.

“Please, Carmilla. I feel like I got hit by a truck and I just… I want to know what happened and I know you know,” Laura explains. Carmilla sighs and sits up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She looks Laura up and down, reaffirming that no physical harm came to her.

“How much do you remember?” she asks. Laura shrugs, her brow creasing as she focuses.

“Some guy came up to me after you and I….” she glances up at Carmilla, a fabulous blush spreading across her cheeks, “anyway he put something in my drink and everything is completely gone until I hear your voice and then Danny has you against the wall? Did that… really happen?” Carmilla bites her lips and moves to sit cross legged on her bed.

“His name’s Will. He took you because he was angry at me,” she admits softly.

“He tried to kidnap me because you pissed him off?” Laura asks incredulously, “Geez, what did you do?” Carmilla swallows and pushes her hair out of her face.

“He was friends with Kirsch,” she says. Laura furrows her brow. Kirsch? No. Carmilla couldn’t be…

Oh god. Oh shit.

“You?” Laura breathes out. Carmilla clenches her jaw and stands up. She walks to the window and looks out, looks up at the stars.

“I pick them. He grabs them. If we don’t deliver… well let’s just say it’s not pretty,” she says forcefully, angrily. She doesn’t have the heart to sugar coat it. She doesn’t deserve to sugar coat it. Everything that’s happening is her fault and she deserves whatever she gets for it.

Laura stands frozen in place, her heart racing in her chest. This could not be happening. All these weeks and Carmilla hadn’t ever even hinted that she… oh god she’d kidnapped people. Carmilla is a monster!

“I’ve been looking for them for weeks and you’ve just watched? You sat on this bed and let me get in deeper and deeper. You made me believe you cared! You made me fall… You....” Laura stutters, so consumed by heartbreak and rage she doesn’t even know how to exist anymore. Carmilla clenches her fists and turns to Laura.

“Do you really think this was my idea?” Carmilla growls, “Do you think I wanted to be a part of this? There are consequences if I don’t do my job, Laura. She’d kill me if she knew we were talking right now!” Laura takes a step back. Carmilla never scared her before but now she’s not sure. She has no idea what Carmilla is capable of or anything in between, not really.

“Who? Tell me who Carmilla!” Laura demands, her voice breaking.

“Really, cupcake? Who do you think? Who is the one person around here with enough power to shut down campus security and the local police force?” Carmilla snaps. The truth occurs to Laura like a tidal wave crashing over her and washing her out.

“The dean,” she says flatly, “You work for the dean. She’s the one behind all of this.” Carmilla smirks nastily and leans on the wardrobe.

“Why do you think no one ever reported anything? She’s been running this operation since before I can even remember,” she hisses.

“Why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you tell anyone what was happening?” Laura shouts. Carmilla rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“What would I have done? I was a child. I didn’t even know where I was when she brought me here.”

“You could have at least tried! You could have told us when we started looking! When we started being friends! You had every opportunity Carmilla!”

“Really? Because you’re so trustworthy? Because you’re going to crack this case wide open and save the world with your silly little investigation? You have no idea what she’s capable of,” Carmilla yells. Laura can feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she lets them come. She’s so done with this. This was not supposed to happen. College was supposed to be her first taste of real freedom, not some fucked up surrealist CSI.

“At least I’m doing something,” she hisses at Carmilla.

“What makes you think I–"

“Shut up! Just shut up Carmilla! I don’t want to hear your stupid excuses anymore! You’re just as bad as she is!” Laura yells.

Carmilla stares at Laura, mouth open. Even though she knew this was coming, she’d never thought it would be this bad. She turns on her heel and walks out the door. Fuck this. Fuck being a good guy and fuck Laura. She never should have gotten involved with her in the first place.

Laura flinches when the door slams closed, her shoulders slumping. She falls forward onto her bed and wraps herself around her pillow. She can’t stop the hollow sobs that climb up her throat and fall from her mouth. How could things have become so messed up? She’d just wanted to go to college and make friends. She’d wanted to fall in love. So much for that.

Carmilla stomps out into the cold and takes a deep, ragged breath. She doesn’t know where she’s going to go. The house is probably suicide. Mother will be waiting for her. Maybe she can make a break for it or find somewhere to hide out.

A hand closes around her forearm and Carmilla turns. Her eyes widen even as the burlap sack is shoved over her head and her legs are kicked out from under her.

Apparently, her destination isn’t up for discussion.

Laura is still sitting silently on her bed when there’s a knock on her door nearly an hour later. She wipes the freshest tears from her face and yells that they can come in. Lafontaine, Perry, and Danny pile through the door.

“Laura? What’s wrong?” Perry exclaims.

“Where’s Carmilla?” Lafontaine asks. Danny growls and goes to check the bathroom.

“I knew we shouldn’t have trusted her. What’d she do?” Danny demands when she comes back empty handed. Laura shrugs, leaning into Perry’s welcoming embrace.

“She told me the truth and then we fought. She did it, guys. She helped kidnap all those people,” Laura says.

“Well, yeah. We already knew that. She said that there was more to it than that,” Lafontaine says. Laura shakes her head.

“She kept trying to say it wasn’t her fault, that the dean made her do it. How can that be true? She walks around campus just like the rest of us. If she didn’t like it why didn’t she just leave?” Laura argues.

“The dean? Seriously? Fuck we are so fucked,” Lafontaine groans.

“We have to figure out a way to expose her. It’s the only way. No one around here is going to listen to us,” Laura says. Danny sits down on the bed and puts her hand on Laura’s knee.

“We’re going to figure this out. And if Carmilla comes back, we’ll deal with her accordingly,” she promises. Laura nods. Something about Danny’s assertion makes her feel odd, like she’s not actually sure what it means. She pushes the feeling away and pulls her knees to her chest. Whatever Danny means, Carmilla probably deserves it.

If only she knew.

Carmilla has been on campus long enough to know when she’s being taken to the dean. By the time they reach the mansion she’s nearly frozen to death. The men carrying her don’t seem to care that she’s in a t-shirt in the middle of November. When they finally dump her on the floor of the dean’s office her teeth are chattering and her fingers are numb. Perfect

The sack is torn from her head and she’s shoved forward. Carmilla immediately looks up, needing to know what her punishment will be this time. Will is slumped in the chair next to the desk, a large black eye covering nearly half his face and his lip split wide open. The dean is leaning against her desk, a bored look on her face. In her hands she holds what looks like an antique longsword. The hilt is decorated with curling gold and silver twined together and the blade gleams in the half light of dawn.

“William tells me the two of you had a disagreement outside of a very public establishment in the presence of his men,” she remarks. Carmilla doesn’t dare move.

“He nearly exposed us. I had to stop him, Mother. I didn’t have a choice,” she pleads.

“You could have taken him aside. You could have waited until you had a private moment. You had choice, Carmilla. You just didn’t take them. What have I taught you? What have is the number one rule?” the dean demands.

“Not to show weakness, mother.” Carmilla says softly.

“Do you think by fighting in front of the help that you showed weakness, Carmilla?” Carmilla’s lip trembles and she takes a deep breath to keep it contained.

“Yes, mother.” The dean smiles and peers down at the sword in her hands.

“I’ve taken such care with you, Carmilla. You are meant to be my successor, but how can you be when you are still so weak? No, what you need is an opportunity. An opportunity to learn a lesson.” She steps toward Carmilla, the sword glinting menacingly in her hands.

“Now, dear, do try to pay attention.”

Carmilla closes her eyes and prays Laura never goes after her mother.


	9. Chapter 9

“So what are our options?” Danny asks. Laura shrugs, disrupting the pattern of Danny’s hand up and down her back. With every stroke her shoulders slump just a tiny bit more, her hands unclenching from the comforter on her bed in waves, the tears overlapping with less and less frequency.

“We can’t do anything until we know what we’re up against. The Dean is…. powerful and dangerous and an entirely different animal than some random serial kidnapper. As far as we know the local police are in her pocket and others could be, too,” Laf says. They’re sitting on Carmilla’s bed, apparently not at all bothered by how messy it is. Perry walks purposefully around the room tidying anything she can get her hands on.

“So we prove that she’s behind it and send the evidence to the national government or whatever. How does that even work here?” Laura asks. Laf and Danny shrug.

“Never really had a reason to find out,” Laf admits.

“Aren’t you all forgetting something just, I don’t know, slightly important hm?” Perry cuts in.

“What?” Danny asks. Laf and Laura look at each other in confusion. What else is there?

“Ourselves!” Perry exclaims in irritation, “have you forgotten that we live on this campus? We can’t just go gallivanting around without protection of some kind!” Laf’s eyes widen.

“Definitely a necessity. For all we know Carmilla is spilling our secrets as we speak.”

“I can’t believe I let her walk out on me. So stupid!” Laura chastises herself. Danny pulls her closer and squeezes her shoulder.

“It’s not your fault, Laura. We don’t know what she would have done if you’d tried to stop her. You’re safe and that’s what’s important,” Danny soothes. Laura leans into her and sighs forlornly.

“I guess we just lay low until we have a better idea of what’s going on,” she says. Lafontaine nods and stands up.

“I’ll figure out a way to get communications safely off campus and to each other. Until then, none of this leaves our rooms,” they declare. Danny and Laura nod in agreement. Laf bolts out of the room, followed quickly by an exasperated Perry. Danny turns to Laura after they’ve gone and gives her a once over.

“You want me to stay? We could watch movies or something,” she offers.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, weren’t you supposed to have that big party for the Summer Society?” Laura asks. Danny’s eyes go wide and she looks at her watch.

“Crap. Um. I can still stay? I mean, I know you and Carmilla were… y’know. Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Danny asks.

“Carmilla and I weren’t anything. I thought she was my friend but obviously not,” Laura sighs, “I think I’m going to try and get my homework done anyway. Procrastination is definitely one of my strong suits.” Danny half smiles and gives Laura one last squeeze.

“You need anything you call me, yeah?” she says.

“Sure,” Laura smiles.

When Danny is gone Laura pads over to her desk and drops into her chair. Her books stare back at her in a kinda boring, kinda listless way. Laura frowns and rearranges them a bit. She taps her fingers on the desktop and looks around. She hasn’t taken stock of the room since she’d woken up. She hadn’t done anything except change out of the dress she’d worn to the club and into some sweats.

Her small bag from the night before sits on the floor next to her bed, half kicked under the frame and lopsided, forgotten. She picks it up and digs through it, pulling out her cellphone from the crumb filled depths. A quick search through her contacts finds her what she’s looking for. She sits there and stares at the tiny screen, her finger hovering over the call button. She stares at the display so long the contact name is there when she blinks for a second too long.

Dad.

*****

Carmilla stumbles out of the Dean’s mansion at dusk, a thin jacket wrapped around her shoulders that she grabbed from the hall closet when no one was looking. The haze of twilight only exacerbates the haze in her mind and she blinks. The trees waver, double, and retract to their original positions. Shit.

Her hollow footsteps echo in the silence of the deserted campus. A labored breath and a wince accompany every movement. It’s a miracle her legs still work, but she supposes mother wouldn’t want to break her entirely. That would set them back even farther. The Dean may be brutal but she’s not stupid. Carmilla can’t effectively blend in if she can’t even take care of herself.

It takes twice the usual time to get to the dorms. Carmilla slips in the back door and up the stairs without alerting the people lounging in the lobby. Luckily, most people are out or locked in their rooms recuperating from a night of partying. She only bumps into one other student, and they’re too busy trying to get their key in their door to notice the blossoming bruises decorating her skin.

She pauses at the door to her room, collecting herself just enough to stretch a neutral expression across her face and straighten up despite the pain. With quick, measured motions she turns the key in the lock and steps over the threshold.

Laura jumps up at the sound of the door and grabs the nearest thing she can find, the ruler stuffed into her pencil holder. She holds it in front of her threateningly. Carmilla stops with her hand on the door. Everything in her tightens and shatters at the look on Laura’s face, the fear and the anger.

“Don’t come any closer,” Laura hisses. Carmilla doesn’t move. Laura furrows her brow and looks her up and down. Carmilla’s hair obscures her face and something dark covers her lips. There’s something about the way she’s holding herself, too stiff or too upright, that makes the hair on the back of Laura’s neck stand up.

“Really? You think I’d actually want to go anywhere near you right now? That’s adorable, cupcake,” Carmilla grinds out. She opens the wardrobe and takes out the first clothes she can get her hands on.

“You really expect me to believe you’re just back here to…. I don’t know, pretend none of this ever happened?” Laura asks. Carmilla shrugs and then instantly regrets it.

“I live here. If you don’t like that then I guess you’ll just have to suck it up.” She stalks past Laura and into the bathroom. The door slams behind her so hard the wall shakes. Carmilla drops her shoulders the second she’s out of sight, a pained groan slipping past her lips. She clutches the sink and drops her clothes on the floor. Fuck, shit, dammit, fuck.

Laura stares at the door, brow furrowed. She puts the ruler down on her desk and takes a step toward the bathroom. There’s an enormous crash from the other side of the door and she leaps back. A muffled string of curses erupt from the bathroom, followed by a second crash. Laura rushes forward and knocks on the door.

“Carmilla?” No response. Laura grimaces and knocks again.

“Are you okay? Do I need to…. jeez I don’t know, call an ambulance or something?” Laura rolls her eyes at herself and leans against the wall next to the door. The silence stretches on until her skin is crawling and she’s positive Carmilla is dead on the floor or waiting on the other side with something sharp to stab her with. Laura groans softly to herself and knocks again.

“I’m coming in, okay? God, you better not make me regret this,” she grumbles. She tries the doorknob and it turns easily. She opens it from a distance, bracing herself for any number of strange scenes. Her mouth drops open and the fear is gone from her shoulders before she can even register it’s drop to the pit of her stomach.

Carmilla sits on the floor, elbows on her knees and hands shielding her upturned face from the bright fluorescent light above the bathtub. Her lips are cracked and bloody, her knuckles raw. The jacket she’s wearing has slipped slightly off her shoulder to reveal a galaxy of a bruise across her collarbone. The towel rack that had been next to the sink is tipped over, the first crash, and the soap dish is shattered against the wall, the second.

“Holy shit, Carmilla,” Laura breathes. Carmilla doesn’t respond. Her whole body is perfectly still, tensed and held together by sheer will. Laura kneels down in front of her, hands curled in her lap. Carmilla breathes shallow, quick breaths and forces the lump in her throat down until she can’t feel anything anymore.

Laura gets up and opens the cupboard next to the sink. She tears through it until she finds the first aid kit her dad had packed for her the day before they left. She sets it on the floor next to them and kneels down again, reaching out for Carmilla’s slender wrist. Carmilla smacks her away and returns to her pose.

“Really? You can’t just leave these untreated, Carmilla. You could get a crazy gross infection or something,” Laura argues.

“I thought you didn’t want to be near me,” Carmilla drawls. Laura frowns and gently grasps Carmilla’s wrists. This time Carmilla let’s Laura pull her hands away from her face. Laura bites her lip to keep from gasping at the enormous bruise around Carmilla’s eye and down her cheek. She strokes the insides of Carmilla’s wrists and bows her head.

“She did this. The dean did this,” she states quietly.

“Well, don’t you catch on fast. Got any more profound wisdom for me?” Carmilla mutters angrily. Laura shakes her head and carefully begins to clean the cuts on Carmilla’s hands. She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She hadn’t listened to Carmilla. She had driven her from their room and back to that monster.

“I should have listened to you earlier. I didn’t realize that when you said she would kill you that you actually meant… dammit Carmilla. I was just so angry and you were acting like you didn’t care and I just…” Laura finishes with Carmilla’s knuckles and drops her hands back into her lap. Carmilla rolls her eyes and sits up.

“It’s not like you’re the one who beat me, sunshine. The faster you get over it the better this is going to go for all of us,” she sighs. Laura reaches up and pushes Carmilla’s hair out of her face. Carmilla pulls away, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. She can feel her heart beat skip a few every time Laura’s hands brush against her skin and if she’s ever going to survive this that’s a feeling that needs to stop immediately.

“I can take care of myself,” she growls. She grips the sink and hauls herself up. She makes it halfway before her ribs protest. Laura jumps in and helps her the rest of the way, one hand at her elbow and the other around her back.

“Look I know you hate me right now. I messed up and there is probably nothing in this whole world that could ever make it up to you because… wow this is bad, but at least let me look at your ribs to make sure they’re not broken, okay?” Laura pleads. She puts her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder and is immediately pushed back.

“What part of no do you not understand,” Carmilla hisses at her. Laura huffs and puts her hands on her hips.

“The part where that’s entirely unreasonable and could very well be the end of your life? What if you puncture a lung or fall again? You need me, Carm. Is this really that awful for you? Is taking your shirt off in front of me really such a horrible fate that you would rather die?” Laura argues. Carmilla shoots her a withering look and begins to wash her face with the washcloth Laura abandoned.

“Fine.” In one fluid motion, Laura pulls her shirt over her head and drops it on the floor. Carmilla stares at her in shock, crimson stained cloth halfway to her face.

“Now it’ll be even,” Laura says. Carmilla swallows roughly.

“Please, Laura. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with this before.” The sight of Laura in nothing but a soft white bra is going to haunt her for the rest of her life and she knows it.

“No. I’m not abandoning you. Not this time,” Laura promises. Carmilla looks up at her, eyes wide and pleading. Her hands shake around the washcloth. Laura takes it from her hands and sets it to the side. Carmilla sucks in a ragged breath and ducks her head.

“Fine,” she whispers. She starts to unbutton her shirt and Laura reaches forward to help. Little by little the smooth, milky skin of her chest is exposed, divided in two by the scar that will never ever fade and ugly purples stripes. Laura’s throat closes up as the shirt falls from Carmilla shoulders. Tiny white scars and thin scabs cover her ribs beneath the emerging bruises. Her eyes linger, knowing what it means without a thought. She reaches out and trails her fingers across Carmilla’s skin softly. Fuck.

“Carmilla… what happened to you?” she asks, her voice breaking. Carmilla closes her eyes and drops her hands to the sink again.

“You sure you want to know?” Carmilla asks. Laura nods.

“Everything,” she says. Carmilla bites her lip and shrugs. Very well then.

Laura decides that Carmilla’s ribs aren’t broken after five minutes of gentle prodding and helps Carmilla slide a clean shirt over her head. While Laura puts her own shirt back on, Carmilla sneaks past her into their room. She somehow manages to make it to her bed before Laura can catch up to her. She lays down gingerly. It’s difficult to find a position that doesn’t hurt a million times over. Laura runs in after her and sighs when she sees Carmilla on her back staring at the ceiling.

“When I was six I went into cardiac arrest. It must have taken them six months to find me a new heart. The only downside was my parents couldn’t afford it. When I woke up from the surgery no one was there except for the dean. I’d never seen her before but they told me that she’d offered to give me a home. She paid for my surgery and everything else and the next thing I know I’m on my way here,” Carmilla explains. Laura sits down on the edge of her bed, careful not to touch. Carmilla’s eyes flick over to her and Laura smiles reassuringly.

“She never tried to hide what she was from us. The second she had us she made sure we knew exactly what she wanted. She’d be sweet and affectionate one minute, cold and distant the next. I was sixteen the first time she asked me to find someone. I didn’t even hesitate.” Carmilla pauses for a moment, her eyes glazing over as the next piece of the puzzle comes to her.

“Until I met Elle,” she says.

“You know what happened to her, don’t you? You always knew,” Laura realizes. Carmilla nods. Laura bites her lip and takes Carmilla’s hand, gently avoiding the places that are bruised or cut. Carmilla smiles and squeezes back.

“Elle made me feel like a better person, like I could leave this life behind and do something. One night I finally told her what was happening. She reacted pretty much the same way you did. Only difference was she reacted much much louder. Mother found out in no time. She took her and then she handed me a gun. She said it was my mess, and that she wasn’t cleaning it up for me.” Carmilla stops again, her jaw clenched tightly.

“Did you…?” Laura asks.

“No. I would never hurt her. Mother eventually took pity on me and killed Elle herself. She made me watch, said it was my punishment for doing something as silly and stupid as lusting after some girl. After that I just couldn’t do it anymore. That’s why the numbers have dropped the last couple of years. I’ve been telling her that I’m bringing her only the best and so far she hasn’t questioned me,” Carmilla finishes.

“If you didn’t want to do it anymore, why didn’t you leave?” Laura asks in confusion. Carmilla raises her uninjured eyebrow.

“Where would I go? I have no money, no school history, no passport. The only thing I have is my degree. When I finish in the spring I’m planning on getting as far away from this place as I possibly can. I figured I’d leave an anonymous tip on some helpline somewhere on my way out of town,” Carmilla explains. Laura snorts and looks down at where her fingertips are doodling designs into Carmilla’s arm.

“What?” Carmilla asks. Laura shakes her head.

“I knew you cared,” she says softly, “I knew you wouldn’t just give up on someone you loved.” Carmilla frowns and looks down at their intertwined hands.

“People our age don’t fall in love, Laura. Whatever I felt for Elle was just a childish crush. If I’d known what was good for her I would have stayed away,” Carmilla dismisses. Laura shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure that’s bullshit,” she says. Carmilla gives her a pointed look and rolls her eyes.

“Of course you do,” she mutters. Laura sighs and scoots closer.

“Just because we’re young doesn’t mean that what we feel isn’t real, Carmilla. Take Romeo and Juliet for example,” Laura starts.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Carmilla says, covering her face with her free hand.

“I’m not! Romeo and Juliet have some of the most beautiful scenes together. Sure, they both died and it was the most horrible awful mess ever, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other!”

“No it just means they were doomed from the very beginning. How romantic,” Carmilla deadpans.

“All I’m saying is that what you had wasn’t worthless, to you or Elle. Even if it was the reason your mother killed her, that was your mother. It’s not your fault that your mother is a crazy evil witch and it’s not your fault you fell in love either. It was not for nothing,” Laura explains. Carmilla stares at her, unimpressed.

“Whatever I felt for Elle, losing her wasn’t worth it,” Carmilla says quietly.

“I didn’t mean…” Laura trails off.

“Love is just another overrated emotion. All that crazy shit people do because they’re in love? It’s never worth it,” Carmilla says. All of a sudden Laura can’t feel anything but the pressure of Carmilla’s hand and her heart beating in her chest. Carmilla squints at her, not quite sure what the expression on her face is.

“If I fell in love, it’d be worth it to me,” Laura says. Carmilla licks her lips and looks away.

“Suit yourself, sweetheart.” Laura frowns, silently debating with herself if she should just call it a night. In the end her curiosity gets the best of her.

“Those other scars. You did that didn’t you?” she asks. Carmilla sighs and looks back up at the ceiling.

“Do me a favor and pretend you didn’t see that, okay?” Carmilla turns onto her side, half dragging Laura with her by their conjoined hands. Laura scoots farther onto the bed to compensate.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asks. Carmilla closes her eyes and shrugs.

“If you feel like it. I don’t particularly care,” she says. Her grip on Laura’s hand doesn’t loosen. If anything she pulls it closer to her chest. Laura smiles softly and strokes Carmilla’s hair. Carmilla sighs as the gentle touch begins to lull her to sleep. She knows she should be keeping her distance, but she just can’t bring herself to let Laura go.

“We’re going to figure this out,” Laura whispers, “The dean is never going to hurt anyone ever again, I promise.” Carmilla smiles despite herself. The small twitch of her lips doesn’t escape Laura either. She sighs softly.

She is so so screwed.


	10. Chapter 10

When Carmilla wakes up the next morning the sun is streaming through the window with a ferocity Silas hasn’t seen in months. Carmilla squints at the long sun patch on the floor in somewhat amused agony. That’s weird November weather for you. Always with the surprises.

She slowly moves each of her limbs, rolls onto her back, adjusts her jaw. She feels considerably better than she did the day before. A few bumps and bruises still send her mind whirling through her repertoire of expletives, but the numbing pain seems to be a thing of the past. It will take her a few weeks to be bruise free and generally flexible again, but it’s not like she hasn’t dealt with this before.

The periodic tapping of computer keys explains Laura’s empty bed. She’s sitting at her desk in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts that leave little to the imagination. Her eyes are glued to the screen, face scrunched up in concentration. Carmilla smiles. She could lay here all day and just watch Laura work. Might be nice, even. Just staying in bed, no responsibilities, no plan, no more goddamn heroics.

Too fucking bad she has to pee.

Laura doesn’t notice Carmilla moving around in bed primarily because she’s operating on about four hours of sleep. After Carmilla fell asleep, Laura had wandered through her nightly routine and collapsed into bed to do her last reading for lit. It’d been hard to concentrate with Carmilla fast asleep across the room. Laura kept stopping to check on her, to make sure she was still breathing and sleeping easily. She’d finally fallen asleep with her book on her lap at about two in the morning, only to be woken by her alarm at six. The night before had come rushing back and she’d leapt out of bed to hover over Carmilla uncertainly. She looked fine, but Laura couldn’t push the reality of their situation out of her head long enough to calm down.

Carmilla would have to go back to the Dean. She’d have to keep up appearances and pretend like Laura and her friends weren’t an imminent threat to the Dean’s operation. Her situation would not improve now that Laura knew the truth because Laura couldn’t help her.

Or could she?

Laura had gone to her computer and started sifting through all the information the internet could give her on abusive parents, self-harm, and anything else that looked even remotely related. When Carmilla wakes up three hours later, Laura is in the same spot, reading in rapt attention.

Carmilla takes a deep breath and sits up. Her ribs creek and she groans in annoyance. Laura whips around, eyes wide as she takes in the sight of Carmilla swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

“Hey! Hi. Good morning!” she exclaims. Carmilla flashes Laura a quick smile and slowly tries to stand. Her back is stiff and her legs are sore from walking back in the cold the day before, putting her slightly off balance as she attempts to accommodate her injuries.

“Whoa, okay,” Laura cringes, jumping up and grabbing Carmilla’s hands to steady her. Carmilla rolls her eyes but figures leaning on Laura isn’t the worst thing in the world. Laura’s soft and smells like the strawberry shampoo in the shower caddy and oh god what is happening to her she cannot have thoughts like this.

Laura looks up into Carmilla’s eyes and swallows hard. Jeez she hadn’t realized just how far she was getting into Carmilla’s space. She’s practically in Carmilla’s arms and though it’s nearly the same way they’d been standing the night before Laura can’t help but feel a little guilty. Carmilla has just been through something awful and here she is throwing herself at her without even realizing it.

“I’m fine,” Carmilla murmurs, her normal tone of snark melting into something low and soft, “No need to get all jumpy, sweetheart.” Laura’s chest tightens. Carmilla’s never called her that before. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to hear it again, preferably several times a day for as long as possible. Crap, she really does have a giant embarrassing crush on Carmilla.

“How’re you feeling?” she asks, ignoring the way her skin tingles where Carmilla’s fingers brush against the backs of her hands. Carmilla shrugs, trying her best to memorize the way Laura is looking at her like she’s the most important thing in the world. God, Laura probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing.

“As well as can be expected,” she replies finally. Laura nods.

“Good, that’s great,” she says, “Do you need anything?” Carmilla smirks and untangles her hands from Laura’s.

“Stop worrying, Laura,” she says, brushing past Laura to go to the bathroom. Laura watches her go, the door closing softly behind her. She’s not exactly sure what she’d been expecting. Of course Carmilla doesn’t need her help.

With a sigh, Laura drops back into her chair and continues to scroll through the information she’d looked up earlier. By the time Carmilla wanders back in a few minutes later Laura is once again captivated by the screen in front of her. Carmilla smiles and throws on a new set of clothes before sitting on the edge of her bed.

“You must be working on something pretty interesting,” she comments when Laura doesn’t even look over. Laura startles and then tries to act natural.

“Yeah. I mean. Just the usual. Y’know. Internet stuff,” Laura lies. Carmilla gives her a suspicious look and leans over to read what’s on her screen. The smile falls off her face.

“Seriously? I thought I told you to forget about that,” she growls.

“You did. I just… didn’t do that,” Laura says. Carmilla closes her eyes and counts to ten.

“Look, if you think we’re going to have some big long conversation about feelings-” she says.

“No! Of course not. I just…” Laura sighs, “I wanted to help and I know you can’t just disappear right now which means you’ll have to go back to the Dean and pretend that everything’s okay so I looked up some stuff to see if there was anything I could do to, y’know, make it easier for you.” Carmilla sits back on her bed, fingers gripping the edge tightly.

“I can handle my mother myself,” she mutters. Laura wheels herself backwards until she’s in front of Carmilla, reaching out for Carmilla’s hand without even thinking about it.

“I know you can, Carmilla. I just figured that dealing with all of this alone is… unnecessary? I mean, we’re friends right? So I did a few google searches. I wanted to understand what you’re going through so that if you do decide to confide in me I’ll know what to do. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to but…. I’m here if you do, okay?” she explains. Carmilla sighs and looks up at Laura. Laura smiles hopefully. Carmilla shakes her head and stands, moving over to the fridge to get a glass of water.

“If we talk about my cutting, does that mean we’re going to talk about your anxiety too, or am I the only one that has earned psychoanalysis?” she asks. Laura frowns.

“Anxiety? I’m not… I mean, sure I’m anxious students are being kidnapped! I was nearly kidnapped! It’s not like I’m always this…. this….”

“Jumpy? Forgetful? Wired? Yeah. You are. Ever since the day you moved in you’ve been a little ball of nerves,” Carmilla replies. Laura stares into space, frozen. No, she was fine. Things had always been this way. It’s just the way the world works.

Right?

“Oh come on, don’t make that face. It’s not like it’s some huge revelation, right? Now you just have a name for it,” Carmilla says.

“I’d just never thought about it before,” Laura mumbles. Carmilla shrugs.

“Plenty of people don’t,” she says. Laura nods, her mind still tumbling through the realization that the constant feeling of being on edge isn’t the norm.

“Hey, Laura. You’re okay,” Carmilla says, going back to sit beside her, “Lots of people deal with anxiety every day. You’re going to be all right.” Laura looks up, mortified terror shining from her wide eyes.

“I almost called my dad,” she whispers. Carmilla’s mouth falls open.

“Laura, if your dad knew what was happening here…”

“I know! He could be killed or… or worse,” she snaps, “But you were gone and I thought you were telling the dean what was going on and I didn’t know what else to do!” Laura jumps to her feet and starts pacing back and forth in the tiny room. Carmilla sighs. She really should not have brought this up.

“I mean, what are we going to do? You said it yourself, there’s no one who can help us. The police are on her side, we’re in the middle of nowhere. And I can’t stop! I can’t not help those kids. I keep having dreams about them wasting away somewhere and I know that I can do something,” she rants. Carmilla stands up and catches Laura by the shoulders, wincing as her muscles adjust to the new position. Laura stares up at her, breathing hard.

“Hey, hey, hey! You’re going to figure it out! It’s fine. Laura… You’re smart and stubborn and entirely too motivated to give up or walk out of here without a fight. Besides, you’ve got the gingers to back you up, remember? It’s going to be okay,” Carmilla assures her. Laura takes a deep breath and flexes her fingers.

“Really?” she asks, “you think we can do this?” Carmilla shrugs, a small smile playing at her lips.

“I think you can do this,” she confirms. Laura smiles and looks down at the floor.

“So, since we talked about me, does that mean we’re going to talk about you?” Carmilla frowns and takes a step back.

“It’s stupid,” she says, “ My mother already thinks I’m a weakling and I do not need other people added to that list.” Laura takes Carmilla’s hands again, damn is this becoming a thing they do, and squeezes reassuringly.

“I’d never think you’re weak,” she says, “I mean you’re kinda like the most badass person I know.” Carmilla bites her lip to keep her smile in check. Why did Laura have to be so sweet and honest? She was goddamn kryptonite or something. Carmilla takes a deep breath, her expression growing serious.

“It’s proof,” she admits quietly, “I walk around here and everyone just thinks that I’m the Dean’s bitchy daughter. No one thinks that I have a reason to keep my distance or that I might have issues because obviously my mother gives me whatever I want. Even she says it, that I have no right to be upset or emotional because I’m healthy. Fuck, sometimes I just want to rip this idiotic replacement out of my chest. If I hadn’t gotten it she never would have brought me here.” Carmilla’s hands tighten around Laura’s angrily. Her eyes are dark and her lips curl up into a snarl as she talks.

“You have every right to not be okay!” Laura exclaims, “Those people are assholes and have no idea what they’re talking about.” Carmilla smirks.

“Yeah, well, I usually don’t have a mark on me,” she says, gesturing to her eye, “Not the best day to have this conversation, but such is life. If the bullshit a person goes through isn’t physical most people just say it isn’t real. I tried to tell my tutor once. He laughed and said I was making things up. Nobody ever believes someone like me. People who are hurt have to have injuries, so I gave myself some.”

“But no one else can see them,” Laura says in confusion. Carmilla shrugs.

“Mother would punish me every day if she knew about it. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone I just… needed proof,” she explains.

“I know it probably doesn’t make much difference, but I believe you,” Laura says helpfully. Carmilla smiles and brushes Laura’s hair out of her face. Laura’s hand automatically falls to Carmilla’s hip even as Carmilla’s gently stops at the curve of her jaw. Laura’s eyes flick down to Carmilla’s slightly parted lips and back up to her face. Carmilla watches Laura’s eyes, warmth pooling in her belly. Shit.

A knock at the door breaks the moment and Lafontaine comes barging in. Carmilla and Laura spring apart. Carmilla winces and puts a hand over her ribs. Fucking gingers.

“Laura I think- Wait what the hell are YOU doing here?” they exclaim.

“I live here?” Carmilla retorts.

“Laura come on, we don’t know what she’s got planned,” Laf says, motioning for Laura to flee with them.

“Laf, it’s fine. Carmilla’s on our side. She didn’t tell the Dean anything,” Laura interjects, stepping between the two of them. Laf looks suspiciously from Laura to Carmilla and back again.

“So the black eye…?” they ask.

“My mother’s reward for my saving Laura the other night,” Carmilla says.

“Oh. Well. Way to take one for the team.”

“Didn’t have much of a choice,” Carmilla mutters. Laura shoots Carmilla a look and she falls silent. Fine, it’s not like she wants to fight with the science nerd.

“Anyway, what are you doing here?” Laura asks. Laf grins triumphantly.

“I think I figured out a way to get coded messages out over the school’s internet,” they say excitedly, “We can send proof that the Dean is kidnapping students to people who will actually care!” Laura brightens up instantly.

“That’s great!” she says.

“One problem,” Carmilla cuts in, “You don’t have any proof.” Laf and Laura frown at each other.

Well, shit.


	11. Chapter 11

The justice squad materializes in no time.

Laura is the only one willing to sit on Carmilla’s bed, no surprise there. The others still don’t seem too comfortable with her in the room, a fact that makes Carmilla smirk smugly at the ceiling as she lays on her back listening to Laura explain “their” (Carmilla’s)  situation in about as vague detail as she can. Laf is too busy rigging Laura’s computer to pay much attention, but Danny is glaring holes into the side of Carmilla’s head the size of dinner plates. Perry’s gaze is more wary, thoughtful even, but still accusatory in its own right.

“Okay, your computer is updated and ready to send out encrypted messages. Those crazy security measures your dad put on here are actually really hardcore,” Laf says, spinning in Laura’s chair to face the others.

“So now we just need something to send,” Laura sighs, “What about the student files with those creepy glow in the dark marks on them?” Carmilla snorts. Of course that’s how they’d found the club. No one will be smart enough to figure it out, he’d said, who looks at paperwork in the dark? God, if only she could hold this little piece of information over Will’s head forever her life would be complete.

“That only proves that there’s a connection between a bunch of students who have dropped out. We can’t just claim that a mark means they’ve been kidnapped,” Danny says.

“So we need to actually show them someone being kidnapped?” Laf asks.

“Lafontaine!” Perry chastises as Danny and Laura stare at them with wide eyes. Carmilla grins and rolls carefully onto her side. Things are finally getting interesting.

“What? It’s not like we’re going to get a confession and there’s no way I can rig up something to bug the Dean’s house. Bio major, remember? Just cause it’s science doesn’t mean I automatically have the mad skills to make it happen,” Laf reminds everyone.

“Well what does mistress of the snark suggest? She’s the one with all the inside knowledge,” Danny says. It sounds ten times more like an accusation than a statement but Carmilla simply shrugs.

“Actually, they have a point. Mother doesn’t keep records of her sales so there’s no devious paper trail to follow and the targets are kept so far underground the only evidence you’ll ever get that they exist is your suicide mission,” Carmilla yawns leisurely. Laura nearly falls off the bed turning to look at her.

“What do you mean? The missing freshman are still here?” she asks in surprise. Danny glares full force at Carmilla. She knew there was something that girl wasn’t telling them.

“I’m not really sure where, but as far as I know no one is auctioned off until the gala at the end of the term. Will takes care of all that. My duties tend to be more along the lines of making deals and mingling with the elite in order to showcase mother’s wares,” Carmilla explains.

“Must you talk like that?” Perry grimaces, her hands rising from her lap to gesture precisely the level of frustration she’s reached, “First people were missing and now there are auctions and wares, oh, next thing you know we’ll be neck deep in murder or international felonies!”

“Technically….” Carmilla begins. Laura gives her a look and Carmilla falls silent.

“What if we staged the whole thing?” Lafontaine suggests, “If Carmilla is the one handing the Dean targets then we can make the target whoever we want. We tape Will ‘kidnapping’ them and then intervene at the last second. By the time help gets here they’ll be too busy finding the other missing kids to realize the victim in the video never disappeared. That way no one gets kidnapped and we get our proof.” The room is silent for several moments as the others consider this plan. Carmilla turns back to the ceiling. Shit.

“You mean one of us has to volunteer?” Perry hisses. Lafontaine shrugs and looks to the others.

“Okay, I’ll admit that’s actually a pretty good idea,” Danny says finally. Laura squeezes Carmilla’s hand, ignoring the look she gets from Danny.

“She’ll totally help, right Carm?” Carmilla’s eyes flick up to Laura and then around the room.

“It’s too late, cupcake. Mother already has the rest of the names. If I gave her a new one now she’d be suspicious. Not to mention it would go to the end of the list. Not exactly the help you’re looking for,” she says. Laura’s face falls and Carmilla feels a sudden jolt of regret. She should have kept her mouth shut. If only she’d been able to hold out a little bit longer.

“Really?” Danny cuts in, “You just happen to have already given her all of the names for the next five weeks when you come clean to Laura?” Laura frowns, her hand tightening around Carmilla’s. Carmilla sits up and glares at Danny, sweeping her bangs behind her ear to showcase her still darkening eye.

“Well I didn’t really have a choice after I saved her life, did I? Too bad someone else hadn’t stepped in. Oh, wait, that’s right, you were too afraid of my brother’s goons to climb out of the trash,” she snarls. Laura rolls her eyes and shares a frustrated look with Lafontaine.

“Would you two knock it off? We’re all on the same side now,” Laura snaps. Danny and Carmilla look away from each other reluctantly. Laura sighs and turns back to Lafontaine and Perry, who appear to be the only other logical people in the room.

“So if we don’t go through with the plan five more people go missing and if we do go through with it we have to sit and watch someone get kidnapped. Fantastic,” she says bitterly.

“We’ll get them back when the feds or whatever show up. We’ve still got a month before the gala,” Lafontaine reasons.

“Or we could just kidnap them back once we have the video,” Danny suggests, her eyes lighting up, “We take the video, distract Will and his goons, and take whoever it is when they aren’t looking.” Lafontaine perks up at the mention of a distraction.

“We could blow up his van!” they say excitedly.

“That’s ridiculous why would you even suggest something like that,” Perry argues. Danny jumps to her feet and starts pacing.

“No it’s perfect! During the hunts with the summer society we’ll sometimes use noise grenades to scare the deer into running toward us. If we blow up Will’s van, his goons will scatter and in the confusion we can get everyone out of there. Bonus, Will no longer has a van to kidnap freshman with!” she exclaims. Perry scoffs and folds her arms.

“Have either of you even stopped to consider how dangerous this is? Why can’t we just make a video explaining our situation and send that? Then we wouldn’t have to go out in the dark and watch someone get kidnapped. Or blow things up. Or leave our nice safe dorm room. How about that? When was that option taken off the table?” Perry muses.

“It wouldn’t work, Perr. We need something that hits so hard they have no choice. If we just made a video explaining, they might not think our situation was urgent,” Laf explains gently. Laura cringes.

“Perry kind of has a point. The only reason I wasn’t unconscious was because I didn’t drink everything Will gave me. Whoever the target is won’t be able to protect themselves at all. What if Will gets them in the van before we blow it up? I mean, a video of a guy carrying a passed out girl towards destination unknown is going to prove even less than us just explaining documentary style!” Laura counters.

“Oh I wish we’d never gotten mixed up in this,” Perry moans. Laf places their hand gently on Perry’s knee. Perry takes hold of it immediately, her fingertips pressing between Laf’s knuckles in a practiced massaging motion. Laura watches them for a moment before her eyes dart over her shoulder at Carmilla. Carmilla and Danny are no longer looking at each other but at different spots on the ground. Carmilla meets Laura’s eyes and bites her lip.

“The drug Will uses to incapacitate the targets is dissolved in water and then secured inside a vial in the leather bracelet on his wrist. I could probably dilute it enough so that the next target doesn’t fall asleep. Then at least she’d have a chance at getting away, right?” Carmilla suggests. Laura’s eyes light up and she turns back to Lafontaine.

“And we get the video and the- wait it’s a girl?” Laura asks Carmilla. Carmilla nods.

“Sarah Jane. Third floor. Tall. Super smart. The usual upstanding qualities,” Carmilla confirms, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Laura.

“She’s going to be at the exhibit opening at the art museum friday,” Laf says, “I heard her talking about it in the lobby the other day.”

“We helped her carry a garish bookcase up the stairs on move-in day,” Perry recalls with a shudder.

“Good to know” Laura says with a glance at Carmilla. Carmilla shrugs. Bookcases aren’t generally a factor in choosing her mother’s victims.

“Is no one else seeing the glaringly obvious problem with this plan?” Danny asks in frustration. The others look at each other confusedly.

“No?” Lafontaine answers.

“The entire plan hinges on whether or not Carmilla, formally known as the ENEMY, can mess with her brother’s date rape drugs. Are we really going to trust her .5 seconds after she’s switched sides?” Danny growls, punctuating the end of her rant with air quotes. Carmilla nods along agreeably. Honestly, she doesn’t know why anyone is being so nice to her. Danny, she decides, is the only one who would survive a zombie apocalypse.

“Danny, trust me. Carmilla wants all of this to stop just as much as we do. There are things that her mother has done that…” Laura trails off and looks at Carmilla, “We can trust her, okay? She’s my friend and I believe her when she says she’ll help us.” Carmilla smiles softly at Laura before she can stop herself. She’s so far gone for this stupid freshman she’s smiling in front of other people. What next, breakfast in bed?

“You think that we’re safe just because you’re her friend? Laura, Elle was her girlfriend and she still went missing,” Danny snaps.

“Don’t you dare act like you have any idea what happened,” Carmilla hisses.

“Well I can probably make a pretty good guess. Did the dean sell her like the others or did you keep her for yourself?” Danny asks. Carmilla leaps to her feet.

“You have no idea what you’re dealing with, you over-grown brat,” Carmillla snarls.

“Maybe I want to find out,” Danny shoots back, balling up her fists like she’s getting ready for a fight. Laura dives between them. She can’t believe Danny would bring up Elle. How could she even look Carmilla in the eye right now and think she chose to help the Dean?

“Stop it. Danny that was totally uncalled for,” Laura says angrily, “Carmilla had nothing to do with what happened to Elle, not that you would know since you didn’t bother to ask!”

“Really? Are you actually going to tell me I’m wrong after what happened to all those other students?” Danny says incredulously.

“Short answer: Yes. Now does anybody else have any objections to the current plan?” Laura asks.

“Nope. In fact, I’m going to go work on building that explosive,” Lafontaine says.

“And I’m going to make sure they don’t destroy our room,” Perry adds. The couple hurries out at lightning speed. Laura waits until the door is closed to look back at Danny.

“You should probably go, too. I’ve got homework and we kinda had a long night last night,” she says pointedly. Danny glances between Laura and Carmilla.

“Yeah, of course. Can I just talk to you in the hall for a second?” she asks tightly. Laura sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

“Fine. I’ll be right back,” she says to Carmilla. Carmilla shrugs and walks into the kitchenette for some water. Laura follows Danny out into the hall and closes the door behind them. They stand there awkwardly for a moment, neither sure what to say.

“So… you and Carmilla?” Danny asks. Laura closes her eyes and shakes her head.

“Nothing’s going on between Carmilla and I,” she says. Danny nods, tucking her hands into her pockets and looking at the space on the worn floorboards between her feet.

“So nothing’s happened… yet,” she says softly.

“Carmilla and I are never going to be a thing, Danny. She’s dealing with a lot of stuff right now and dating is honestly the last thing she’s thinking about. I know you want to be concerned because I’m the tiny naive freshman. I get it. But Carmilla isn’t a threat. She never was,” Laura explains gently.

“So you don’t think she has feelings for you?” Danny asks. Laura laughs.

“Of course not. We’re from completely different worlds. I’m just her annoying younger roommate with no real life experience and a bad cookie habit. Someone like Carmilla would never fall for someone like me,” she says, just barely keeping the bitter edge from her voice.

“You fell for her despite all those completely irrelevant facts, right? Why can’t she?” Danny asks helpfully.

“Because that’s not the same! Carmilla is strong and smart and so passionate when she cares about something. She’s amazing, Danny. I never thought I could feel this way for someone like her, but it happened. Now I just have to live with it,” Laura says. Danny nods knowingly and pats Laura on the shoulder. Anyone with eyes can see the way Carmilla looks at Laura, but Danny figures Laura will figure that out eventually.

“You’re going to figure it out, frosh,” she promises. Laura smiles tightly and waves as Danny walks away.

On the other side of the door, Carmilla stands with her hand over her mouth. The doorknob turns and she leaps back to her side of the room. Laura looks at her strangely when she comes in and Carmilla quickly schools her features. Laura cannot know she was listening.

“How are you feeling?” Laura asks suspiciously. Hopefully Carmilla didn’t take what Danny said to heart.

“Fine. Takes more than a little shit-talking to get to me,” Carmilly responds gruffly. Laura takes a step towards Carmilla’s bed and Carmilla immediately tenses up.

“You know you can talk to me, right? I mean not necessarily now but just in the future if you need someone to talk to, I’m totally ready to listen,” Laura says nervously. She’s not sure exactly if this is what she’s supposed to do, or if maybe she should ask Carmilla out right about coping methods and what will happen when she inevitably has to go back to the mansion. Carmilla probably knows all about the stuff she found on the internet anyway. Carmilla has been doing this a lot longer than Laura for sure.

“Don’t worry, creampuff. I’m not about to go off the deep end and leave you all the credit for dealing with my mother,” Carmilla replies. It’s the closest she can get to being honest, to saying that she doesn’t feel like the world is collapsing all around her anymore. Laura nods and wanders over to her computer. Suddenly it’s just like every other day they’ve spent together in their room for the past few weeks. It’s so mundane and normal that Carmilla almost breaks right then and there. Instead she bites her lip and digs out an old book.

Things between them can’t progress any farther than they already have, she decides.

Laura deserves so much better.

The week passes in a blur of half-assed assignments and secret preparations. Lafontaine manages to only set one fire and Danny does what little recon she can on the ins and outs of the gallery opening. Laura preps her camera equipment, a throwback to christmas senior year, and then she preps it again. Not a single part of the plan can go wrong if they’re going to succeed. Wiggle room - Zero.

Laura and Carmilla’s newfound physical closeness becomes a source of some confusion Wednesday night when Laura invites Carmilla over to her bed to watch old horror movies. Carmilla agrees but when she takes up her spot next to Laura something feels off. The warm vibe Laura is used to getting from Carmilla isn’t really there. In fact, things between them feel achingly platonic.

When Laura eventually leans her head on Carmilla’s shoulder and links their fingers together, the only indication Carmilla even notices is her fingers curling ever so slightly around Laura’s hand. Laura decides it must be because she’s worried about Friday and tries to do everything she can think to help her relax. Nothing really works, and when Friday morning rolls around Laura has all but given up. It’s kinda too late to do anything about it now.

Carmilla, on the other hand, is trying her best to remain neutral. Every time Laura touches her or even accidentally brushes by her in their small shared space, she reacts as naturally as she can. She doesn’t completely stop touching Laura because that would definitely be noticed, but she steers clear of any moments that could end in long soulful stares and romantically charged interactions. It’s harder than she thought it would be, but still better than the alternative. She still needs to leave at the end of the year. Allowing herself to fully succumb to Laura’s seductions would only make the separation a righteous pain in the ass.

Not that it’s not already going to suck. Laura is her first friend in years.

Carmilla finishes fixing her hair in the mirror on the armoire door and adjusts her dress for the billionth time. Laura is in the bathroom putting on her “mission clothes.” Will already knows her face, so it’s even more important for her to stay hidden. Carmilla won’t even have the pleasure of watching, having to keep up appearances as a willing participant of her Mother’s illegal activity. It makes her skin crawl to think of Laura out there by herself but really what can she do about it. She knows Laura can take care of herself. She’ll just have to threaten the universe with something particularly violent to keep it that way.

Laura stares at herself in the mirror for a long time before she finally opens the door and goes to collect her bag. She stares at Carmilla’s slight frame as she moves across the room. She’s so gorgeous it’s kind of impossible not to. Carmilla turns and catches Laura looking at her, smirking slightly when she realizes what Laura is wearing.

“That’s my shirt,” she comments. Laura blushes and tugs at the hem. She’s in black jeans and one of Carmilla’s band shirts under her black fleece and a black scarf.

“I only own one black shirt and I couldn’t find it,” she admits. Carmilla snorts and shrugs.

“Don’t worry. I have more where that came from,” she reassures Laura. Carmilla moves to her bed and throws her compact and a few other things into a small purse that she slings over her shoulder. Laura picks up her backpack and fits it snugly over her shoulders. When they turn back to each other, each of them is prepared for the most daring night of their lives

“Guess this is it, cutie. You keep those idiotic gingers in line out there. I don’t want all my valiant efforts going to waste,” Carmilla jokes. Something catches in Laura’s throat and all of sudden she’s flinging herself into Carmilla’s arms and holding on tight.

“You better not get caught,” she says into Carmilla’s shoulder. Carmilla smiles softly and let’s her arms circle Laura’s waist.

“William is incompetent. I’ll hardly have to lift a finger,” she promises against Laura’s hair. Fuck the rules. One moment can’t hurt. Especially since it could be the last moment, in the event they get caught. She can let herself have this one thing. She can let Laura have this one thing. It is only one thing.

Laura tries to pour all of her compassion into the hug. If she knows Carmilla even a little bit, she’ll need it. So what if it doesn’t mean the same to Carmilla as it does to her? It’s the thought that counts, right? When this is all over and they go their separate ways, this moment will fade until neither of them can really remember it anyway.

“I’ll see you on the other side,” Carmilla says as they step away from each other.

“You certainly will,” Laura replies.

As the door closes between them, they realize that it is neither one thing nor forgettable. There is no going back anymore. They are doomed.

The art museum is on the south side of campus at the very edge of the school’s  property. There’s no alley, just a road on the side of the building that goes until the end of the building and then turns up the hill into the woods. There isn’t even a fence indicating that the forest is private property rather than part of campus. They’d decided earlier in the week to meet behind the art museum in the campus community garden, just to be safe.

Laura arrives at the meet up point five minutes late because she’d waited to leave until Carmilla had definitely cleared the parking lot. It feels strange, putting effort into not being seen together outside of their dorm room. Laf raises an eyebrow at her but doesn’t bother asking. Perry is so tense she might shatter at a single touch and Danny looks focused to the point of murder. This is not the time.

“I found a service road when I was scouting. It’s kinda in the back and leads out to the main road. If I was going to park a getaway van that’s where I would do it,” Danny informs them.

“They’ll probably pull up to the back door when Will gives them the signal. Danny and I are going to wait by the road to plant the explosive and then make our way back over here so that when they pull up we’re in range to detonate. Remember, this thing is huge. When it goes off chances are anyone in the blast radius is going to get knocked flat on their asses. Laura, find somewhere in the middle where you can film all the action. Perry, you’re look out. Go to the top of the hill and if you see anyone coming toward us, do your ambulance impression,” Lafontaine directs.

“Why do you get to be in charge?” Danny asks. Lafontaine holds up the backpack that’s been sitting in the shadows at their feet.

“Because I’m the one holding the bomb.”

Perry, Lafontaine, and Danny head toward the woods and Laura heads toward the bushes planted along the side of the building. It’s a good thing she’s small or else she’d never be able to fit between the brick wall and the thick foliage. She finds a spot where she can clearly see the door out of the building and the main road on her camera screen at the same time and hunkers down. Hopefully she won’t have to sit out in the cold for too long, she thinks as she pulls the hood on her jacket up over her her hair and pulls the scarf across her nose and mouth.

Thankfully the cold has only partially seeped into her bones when she finally spots Will and his friends walking down the road towards the museum. They’re laughing and pushing each other, talking loudly as if the whole world deserves to hear them. Will stops them when they finally near the door.

“Okay, you know the plan. Cover me while I get the girl, then Brad you’re on van duty. It’s parked kinda far this time so you’ll need to run. Let’s get it done, boys!” The others cheer and one by one disappear into the gallery. Laura waits until the door has closed before shuddering in disgust. She hopes Lafontaines bomb totals the van.

About ten minutes later she see’s a flash of red at the top of the hill and three dark shapes move through the trees. The tallest ducks behind a tree and the other two disappear behind a row of bushes at the side of the road. Good. That means the bomb is planted and everyone is in position. Laura pulls out her camera and aims it at the back door. Come on Will, show us what you’re made of.

By the time the back door opens again, Laura’s hand is cramping around her camera. It’s Brad, the guy Will had addressed earlier. Laura sits up and hits record. Brad looks both ways and then shoves his hands into his pockets as he walks back down the road. A couple minutes later a pair of headlights sweep around the bend. He pulls around so the van is facing back toward the forest and parks on the other side of the door from Laura. Perfect.

The door bangs open loudly and the other boys come tumbling out. The sustain the facade until Will appears, a pretty brunette draped over his arm. She’s stumbling and muttering something under her breath. Will’s mouth forms a frustrated frown as he tries to maneuver her towards the van. She swats at him and tries to pull away. The others share confused and apprehensive looks.

“What’s wrong? Why isn’t she out?” one of them asks. Will glares at him.

“Stop talking about our friend that way,” he hisses, “She just wants to take a ride with us, don’t you Sarah Jane?”

“No, don’t wanna…” Sarah Jane moans deliriously. Will growls and turns toward the van, giving Laura nothing but a shot of his back. Shit. Laura wiggles forward to try and get a better angle. No one is facing her anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to just slip into the shadows a little bit closer. The bomb is going to go off soon anyway. Laura inches forward until she’s almost completely out of the bushes. Just a little bit closer…

“Hey, who the fuck are you?” A startled voice says beside her. Another guy steps from the shadows. Laura swallows and steps backward slowly. Shit.

A crack cuts through the air followed by a boom so loud it rocks the earth. Ten foot flames leap from the back of Will’s van, illuminating the night in red and gold. Laura is knocked backwards, the air punched out of her lungs. Two of Will’s cronies scramble up and run, hands over their ears. Laura blinks. The ringing in her head makes it hard to focus and the next thing she knows Will is crawling towards her.

In the background, Laf and Danny have jumped out of hiding and are fighting their way towards Sarah Jane. Perry manages to grab the attention of several bad boys and takes off running towards the woods. Laura scrambles up but Will is faster, his hand clamping down on her wrist as they struggle over the camera.

He manages to wrestle it away from her, but isn’t expecting Laura to rear back and punch him straight in the nose with her free hand. It stings and she thinks that maybe her knuckles are bruised but at least Will goes stumbling back. The camera flies from his hands and smashes into pieces on the pavement. Laura dives for it, trying desperately to get the memory card. Will kicks it away and advances back toward her. Shit shit shit.

Somewhere in the distance there’s screaming and shouting as people pour out of the Art museum to investigate the explosion. They’re probably being evacuated, Laura thinks, the whole art department is going to witness my murder.

Laura looks desperately for a way out. Danny is caught up fending off two big guys on her own and Lafontaine is keeping another one at bay with a wayward trashcan lid. Perry is running back, the two on her tail slowly losing her. Sarah Jane is stumbling away as fast as she can, calling for help as she tries to find her way. Stumbling toward the road, toward the sirens of the fire truck, toward the light-

There’s the screech of tires and a hollow sound like bone meeting cement and a body flying through the air illuminated by the streetlight at the main road. Laura screams and takes off towards the road. Will, his eyes wide, yells for his guys and takes off in the other direction.

All of a sudden Laura is being yanked into a tiny crevice in the side of the museum where the lobby juts out from the rest of the gallery. A warm hand presses against her mouth as she struggles to get away and then Carmilla’s face comes out of the shadows and she’s gritting her teeth and shoving Laura against the wall with all her weight.

“Stop, Laura. It’s too late!” she hisses. Laura shakes her head and tears at Carmilla’s coat and her arms. She has to help Sarah Jane. She has to save her. She tries to bite Carmilla’s hand but Carmilla just presses harder.

“If you go out there everyone will know who you are and Will finds out through the grapevine. You need to stop! Sarah Jane is gone.” Laura whines and shakes her head again. She can’t be dead. She can’t be! Carmilla sighs and leans her forehead against Laura’s.

“I’m sorry, cupcake. There’s no way she survived that. I saw the whole thing,” she whispers softly. Laura let’s out a broken sob, her hands fisting into Carmilla’s shirt and tugging her closer. Carmilla removes her hand from Laura’s mouth and Laura immediately shoves her face into Carmilla’s neck. She doesn’t want to look. She doesn’t want to see what they’ve done. Maybe if she gets close enough Carmilla will block everything out. She can pretend that they’re still in their room with a laptop between them and Carmilla smells like vanilla because she’s just showered and nothing will ever ever hurt again.

Carmilla brings her hand to the back of Laura’s head and gently strokes her hair. The gingers were seemingly smart enough to duck back into the forest. She can see Lafontaine around the side of a tree watching them. Danny is probably watching them as well which is just what she needs of course. Fuck things could not possibly have gone anymore wrong. She’d known the second she heard the explosion. By the time she’d made it out of the mob inside it’d been too late.

Carmilla checks to see if the coast is clear and gestures for the others to head back towards the garden. Laura comes easily, tucked under Carmilla’s arm. She stays curved in towards Carmilla the whole walk, her hand underneath Carmilla’s coat holding on to Carmilla’s opposite hip. Carmilla doesn’t say anything, just leads them away from the wreckage like smoke in the night, spirited away without a trace.


	12. Chapter 12

Pale blue darkness. Not entirely shapeless, not entirely without the lines of a street lamp and the suggestion of a curb at her heels. Laura blinks and the darkness wavers. A tremor whistles up her spine. Somehow she can still see, as if the darkness is an actual entity instead of the lack of light. It is a presence.

It is bigger than her.

Slowly things begin to emerge from the haze. A storefront, an alley, the steps of the art museum. Oh no, she thinks, no no no.

A dotted yellow line appears beneath her feet. Laura looks down at it, mesmerized. An ear-shattering hooooooooonk jolts her back and she’s staring into bright white headlights followed closely by the horn and her legs just won’t move because nothing can ever ever go right.

Laura closes her eyes and screams.

Laura? Something firm grips her shoulder and she’s flying awake, shooting straight up in bed like a loosed arrow.

“Laura, hey, it’s okay!” Carmilla says from beside her. There’s an arm across her chest and a hand in her hair gently keeping her upright as she breathes and breathes and breathes.

“I was there again. The car…” Laura swallows and her throat burns. “I just can’t get that moment out of my head.”

“Watching someone die can be a real bitch,” Carmilla says. It’s a quiet declaration, straight and honest. Laura sighs and wraps her shaking fingers around Carmilla’s wrist. Carmilla’s hand is still on the back of her head and she leans into it ever so slightly as she turns to look at Carmilla in the dark. Carmilla flashes a sad smile and tucks Laura’s messy hair behind her ear. Three nights. Three nights of dreams that woke her screaming, and every time Carmilla was there to make sure she was alright.

“Did I wake you up?” Laura asks, even though she knows the answer will be the same as the previous two.

“Nope. I was just coming back. Haven’t even changed for bed yet,” Carmilla replies. Laura nods, her fingers absentmindedly stroking the inside of Carmilla’s wrist.

“You should probably get on that, huh? It’s like... wow. It’s four am,” Laura realizes with a glance at her clock. Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“I can feel your heartbeat through my arm, sweetheart. If you need another minute…” she offers.

“No, no, I’m…. fine. I should probably go back to bed. After all, I have class in six hours,” she says bitterly. Carmilla nods and stands up, her arms slipping off Laura’s shoulders as she stretches.

“Don’t wait up,” she yawns as she disappears into the bathroom. Laura sighs and falls back into bed, the places Carmilla touched her skin tingling and warm. Her chest is still tight with fear and a deep sadness she can’t figure out how to shake. She hadn’t even cried, not the first night when they returned or at any point after that. It’s like whatever she’s feeling is beyond that.

In the bathroom, Carmilla gets ready for bed as quickly as she can, carefully keeping an ear out for Laura in case she has another nightmare. She should have known better than to let those amateurs build a bomb. Why was she even encouraging them? She knew better than anyone what could happen if something went wrong. Of course the girl was going to stumble into traffic with no one watching her. If Carmilla had diluted Will’s secret stash anymore than she had, he would’ve jumped ship before he even got to the alley.

Which doesn’t change the fact that technically it’s her fault. Sarah Jane could have survived being drugged just a smidge more and Will is too hard-headed to give up that easily so really, in the grand scheme of things, Carmilla is the one who put the magic number of water droplets in the fountain of doom and fucked everything up.

And now Laura has nightmares that Carmilla can’t seem to help her through and the entire campus is going haywire over the accident. Some help she is.

With her routine complete, Carmilla walks back into the bedroom and starts throwing the random crap that’s accumulated on her bed to the floor. Laura is facing the wall, her back a rigid slope in the dark. It’s painfully obvious that she’s pretending to be asleep, considering her shoulder twitches each time Carmilla shoves more crap off her bed. Carmilla grimaces. She can’t just leave Laura to fend for herself, not when she’s the one who got them into this mess.

Really, who is she kidding. Carmilla wants to protect Laura from everything she possibly can and if that includes nightmares then so be it.

She’s standing over Laura’s bed in two steps. Laura, to her credit, attempts to keep up the charade. Carmilla lifts the covers and slips beneath them, nudging Laura farther toward the wall.

“Scoot over, Laura, you’re not fooling anyone with your awful performance,” Carmilla grunts as she wedges herself onto the bed. Laura sighs and rolls over, allowing Carmilla to lay down beside her.

“You don’t have to take care of me Carm, I’m fine,” she protests. Carmilla opens her arms and raises an eyebrow at her. Laura scrunches up her face in frustration. She doesn’t want to bother Carmilla, but if she’s offering free cuddle time, well, how is Laura supposed to resist that? Especially when she feels like shit and a hug could basically turn her whole night around. One really long hug. Like, hours long.

Anything to dull the stupid tragic ache in her heart.

“Okay. Five minutes,” she agrees. Carmilla smirks triumphantly and they curl up together, Carmilla’s arms wrapped around Laura’s shoulder and Laura’s arm thrown over Carmilla’s waist. Laura feels relieved the second her head lands on Carmilla’s shoulder. The world doesn’t seem to be turning so fast with someone holding her in place.

“You feel like sleeping?” Carmilla drawls.

“If only,” Laura snorts, “I’ve never been more awake in my life. That dream is seriously the worst.” Carmilla frowns and pulls Laura closer.

“Do you want to take about it, or whatever?” she asks. Honestly she’s exhausted but if Laura’s awake there’s no way she’s going to fall asleep. Laura re-adjusts for the ninth time in five seconds and shrugs.

“I mean it’s just the same thing, y’know? There’s kinda nothing left to talk about. I’ve been talking about it since it happened and nothing has changed!” she exclaims. Carmilla nods. Her dreams about Elle had been rather similar.

“I guess we’ll just sit here in silence then,” she replies sarcastically. It’s meant as a joke but she’s so tired it probably doesn’t come across as one. Laura can already feel the cold seeping past Carmilla’s arms and back into her skin.

“What about a distraction?” she asks. Carmilla shrugs and closes her eyes. Maybe Laura’s rambling will lull her to sleep. Laura just barely resists the urge to stroke Carmilla’s face. Her jaw is clenched and her muscles are tight and all Laura wants to do is smooth it all out and make it okay.

“What are you going to do when you leave?” Laura asks. Carmilla cracks one eye open. What kind of question was that?

“I’m going to find some place to live and get a job,” she replies, “What else would I do?” Laura sighs and pulls back a bit.

“Obviously those are on the list. I meant like, what kind of place? What kind of job? What color do you want your room to be?” she clarifies.

“Why is this suddenly an interesting topic of conversation?” Carmilla grumbles. Laura pouts and snuggles closer.

“Come on, don’t be a sourpuss! I’m probably not going to see it so…. describe it to me!” Laura demands. Carmilla groans and opens her eye. She stares at Laura for a moment.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” she admits quietly. Laura gapes at her in stunned silence.

“How can you not have thought about it? Haven’t you been planning your escape for like three years?” Laura asks. Carmilla looks away, her expression worsening.

“I’m going to be a recent college graduate with no skills and no references, Laura. I’m going to take whatever job I can get and live wherever I can afford to. Hell, I might not even buy real furniture. I mean, what’s the point? It’s not like I’ll have anyone over or use it on a regular basis.”

“I mean, yeah, of course you’re gonna do whatever you can to survive. But haven’t you ever wanted to just imagine what life could be like? Who knows, maybe all your dreams will actually come true,” Laura coaxes. Carmilla sighs.

“Dreams don’t come true for people like me. That’s just how the world works, okay?” Carmilla says. Laura frowns. People like her?

“Carmilla, you aren’t a bad person. You’re just… in a really shitty situation. And yeah, okay, maybe you haven’t exactly been the best room mate at all and maybe there are some things you do that are just…. not okay, but underneath all that you really do care. You’ve been here for me every day since the accident. If that’s not good then I don’t know what is,” Laura argues. Carmilla bites her lip. Because of course she has no ulterior motives for staying close to Laura. None. At. All.

“It doesn’t really matter in the long run, y’know? A place to call my own is more than enough,” Carmilla says instead.

“Which is exactly why you should make it your own!” Laura urges, “Here, how about I help you with the basics?” Carmilla rolls her eyes even as she smiles. Alrighty then, butterflies.

“Knock yourself out,” she whispers. Laura squeals and rolls onto her back.

“Okay, If this dorm room is any indication then you are totally an apartment person. Having a house would probably just make you more pissed off than you already usually are, if we take into consideration yard work and household chores,” Laura begins. Carmilla snorts and turns to face the ceiling as well. This is going to be good.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess and say….. one of those weird old apartment buildings that’s supposed to look classy but isn’t always maintained, if you know what I mean? With the wrought-iron fence and other creepy crawly things just waiting in the rafters for some poor unsuspecting soul.”

“Pleasant,” Carmilla snickers. Laura grins.

“Well it’s not like you’d actually adopt a pet, right?”

“Fair enough.” Laura giggles and adjusts so that she can have both hands free.

“You’d definitely be in the attic, like, as far away from the ‘idiot neighbors’ as possible, and you’d have this weird sloped roof but somehow you’d figure out a way to make it classy and elegant. You’d also totally have nine couches or something because you like to lay around so much,” she continues, demonstrating the shapes with her hands. Carmilla scoffs, though she keeps her eyes trained on the way Laura draws the dream with her arms outstretched above them. Only Laura, she thinks.

“What about the bedroom?” she asks. Laura blushes slightly but manages to keep her composure. The suffocating feeling of death is fading away, gliding across her skin as she paints herself a picture.

“Well, I was going to talk about how you have nothing but leftovers in your fridge…..”

“Oh come on, skip the obvious parts,” Carmilla groans.

“Right. Okay. I feel like you’d want to paint it black but then realize how impractical that would be considering all the stuff you put ON the walls is black, so you’d go with a nice deep purple or something. Not red, cause that’s an accent color and you aren’t a “heathen” or anything of course. So purple, I think?” Laura asks. They’re looking at each other across the pillow, practically nose to nose. Laura swallows and tries to think of something to add but Carmilla’s half-lidded eyes are sucking the air right out of her lungs.

“Probably. Couldn’t use green. That would send a completely inaccurate message. Plus it wouldn’t go with an antique bedframe,” Carmilla concedes with a smirk. Laura giggles and goes back to her ceiling drawing. Carmilla is entranced by the images unfolding from Laura’s hands. Sure, they aren’t that detailed or fantastical, but somehow she can see what Laura is getting at. She’s going to have a life all her own. She can’t just hole up somewhere. She can’t just hide. She needs to live. Work. Have friends.

All things she’d sort of understood, but never exactly considered until Laura came tumbling into her life.

“Oooooooh, I’ve got it. A library. Or a bookstore! You would so work in a bookstore! But not a big one. One of those mom and pop stores with the cool nooks and the ancient credit card reader. And you’d go out to little independent cafes all the time. Maybe take a walk in the park nearby to look at the stars…” Laura trails off.

“Sounds like an amazing life,” Carmilla says. Laura grins and drops her hands to her stomach.

“It’s going to be awesome. I would definitely visit you all the time just for how awesome it is,” she agrees.

“Gee thanks,” Carmilla mutters. Laura rolls her eyes.

“Oh quiet. Obviously I’d want to see you too!” Carmilla swallows the lump in her throat and rolls to face Laura.

“Obviously, huh?” It comes out more serious than she intends it. Everything is, lately.

“Don’t pretend you wouldn’t want to see me. I’m like, your only friend,” Laura teases. Carmilla bites her lip and fiddles with the comforter.

“Yeah. Definitely,” she says. Laura’s smile wavers.

“We can’t be in contact with each other, can we?” she asks. Carmilla shrugs and closes her eyes.

“Mother will be looking for me. She knows you’re my room mate. Unfortunately two plus two still equals four. No matter where I go,” she whispers.

“But if we stop her then it won’t matter, right? She’ll go to jail and we’ll be able to do whatever we want,” Laura insists.

“If we stop her,” Carmilla sighs. Laura frowns and wiggles her way back into Carmilla’s arms, snaking her own around Carmilla’s waist as she lays her head on Carmilla’s chest.

“When we stop her,” Laura proclaims quietly. The only response she receives is Carmilla pulling her closer. Laura closes her eyes and wishes as hard as she can for things to work out.

When Laura wakes up the next morning she realizes that at some point during the night she and Carmilla had entirely switched places.

As in, Carmilla is sprawled over her in such a haphazard way that Laura isn’t sure she can move, let alone get out of bed to make it to class on time.

Strange as the weight is on top of her, Laura can’t quite call it uncomfortable. Carmilla’s face is pressed into her neck and Carmilla’s leg is thrown over her hips, one arm curled still around Laura’s ribcage and the other twisted around behind her where somehow by some unbelievable circumstance they are holding hands. So maybe it’s not uncomfortable because all of her limbs have gone numb, but if Laura gets to wake up with Carmilla warm and heavy and real on top of her then that’s a win in her book.

She glances at the clock and scrunches her face up. Shit. Class starts in just barely forty-five minutes and she has literally zero motivation to do anything but lay in bed and run her hands through Carmilla’s soft curls. She does exactly that as she contemplates the pros and cons of going to class, eyes half shut and humming quietly to herself. On the one hand it’s nearly finals.

“Carmilla?” Laura whispers. Carmilla stretches in her sleep and snuggles farther into Laura.

“Carmilla! Rise and shine grumpy cat!” Laura sings softly. Carmilla’s eyes flutter open and she blinks. She glances up at Laura and then back at the chest rising and falling steadily in front of her. Oh fuck.

She rolls off Laura and rubs her palms into her eyes to try and remove the image making her heart beat forty times faster than normal. Dammit she never should have stayed in Laura’s bed. The last thing she needs is to get even more attached than she already is. If she can’t get away because doing so would mean leaving Laura behind…. god she’d never be that stupid again.

“Sorry. I just need to go to class. You can go back to sleep,” Laura says. Carmilla shakes her head and takes a deep breath.

“It’s fine.” Laura nods and throws the blankets off. She throws one leg over Carmilla and onto the floor. Carmilla blows hot air through her nose and prays that Laura will move before she has no choice but to reach up and grab those hips. She only straddles Carmilla for two seconds before throwing the other leg over and stretching next to the bed.

Laura yawns and raises her arms above her head, watching Carmilla lay in her bed with her hair mussed and her cheeks pink with sleep. Her heart swells with a sudden warmth she can’t tamp down as she thinks of Carmilla staying with her for most of the night to keep the nightmares away.

With a happy little hum she leans over and kisses Carmilla on the forehead.

“Thanks, Carm,” she says, scampering away to the bathroom. Carmilla stares at the ceiling, eyes wide. That did not just happen.

On the other side of the door, Laura stares into the mirror and promises herself it won’t happen again.

When Laura comes back in Carmilla has already fallen back to sleep. Laura pauses to drag the covers up over Carmilla’s shoulders and then grabs her backpack on her way out. She has got to stop falling for Carmilla. Crushes are easy, middle school stuff, but this is starting to feel different. More permanent.

She still doesn’t even know that much about Carmilla, still has only really known her for two and a half months, most of which they were enemies for. She can’t just… give herself over to these stupid feelings. That would be irresponsible and futile.

She’s halfway across the quad when something hits her back. Laf appears at her side, dragging her off into one of the weird outdoor hallways between the art building and the dining hall. They haven’t had a real conversation since the bomb went off, not since they all decided it was better to lay low for a while. Laura breathes in relief and ushers them even farther into a private corner.

“I don’t have a single good idea,” she sighs. Laf frown and runs their hands through their hair.

“I’m drawing a blank. That footage was the only thing we had going for us,” they groan.

“We have to think of something. If we don’t get the Dean all those girls are going to be sold. They’ve only got four more weeks. Plus, Carmilla thinks it’s too dangerous to keep in touch after she leaves next term and I’m really worried something awful is going to happen to her. She doesn’t know how to survive out there!” Laura hisses.

“Hey!” a familiar voice shouts. Laura and Laf whip around and cringe at the sight of Danny stomping towards them.

“Keep your voice down!” Laf insists. Danny stops with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.

“You really thought I wasn’t going to catch the two of you plotting eventually? Can you not see that this is a bad idea. A girl was killed!” Danny chastises.

“Which is exactly why we can’t stop now. SJ deserves more than that!” Laf exclaims.

“If we don’t stop the Dean then all those freshmen disappear for good, Danny. Please,” Laura says.

“Why can’t Carmilla just spill the beans to the feds or whatever?” Danny asks. Laura grimaces and twists her hands together.

“Carmilla isn’t exactly… documented anywhere. She has no history of school or a life and if she goes to the authorities she’s afraid she’s going to get locked up for helping the Dean and then she really will have no chance of making a better life for herself. We can’t force her to ruin everything she’s worked for and even if we could how is that fair? It’s not her fault she has the information,” Laura explains.

“It isn’t those kids fault either. Do you even have another option?” Danny argues. Laf and Laura look at each other. Okay, so Danny has a valid point.

“Look, if you aren’t going to lay low then neither am I, but if we don’t have a better plan by Friday, then Carmilla needs to tell someone what is going on. Like, a detailed explanation. We can get her a bus ticket, whatever. A college degree isn’t the only thing that matters in life,” Danny says.

“I have a feeling that Carmilla isn’t just going to follow our instructions and turn herself in, but fair enough,” Laf says. Laura sighs.

“Whatever. We’ll find another way.” She hurries off for class, away from the memories and the impending doom she can see hanging in the horizon. Not today, Disaster. Not today.

Carmilla eventually drags herself out of Laura’s bed on the principle that she can only smell so much of Laura on her pillow before her brain turns to jell-o. Mother isn’t expecting her until three, but her philosophy class is cancelled. Carmilla figures if she can get her chores done early maybe she can be back in time to catch Laura before she has a nightmare.

Shit she really is going soft.

Carmilla tries not to think about that little fact as she’s putting away the accounting books in the Dean’s office. She’s just finished dusting everything and tallying the number of RSVP’s they have for the ball (too many) when the Dean comes flying in with a phone pressed to her ear.

“I don’t know what you should tell them! That girl was hit by a car and if there was anything in her system then we don’t know where she got it. Say that the college is investigating. Say YOU are investigating. When are you going to figure out you don’t actually have to follow through with these things?” she snaps into the receiver. Carmilla backs up to the wall as the Dean hurries around the office, coat thrown over her chair and purse launched in the general direction of the floor. In the commotion she sets a flash drive on her desk.

“Just say you’ll investigate! I don’t understand why this is difficult! No of course my son isn’t being punished for this! He had nothing to do with those crazy people who attacked him. Who, by the way, you should be searching for!” As quickly as she came, the Dean is back out again, voice floating down the hall to the conference room.

Carmilla leaps forward and plugs the USB into the computer. She scans the files with increasing excitement. Holy shit. It’s everything the Dean always said she didn’t write down. Business deals. Private Emails. Pictures. Fuck, pictures.

There’s a banging in the hall. Carmilla rips the USB out of the computer and sets it back on the desk. By the time the Dean stomps back in, Carmilla is across the room arranging the books on the bookcase. She always thought it was a tedious task, but if it serves to save her hide, she’ll reconsider.

The Dean furrows her brow at the USB on the desk and tucks it into the top drawer. She locks the drawer and looks up, her eyebrows shooting up at the sight of Carmilla.

“What are you doing here? It’s only one,” she snaps. Carmilla shrinks away, traitorous heart beating away in her chest.

“I thought I’d come in early and get a headstart on my chores, Mother. The last few days have been so tense, I wanted to make sure things were in order as soon as possible,” she lies. The Dean squints at her, coming around the desk with her hands folded in front of her.

“Is that so? What about your classes?”

“We were given the day off to work on our final projects. Our professor is very efficient. He already taught us three extra chapters in the book because we were learning so quickly under his guidance,” Carmilla supplies. It’s only half a lie, and she knows the Dean will never check anyway.

“Well, well, well,” the Dean beams, stalking forward to hold Carmilla’s chin lovingly in her bony hand, “This is what I’ve been talking about. These are the kind of values that will make you as wonderful a business woman as I. I couldn’t possibly be prouder.” Carmilla smiles and accepts the mandatory kiss on the cheek.

Oh, you have no idea, she thinks.


	13. Chapter 13

Laura understands that as an adult (shut up, nineteen totally counts) the right thing to do is tell Carmilla about her conversation with Danny.

Yeah.

Of course.

Only Danny wants to turn her in and Laura hadn’t exactly said no. In fact, she hadn’t really answered Danny at all, which implied that she’d agreed. Neutral isn’t a stance, she reminds herself, neutral is siding with the most powerful opinion.

And considering Laf sort of kind of agreed with Danny, that opinion seemed to be that on a day very soon they would be kidnapping Carmilla and forcing her to give herself up to some great authority out there and ruining every chance she ever had at being normal. No doubt Perry would agree with the plan. They only have a few short weeks to do something. Turning Carmilla in might be the only option. How can Laura even justify hating the idea, when it could potentially save six people?

The door bangs open and Carmilla marches in. Laura jumps up, her hands clenched at her sides. Carmilla sighs in relief. Thank god Laura is home, the faster she explains the situation the faster they can get this all over with.

“Hey, you’ll never guess what happened today,” she says as she throws her bag on the bed and sheds her coat.

“Danny wants to turn you in if we can’t find another way,” Laura blurts out. Carmilla frowns and opens her mouth to reply.

“And I didn’t exactly disagree and neither did Laf and I mean what if that’s the only option we have I mean we could save six people and I know that it’s up to you but would you really do that? Would you really let the Dean sell six people just so you could get your degree and run away? I mean I know you were planning on doing that anonymous tip after you left but by then it will be too late!” Laura rambles. Carmilla puts her hands on Laura’s shoulders and glares at her until she shuts up.

“As annoying as it is that your friends think they can force me to do anything, it doesn’t matter. Turns out, I was wrong. Mother has a flash drive locked in her desk that has everything we could ever need on it,” she explains. Laura gapes at her.

“You mean…”

“I mean that if we hurry up and get back there before she moves it, then there’s no need for your herd of gingers to kidnap me. Now call them before we miss our chance!” Carmilla urges. Laura nods and dashes to her desk to get her phone. She looks up at Carmila as she listens to it ring, a small smile curving across her lips. Carmilla smiles back, her hand running through her hair nervously. They can do this.

They can do this.

Or maybe that’s like a really broad statement that is only somewhat true, she decides twenty minutes later when everything is awful. Laf, Perry, and Danny all showed up in record time, and things had been developing smoothly. They would go back, sneak the USB out of the mansion, all the standard mystery solving kind of stuff.

And then Carmilla had opened her mouth.

Laura grits her teeth and refrains from stomping her foot like a child, mostly because Carmilla is standing there all cool and collected and staring her straight in the eye like she didn’t just suggest the stupidest thing in the whole universe.

“You can’t just go in there alone! What if she catches you?” Laura demands. Carmilla shrugs.

“I sure as hell can’t get anyone in with me. Besides, as much as I hate the idea, Danny will be right outside the window waiting for me to drop the flash drive to her. It’s not like mommy dearest is going to find anything on me, Laura,” Carmilla shoots back. Danny nods beside her. The plan is well established. Danny and Carmilla will sneak onto the Dean’s property while Laf waits at the fence to take the flash drive in case anyone is following.

“Honestly, Laura, it’s a perfect plan! The two of us can stay here and bake brownies while they’re gone,” Perry says, “Will knows who you are, dear. You can’t just show up in that house and hope he doesn’t see you. That’s ridiculous!”

“Oh, but Laf gets to wait by the fence and I can’t go too? That fence is like halfway into the woods anyway! It doesn’t even go all the way around the house!” Laura exclaims.

“Yeah because marching in the front door with the most recognizable person on this stupid campus is a brilliant idea. If one of Will’s idiot friends recognizes you then we’re all dead. Why is it even such a big deal?” Carmilla complains.

“Because screwing this up could be the end of everything. You need back-up!” Laura insists. Carmilla raises one perfect eyebrow at her.

“What I need is for you to stay here in this room and not try to do something weirdly heroic, got it? I can handle this myself. Mother always gives me the keys to lock up the house after dinner. Just, I don’t know, breathe or something!” Carmilla groans. Laura takes a very deep, very angry breath and turns to Danny.

“If you come back with so much as one hair out of place,” she warns. Danny sighs and puts her hand on Laura’s shoulder.

“We’re going to be fine. Now come on, we’ve got to go before Carmilla’s late and the Dean gets wise to us.” Carmilla touches Laura’s arm on the way out, lingering longer than she probably should. Laf kisses Perry goodbye and heads straight out the door, head held high and swagger accounted for. Danny follows, raising her eyebrows at Laura the whole way to the door.

“And don’t stay out past curfew!” Perry calls after them.

The door shuts.

“I’ll get the first aid kit,” Perry sighs, disappearing into the bathroom. Laura sinks onto her bed. She hates this. She hates not knowing, hates waiting. Why couldn’t Will have tried to kidnap some other unfortunate friend of Carmilla’s?

… all right, so in hindsight…

Somewhere out in the woods, Carmilla is about to tear her ears off. The anthropomorphic carrots behind her haven’t shut up since they left the building, muttering about this and that concerning just exactly how they’re going to distribute whatever is on the drive and what to do in the event the Dean has crazy attack dogs (she doesn’t).

“So… I’m not the only one who saw the-” Laf stops talking to make what Carmilla assumes is a stupid face. She shoves a tree branch out of her way and tries to ignore it. The moon is full, the air is cold, and the leaves are crunchy beneath her shoes. The mansion is only half a mile farther. Just relax.

“Seduction eyes back in the room? The grand old double whammy?” Danny whispers back.

“Good to know I’m not going crazy.”

“Yep. Laura has no idea.”

“What about… y’know?"

“Carmilla has a pretty fantastic idea that sounds really similar to ‘you idiots can’t whisper for shit’. Oh, wait, that’s exactly what it sounds like,” Carmilla sneers at them.

“Wait, you know?” Danny asks.

“That’s like asking me if I have eyes. Of course I know. Laura and subtlety aren’t really synonymous,”  Carmilla drawls.

“But you two aren’t…” Laf makes another gesture and Carmilla debates ditching them in the woods and getting the flash drive herself.

“No. Do I look like the kind of person who makes terrible life decisions. I’m trying to get myself out of a mess, not into one,” she grumbles.

“For your information, Laura is a bright, motivated young woman! Not a mess!” Danny snaps. Carmilla looks at her like Danny has just won the award for stupidest college student on campus.

“I was referring to the fact that my mother is a psycho and I have enough baggage to fill a gymnasium. No matter how amazing Laura is, there’s no way in hell I’m dragging her into this shit only to leave her a few months later. She deserves better than that, and me, considering my one and only girlfriend died because I was a lovesick moron. I know you like to push this “Carmilla is a terrible person” crap, but I am very aware of the fact that my life is not suitable for other people. Laura is young and naive and there’s no way in hell she wouldn’t try to make it work if she knew I had feelings for her. Which is why she doesn’t know. I would never ruin her life like that,” Carmilla hisses back. Laf and Danny stop in their tracks.

“Elle is dead?” Laf asks, eyes wide, mouth open.

“Yeah. Mother dearest killed her right in front of me for being an insolent brat. Best day of my life,” Carmilla replies sarcastically.

“So you’ve known this entire time, and yet you haven’t made a single move because you don’t want to hurt Laura,” Danny reiterates.

“Surprise, surprise, she has a soul after all,” Carmilla mutters. She leaves the two behind, stomping through the forest as fast as she can. She hates feelings. She hates sharing them. How the fuck is this her life.

“Wait, Carmilla!” Danny calls out. The two run to catch up with her. Carmilla doesn’t look at them as they flank her, just keeps looking straight ahead at the wide sky and the twinkling stars.

“You’ve been protecting Laura this entire time, haven’t you? You’re only helping us because of her. Laura said you already had a plan to turn the Dean in, to get everything you wanted, why else would you risk your neck like this?” Danny rants. Carmilla finally sees the top of the mansion through the trees and sighs in relief. 

“Yeah, well. She’d be fucking heartbroken if those kids weren’t rescued. Plus, if you guys take the dean down it saves me a lot of work. All I’ve got to do is clean out my room and I never existed in the first place,” she answers.

“So you aren’t worried about still being here when they bust the Dean?” Laf asks.

“I only need two classes next term and they’re both online. The staff here like me, and they hate my mother. I’m sure they’d be willing to pull a few strings to make sure I graduate. Now if everyone could just shut up, Laf, this is where we leave you.” The three of them stare at the simple chain link fence separating them from the Dean’s property. It’s so flimsy up close. Not at all how the barrier between safety and precarious thievery should look. Nothing like what they’d imagined in their minds.

“Ready, Xena?” Carmilla asks. Danny nods and begins to scale the fence. Carmilla turns to Laf and stares blankly at them for a weirdly long period of time.

“I hope you’re good at keeping secrets,” she says finally, and then she’s up and over the fence too, not looking back, not paying heed to her thundering, traitorous heart or the fear winding into her stomach. She does what she has to do.

When they finally reach the house, Carmilla points out which window is the Dean’s office. It’s slightly off center, first floor. Danny pauses before she goes, pulling out her phone and handing it to Carmilla without a word.

“Put your number in,” she says. When the contact is complete Danny sends a quick text to Carmilla’s phone and tucks her own back in her pocket.

“If anything happens in there, text me. Like we told Laura, I’m your backup,” she says firmly. Carmilla flashes her a faint smile and gestures toward the house in a “you first” motion. Danny nods and silently winds her way through the shadows at the side of the house until she’s able to duck into the bushes. Carmilla watches until she can see Danny raise one hand very briefly to signal she’s set. She glances around one last time. Will’s boys are no where to be found, probably still inside eating. They’ll be out soon, but for now they’re in the clear.

Carmilla takes a deep breath and steps out of the shadows of the house. Now or never.

Inside, the lights wash out any color the walls might have once had with stark white brightness. Laughter bubbles out of the dining room at the end of the hall and Carmilla stalks toward it like she does every night. The adrenaline kicks in somewhere after her sixth step and the anxious stiff feeling melts away until she’s her usual smooth self.

Will and his boys are sitting around the table cracking jokes when she walks in, mother looking on proudly from the head chair. The dessert is just being placed at the table, a soft chocolate cake with deep gold frosting on good china plates. Will smiles at her when she walks in and wiggles his eyebrows.

“There’s my favorite sister. Why’d you skip out on dinner? We had your favorite!” he teases. Carmilla smirks as she takes her position at the Dean’s arm.

“I had a project to finish. I didn’t want it cutting into anymore of my important duties than it had to, of course,” she responds evenly.

“See William, this is why your sister is the one taking over the business,” the Dean says, “Priorities!” Will frowns and goes back to his cake. The Dean turns to Carmilla with her usual elegance and pulls the keys to the house from her pocket.

“Lock up dear. The boys will be leaving in just a moment so don’t bother waiting,” she says. Carmilla takes the keys with a polite curtsy and saunters from the room. She speeds up the second she’s out of sight, down the hall and around the corner in no time. The office is still and dark when she slips through the door, exactly how she wants it. She opens the window and hears the rustling in the bushes below as Danny gets ready to catch whatever she throws down.

She could throw a paperweight, or that weird bust of mozart sitting on the bookshelf that always looks constipated…

Carmilla shakes the amusing thoughts from her head and searches the key ring for the desk key. She’s never used it, only seen it used. It’s one of the gold ones, antique looking, maybe a little faded, ah ha! It fits in the lock like a dream and the drawer comes sliding open. The usb is sitting right on top, so small and inconspicuous. Carmilla wonders how long the Dean has had it, how far back the information really goes.

She carries the tiny thing to the window and leans out. Danny peers up at her from the shadows, hands outstretched.

“Meet me by the door,” Carmilla whispers. The USB falls into Danny’s waiting hands and she’s gone, slipping back the way she’d come. Carmilla takes a deep breath and closes the window. Success.

She locks the drawer and then goes about her duties locking the adjoining door to the conference room, the windows, and the second lock on the safe behind the painting. She’s two steps away from leaving when the Dean stalks in, Will at her heels.

“Something’s come up,” the Dean barks, “One of the sad children is sick. That boy… what’s his name?”

“Kirsch,” Will supplies. Carmilla stares at Will with wide eyes. Oh no, he hadn’t.

“Carmilla, you’ll need to call the doctor and wait here until he arrives. I have a very important phone call in ten minutes and William is going out for supplies. In the meantime, sort out the RSVP’s for the party and make a list of who you think our patrons will be most interested in. Don’t even think about leaving until it’s all taken care of,” the Dean snaps. Carmilla goes rigid, her eyes flickering to the drawer. Fuck.

“Yes, Mother,” she grinds out. The Dean gives her a suspicious look and walks to the desk. Carmilla can feel every single nerve in her body, her breath caught in her throat, the very atoms vibrating around her. The Dean opens the drawer on the left and takes out her second, untraceable phone.

“I’ll be in the conference room. Do not disturb me.” With that she turns and stalks out. Will smirks.

“Have fun, Kitty,” he croons.

“It won’t work, you idiot. Mother is never going to let Kirsch go just because he’s sick. She’ll kill him before he gets out of the cage,” Carmilla snaps.

“Don’t you worry about that. Unlike you, I have a plan. And who do you think mother is going to blame for picking a bad seed, huh? Sure as hell isn’t going to be me,” Will hisses back. He winks as he leaves, coating every available surface in gross creeper vibes.

Carmilla pulls the RSVP’s out of the filing cabinet and throws them on the desk. The Dean is going to notice the drive is missing sooner rather than later if her schedule is anything to go by. Carmilla needs to get out of the mansion as fast as she possibly can. If she’s around for the fall out, there’s no doubt in her mind she will never walk out of the mansion ever again.

She sends a quick text to Danny. _Go. Will follow in a few hours._ Tell Laura I’m fine. She hopes it will be enough to keep Laura from worrying too much. She’s come too far to let something like paperwork ruin her good day. No, she’s going to make it out with time to spare. She always does.

Back at the dorm, Laura is going stir crazy. She’s done nothing but stare at her computer screen, mindlessly clicking through the depths of the internet as she waits for Carmilla and the others to return. She checks the clock again. It’s only seven. They’ve only been gone for an hour. Technically nothing bad had happened yet.

She can’t shake the feeling that something will, though, and that’s the problem.

Laura sighs and grabs her coat from the bed post. She can’t take this anymore. She can’t just sit on the sidelines while Carmilla and her friends are out there somewhere trying to save everyone. This was her mission in the first place and she’s not going to let the people she loves put themselves in danger without her. She tiptoes out of her room and down the hall, peering into Laf and Perry’s room as she goes by. Perry is cutting the brownies up as she hums a little tune, completely oblivious that her young charge is anywhere besides where she’s supposed to be.

Laura dashes down the stairs and down the front steps of the building, turning sharply to cut across the parking lot and into the woods. She’s almost to the treeline when she sees something red and familiar darting through the underbrush in her direction. Laf and Danny come into view, their faces grim. Carmilla isn’t with them.

They reach Laura in a matter of moments and skid to a stop, panting and avoiding Laura’s eyes.

“Looks like we got back just in time, huh?” Laf says.

“And with great success,” Danny says, holding up the flash drive. Laura isn’t paying attention. She’s still staring into the woods intently, waiting for Carmilla to appear out of the trees and flash her that know-it-all smile.

“Where is she?” Laura mumbles.

“Carmilla… got held up,” Danny explains. Laura’s eyes go wide. Held up?

“Don’t worry! She’s fine. See? She texted me. She wouldn’t be able to do that if she was in trouble,” Danny says quickly, handing her phone over to Laura.

“Yeah, seriously, the first thing they’d do would be take her phone away,” Laf says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Laura stares at the little message on the little screen.

“No.” She shakes her head, “No, we have to get her out of there. If the Dean suspects her at all then Carmilla is dead. You have no idea how crazy that lady is, this could all be some elaborate ploy so that we don’t come looking for her we have to go back!” Laura makes to run into the woods and Danny grabs her by the shoulders.

“Hollis, I swear on the alchemy club. Carmilla knows what she’s doing. We can’t just go running in there, guns blazing, and expect to win.”

“You didn’t see her when she came back, Danny! I am not letting that happen again,” Laura argues. She wriggles out of Danny’s arms only to be stopped by Laf.

“Laura, come on. At least give Carmilla a couple of hours to come back. If she’s not back by then, we’ll come up with a plan to bust that damn door down and give the Dean a good kick in the ‘nads, yeah? Between now and then we can blast this baby to hell and back.” Laf snatches the flashdrive from Danny’s hand and waves it around.

“By morning this place will be swarming with cops,” Danny confirms.

“They can help,” Laf adds. Laura clenches her jaw and scowls into the trees.

“Fine,” she snaps. She knows they’re right. She knows there’s nothing they can do and that going in to save Carmilla could potentially get everyone hurt. She knows and yet every fiber of her being is telling her to run into the forest and find Carmilla. Find her before it’s too late and the Dean finally gets fed up and-

Laura turns on her heel and walks back towards the dorm as fast as she can. No. Carmilla is going to be fine. She can’t think like that.

The anxiety twists and grows in the pit of her stomach, crawling up her neck and into her head whispering darkness into her ear.

Laf and Danny share a worried look and follow. This is not going to end well.


	14. Chapter 14

As the minutes go by, the darkness of night grows deeper. Laura sits on her bed, pretending to entertain herself with her lit research, glancing every few moments at the door, wondering when a second became the same as agony and a minute the definition of eternity.

Around the time Carmilla crawled into my bed last night, she thinks, sometime after we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

When I wasn’t looking.

When I wasn’t being careful.

When I let things get out of hand.

Lafontaine spins around in Laura’s chair and stares at her. They’d agreed to stay and keep her company while they waited for Carmilla to come back. Danny had to meet Betty for some anniversary dinner thing. Perry had been called away to deal with some weird noise disturbance in the basement. It was just the two of them and the silence.

“I can feel you angsting all the way over here, y’know,” Lafontaine points out. Laura sighs and turns the page in her textbook even though she hasn’t actually read it.

“I just need to know she’s okay, Laf. How would you feel if it was Perry out there, fighting the monsters for you?” Laura says. Laf looks into the camera like they’re on the office.

“Ignoring the deeper meaning that may or may not be behind that comparison, trust me, I get it. If that was Perry out there, I would be armed to the teeth and jumping from a plane right now. Unfortunately, my tiny frosh, you do not have the resources to go busting in on a psychotic lady who could reduce us to mulch if she wanted to,” Laf says, “Carmilla said to give her a few hours. It’s only been two. I mean, she usually gets back at one or two in the morning right?” Laura frowns and picks at the pages of her book. She supposes Laf has a point. Carmilla usually is out until the wee hours of the morning doing things for the Dean. This is just like any other night.

“She didn’t answer any of my texts,” Laura says.

“She’s probably somewhere she doesn’t want to risk it. It was actually kind of kick ass how easily she got this drive out of there. Girl has some serious skills,” Laf says. Behind them the computer dings. Laf spins around to inspect the screen and grins.

“All files uploaded. Now I just have to load them into the server… and there they go! Every federal office this side of the ocean now has a copy of the Dean’s private correspondence.” They unplug the USB and set it on the desk. Laura stares at it, the gears in her head whirring to life.

“Hey, Laf? Can you get me the, um, copy of Romeo and Juliet out of the bathroom? I, uh, was reading it in there earlier?” Laura asks. Laf, distracted as they are, nods.

“Yeah, sure.” They get up and go into the bathroom, mind half occupied by the code half-finished on the computer. Laura gets up and follows, tiptoeing as lightly as she can across the creaking floor. She pauses at the door, grimacing. Oh jeez, is she really going to do this?

Laura scrunches her eyes closed and throws her entire body weight against the door. It slams closed. Laura locks it and steps back, eyes wide. There’s a yell from inside and then Laf starts pounding on the door.

“Laura, this is totally not cool!” They call.

“Sorry!” Laura yells back. She scoops up the USB and grabs her coat. Carmilla never left her in the days leading up to this disaster and she sure as hell was going to return the favor.

At the same moment that Laura is setting off for the Dean’s mansion, Carmilla is finishing the very last page of RSVP’s. Her fingers are sore and her neck feels like it’s about to come dislodged from her body. So much for finishing early. It's nearly eleven o’clock. No doubt Laura is pacing a hole in the floor as she lists all the different ways Carmilla is going to “regret this”.

Carmilla tucks the stack of papers into a folder and replaces them neatly in the filing cabinet. All that’s left is to finish locking up and then she can get the hell out of the mansion for good. A shiver runs through her. She’s never coming back here. It’s over.

Carmilla almost laughs out loud. So this is what freedom feels like.

Her joy is cut short by yelling in the hallway. The door to the office flies open and the Dean glides in, followed closely by two of her own personal security. They have Will between them, his eyes ringed red and bloodshot as they throw him to the floor. Carmilla instinctively steps to the wall. Will is blubbering some mess about forgiveness and family but he is ignored outright.

“I can’t believe you would even think of betraying your mother, my dear son. This will not be tolerated. I thought you would have understood after the mistakes your sister made two years ago, the consequences for defying me,” the Dean growls. So she had found out about Kirsch.

“Please, mother! He’s no good for this kind of thing. He’s too stubborn! And sick! Just let him go I promise he won’t say a word mother I promise!” Will pleads. The Dean shakes her head and moves to her desk.

“I can’t do that William. It would hardly be fair to Carmilla. She had to watch her love die, and so will you. Perhaps next time you will make better choices that aren’t so hurtful to your own family!” The Dean pulls open her drawer and stops.

“Well what do we have here,” she murmurs, “I was looking for my pistol, but it appears that something is missing.” Carmilla closes her eyes. Fuck. The Dean looks first to Will, then to Carmilla.

“Both my children in one night. Where could I have possibly gone wrong?” she muses. She takes a step towards Carmilla, cups her cheek, strokes her hair.

“Take William down to the cage. I need to have a chat with Carmilla,” the Dean says. The guards drag William out, the door closing swiftly behind. The Dean’s hand tightens around Carmilla’s throat. Carmilla can feel the nails digging into her skin as she struggles to breath.

“What did you do with that drive, Carmilla?” Carmilla shakes her head. Why give up Laura now? The drive is already gone. There’s nothing she can do to get it back.

The Dean scowls and leads her by the neck to kneel before the desk. Carmilla stares at the door behind the Dean’s back. If only she could make a run for it. Unfortunately there isn’t enough space to go around the Dean and through the door. The Dean makes a disappointed tsk-ing sound and paces before her.

“I thought you would have learned your lesson by now, Carmilla.” Her hand snaps across Carmilla’s face, her rings digging into pale flesh. Carmilla gasps and raises her arms to defend herself only to feel a sharp kick in the ribs. She doubles over, breath ragged. Holy shit.

“Elle was your first mistake, but this? This is treason,” the Dean growls. Carmilla squeezes her eyes shut and tenses for the next blow. She hopes Laura got the drive to the authorities, she hopes they’re on their way.

She hopes because she knows she won’t live to see it.

Only the next blow doesn’t come. Instead the door opens (seriously what is with that door) and Laura is standing there, chest heaving and her expression nuclear. Carmilla looks at her in disbelief. Son of a- goddamit Laura! The Dean turns, scowling ferociously.

“Don’t even think about it, lady. Bet you’re wondering where this is huh?” Laura holds up the flashdrive, dangles it from her fingers even. The Dean hisses in surprise and steps toward her.

“Oh no. You let Carmilla go, then you can have this,” Laura says. The Dean continues to advance, her eyes sharp and focused. Laura refuses to back up, even though she’s trembling from head to toe, eyes flickering to Carmilla on the floor. Carmilla looks devastated, destroyed completely. The Dean grabs the front of Laura’s shirt and yanks her into the office. Laura struggles but even her childhood martial arts can’t save her. Suddenly Laura is pressed up against the closed door, a cold hand holding her in place as nails scrape across her palm and rip the USB from her hand.

“Insolent children. I should have let Will take you when he had the chance. I wondered why Carmilla wasn’t suggesting as fine a specimen as you, but I understand now. You’ve corrupted her!” The Dean pulls Laura forward and shoves her back with such force her head cracks against the door. Stars flash in her vision as she takes in huge gulps of air.

Something in Carmilla snaps. She launches herself up and shoves the Dean away. Laura instinctively reaches out for her as Carmilla inserts herself between the two, hands clamping down on Carmilla’s hips. The Dean slams into the book case, violently upsetting the trinkets on it’s shelves. The Dean staggers to her feet, disbelief and rage carving her features into a monstrosity.

“You stupid bitch,” she yells, grabbing at Carmilla. Carmilla pulls away, hitting back indiscriminately as the Dean tries to drag her away. The Dean’s hands close around her wrists soon enough and the next thing Carmilla knows her head is connecting with the desk.

“Carmilla,” Laura screams, lunging towards her. The Dean interferes, catching Laura across the face with the back of her hand. Laura yelps and flinches away, giving the Dean the perfect opportunity to kick her down. Carmilla watches in a daze as the Dean hovers over Laura.

Laura struggles up onto her elbows and the Dean kicks her in the stomach. Carmilla lurches forward and the room spins around her. She can feel the blood dripping down her face. Laura watches her with wide eyes, reaching out for her. The Dean moves to her desk and removes her gun.

“Honestly, I don’t know what you see in her.” Laura looks back up at the Dean. She’s loading the pistol as she advances. Laura scrambles back towards the door, terror ripping through her. Carmilla stumbles to her feet. She looks around the room for anything, any little thing, that she could use to take the Dean down.

“She’s just a young, angry, broken girl. You could have avoided all this. You could mind your own business. Yet you followed her here thinking you could be some hero.”

Carmilla locks on to the antique sword the Dean recently acquired, sitting on top of the set of drawers against the wall. She staggers to it, tears the sword from it’s sheath.

“You don’t know anything about her,” Laura coughs, “She’s _strong_.”

Strong.

“She’s _caring_.”

Caring.

“And she’s _so much more_ than you give her credit for!”

So. Much. More.

“It’s a pity. You would have made a wonderful product,” the Dean sneers. She raises the gun, her finger drifting to the trigger.

Carmilla rears up behind her, sword in both hands. She brings it down with all the force she can muster, every ounce of every muscle, into the curve between the shoulder and the neck. The Dean cries out. Carmilla tugs the sword down, slicing down the Dean’s back. Blood spews from her neck and she drops the gun, trying to desperately plug the artery with her hands. She staggers forward, drops to her knees, and topples over on to Laura.

Laura stares, frozen in place, as the life slips from the Dean’s body. Carmilla doesn’t move, doesn’t even tear her eyes from the Dean as the sword drips blood onto the carpet from her hands.

The Dean is dead.


	15. Chapter 15

The silence could have woken the dead. The world remains in that moment for decades, that last breath of life lingering in the air, in their lungs, for a lifetime. The weight of the sword slowly drags Carmilla’s arms down until the tip gently finds the floor. Laura collapses in on herself, spine curling into the floor as thick, warm blood seeps into her clothes. There’s a whistling like air being sucked into a tube and all that time is drawn back into that one, final second.

“Oh my god,” Laura breathes. Carmilla drops the sword and rushes to her side. Together they roll the Dean away. They’re covered in blood, battered and bruised. Carmilla hauls Laura to her feet on autopilot. The same thought is repeating in her head over and over. They need to get out of the mansion before anyone comes looking for the Dean.

“Go!” she croaks, pushing Laura out the door. Laura’s hand clamps down on her arm and Carmilla stumbles forward into her, the door to the office slamming closed behind them. They flee out the back door, never letting go of the other for even a second. The cold night air hits them like a wall. The adrenaline pumping through them is nothing but fire in their veins.

Oh god, she’d killed someone. The Dean is dead. She’d killed the Dean.

Carmilla drags Laura in the direction of the back road. It will take longer but it’s less likely anyone will see them. Laura looks at her hands, covered in blood. She’s whimpering under her breath, straying this way and that as they walk as fast as they can away from the property. Carmilla feels sick. It feels like the sky is falling. Carmilla feels like a million weights have been lifted off of her and oxygen is in her lungs and she’s so fucking _happy_ she could _cry_. She gets as far as the edge of the property before making a beeline for the ditch at the side of the road.

“Carmilla?” Laura calls after her. Carmilla doesn’t even realize where she is until she’s puking into the bushes. Shit. Her head is throbbing like a goddamn strobe light and she feels so fucking sick, there is blood on her hands holy fuck she’d killed the Dean, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Laura stumbles over to her and gingerly pulls her hair back. Carmilla is sort of already covered in blood so she doesn’t exactly worry about what’s on her hands. She’s trying not to think about it, or what it is, but she might be crying anyway. Everything feels numb and far away, like they’re in some bad dream and not the real world at all.

“Please be okay,” Laura whispers, “Please, please be okay.” Carmilla wipes her mouth on the back of her sleeve and stands up. Laura takes a step back, her heart pounding in her chest as Carmilla stares at her. At the blood on her face and her clothes. This ferocious girl who came even when she knew it could be the end of her.

“I know you told me not to come but I was so scared when you didn’t come back with the others and I locked Laf in a bathroom to steal that USB and you’re probably pissed at me because I put myself in danger but I didn’t have a choice Carmilla! I had to make sure you were okay! I… had to… I…. what are we going to do?” Laura stutters, her chest tightening with every word. Carmilla pulls Laura into her arms and holds on tight. Laura clings to her. She’d come so close to losing Carmilla. So close.

Eventually Carmilla pulls away, her hand running over Laura’s face as she examines her. The marks on Laura’s face aren’t too bad, just a few little scratches. Carmilla wipes Laura’s tears away with her thumbs and fixes Laura’s hair. Laura lets it happen in a daze. So she had been crying. Huh.

“Wipe your shoes off in the grass,” Carmilla whispers. Laura does so quickly, as Carmilla fixes her own hair and uses the inside of her shirt to wipe as much blood as she can off her face.

“We need to get back to our room and to do that we need to be silent, okay? I come back around now all the time and no one is ever awake so we should be safe. Can you keep it together until then?” Carmilla asks. Laura nods. Staying quiet. Easy.

Especially since she feels like she’s falling apart and has no idea if she could talk anymore anyway.

Carmilla nods once and they set off down the road, Carmilla’s arm around Laura’s shoulders. The pace Carmilla sets is brutal, but Laura is so out of it she can’t feel the burn in her legs anyway. The road leads them around to the back of the science building and from there down a service road that pops up behind the dorms. It’s the longer way around, something like a thirty minute walk, but at least no one will see them.

Carmilla checks to make sure they aren’t leaving any bloody footprints and then leads them in through a service door on the side of the building that Laura has never noticed before. The halls inside are dark and warm, nothing like the bright, cold mansion. They sneak down the hall to their room without a single problem. Somehow it feels wrong. Shouldn’t someone be there to catch them? Isn’t that how this movie is supposed to end?

Carmilla closes and locks the door behind them as Laura clicks on the lights. The room is exactly as she left it, minus one Lafontaine and one bathroom door. She reaches out towards her mug sitting on top of her headboard. All of it the same, like nothing even happened.

And yet so many things had happened.

Carmilla grabs her hand and forces it to her side, nails digging into Laura’s skin as she steers them through their possessions.

“Do. Not. Touch. Anything,” Carmilla warns. Laura cringes and allows Carmilla to lead her into the bathroom. Carmilla tries to be as gentle as possible, she really does, but the longer it takes to clean up the higher the chance someone catches them. She practically shoves Laura into the bathroom, pulling the shower curtain back as fast as she can and turning the water on with little regard for temperature.

Laura is still shaking, even though she’s considerably warmer now that she’s inside. Probably going into shock. Carmilla can’t even begin to pretend she’s any better. Her heart is still beating at a million miles an hour and Carmilla is almost afraid it’s going to give out a second time. She pushes the thought out of her mind and turns back to Laura. She can have a mental breakdown when Laura is safe and she’s as far away from this place as possible.

Laura is still trying to figure out who put cotton balls in her head when her shirt is suddenly lifted off of her and tossed to the floor. Oh, right. Laura fumbles with the button on her pants as Carmilla unhooks her bra. Her hands are batted away and Carmilla unbuttons the pants for her, sliding them down so Laura can step out.

Laura doesn’t even realize her panties are gone as well until Carmilla pushes her into the shower. She yelps at the scalding water and backs into the corner. The whole world comes into focus, her heart desperately trying to jump out of her chest. Carmilla swears and turns the temperature down, this time gently prodding Laura towards the spray. The water makes her skin buzz. She closes her eyes and tries to absorbs every ounce of warmth into her trembling body. There are so many emotions swirling around inside of her that she can’t even separate them enough to name them. Oh god. Holy shit.

Carmilla strips down as fast as she can and steps in behind Laura. The dried blood is slowly washing off Laura’s skin, running in little red rivers down her arms and stomach. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her hands are clamped onto her arms like if she doesn’t hold herself together she’ll split right in two. Carmilla reaches for a washcloth and gently turns Laura so that they’re facing each other.

“Hey.” Laura takes a shuddering breath and opens her eyes. Carmilla tries to smile reassuringly, but she’s pretty sure it doesn’t quite happen. She presses the washcloth to Laura’s cheek. There’s blood spatter all over her face and in her hair. Fucking arteries.

“Come on, sweetheart, say something.” Laura glances at Carmilla’s hand rubbing slow gentle circles into her cheek. Something in her squeezes itself into too tight a space and she’s sobbing harder than she ever has.

“She’s dead. Actually dead. She died on top of me and I can’t get the look on her face out of my head and all I can think is that I was going to lose you,” she chokes out, “I couldn’t even get to you and she was so strong and now she’s dead and I don’t know how I feel about any of it because I can’t stop shaking and… and...” Carmilla shushes her and gingerly dabs at a small cut on Laura’s lip.

“You did what you had to, Laura. There is no doubt in my mind that I would be gone right now if you hadn’t walked into that office,” she soothes quietly.

“Me? You’re the one who killed the Dean!” Laura argues through her tears. Carmilla swallows roughly and tries to ignore the twisting in her heart.

“She always said I had it in me.” Carmilla murmurs. Laura’s eyes soften and she frowns. So that was the exact wrong thing to say.

“Carm….”

“You saw what I did to her, Laura, you… _fuck_. She saved ME. And I’m happy she’s _dead_.” Carmilla whimpers. The tears are beginning to fall, that feeling in the pit of her stomach that _mother is always right_ starting to take over. Laura gently takes the washcloth from Carmilla’s hand and presses it to the cut on her brow. It’s hard to wash the blood off when she’s shaking so substantially, but Carmilla holds her shoulders to help keep her steady.

“You said I did what I had to but if that’s true then it applies to you, too. If you hadn’t killed her we would both be dead and those kids would probably be long gone and nothing would have changed at all. She didn’t give you a choice, Carmilla. I don’t think any less of you and neither will anyone else, okay? I get it, she was your mom, sort of, and without her you wouldn’t be here right now, but she also really, really hurt you. You don’t owe her anything.” The tears are still coming at lightning speed and she can’t quite get her hands to do what she wants them to do and everything is just so frustrating that she growls under her breath and throws the washcloth.

Carmilla let’s out a shaky, tear-soaked laugh and pulls Laura closer. They’re skin to skin and she’s never felt closer to home and she can feel her heart breaking as they stand there under the cascading water. Oh, Laura. Precious, perfect Laura.

She thinks that no matter where she goes or how far, she will never feel alone ever again. No matter how many nightmares of blood and death haunt her for the rest of her life, there will always be a hand to hold.

“I know you didn’t just do it for me, I know you did it for you, and them, and everyone really but...” Laura whispers into her collarbone.

“Of course I did it for you,” Carmilla whispers back. Laura swallows the lump in her throat and winds her arms tighter around Carmilla’s waist. Of course she did, because Laura was the one in danger. Really, deep down, it’d been for all of them. Carmilla stood up for herself, stood up for everyone, faced her demon and won.

“Thanks for saving me,” Laura finishes. Carmilla presses a kiss to Laura’s head and runs her hands through Laura’s hair, watching as the red drips out of it and far far away. The water will go cold. The world will turn on and on forever. Love will have its sacrifices.

Just like every time before.

They dress in silence on opposite sides of the room. Laura might not have a lot of experience with murder, but she knows that Carmilla’s fingerprints will be all over that sword. Carmilla begins packing her books without a word.

Laura goes to the wardrobe and pulls out the clothes that Carmilla wears the most, neatly folding them into a pile and then tucking them with care into Carmilla’s duffel bag. She knows Carmilla won’t pack enough shirts if she does it herself, in favor of one more philosophy text.

She finds the shirt Carmilla was wearing when they first met hanging in the very back. She holds it up and just looks at it, tries to remember how things used to be. But now that memory is changed. Now that Carmilla, arguing with Perry in the hallway, is the same Carmilla standing three feet away. She can’t separate them, can’t even find a seam where the two have joined together.

“You should keep that,” Carmilla says behind her. Laura whirls around. She hadn’t realized Carmilla was watching her. Her eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot, face gaunt. Laura figures she must look basically the same. She tries to smile and her skin is stiff around her eyes.

“No… I couldn’t,” she says, “You need it more than I do.” Carmilla smirks at her. Subtle, Hollis.

“Take it. It’s almost worn out anyway.” They stare at each other for a long moment, neither gaze wavering.

“Okay. If you insist,” Laura replies. Carmilla shakes her head and throws the last of her books into her backpack. She disappears into the bathroom to collect the trash bag of bloody clothes and stuffs it into her bag. When she comes back, Laura is zipping up her spare coat.

“Laura,” she sighs.

“You already left me behind once tonight,” Laura reminds her firmly.

“Fine,” Carmilla says. She picks up her duffel from the bed as Laura shoulders the backpack.

“So,” Laura coughs, “What’s the plan?” Carmilla takes a deep breath.

“I’m going to catch a train.”

The trainyard is about twenty minutes south of campus, just before the one and only town anywhere near anything in the old styrian countryside. Carmilla leads the way without much thought, winding through the forest surrounding the school with no trouble at all. Laura figures she’ll just take the road back, but humors Carmilla’s love for the wilderness one last time.

In no time at all, the lines of the trainyard are twinkling before them. Carmilla sidles up to the fence where it’s darkest and throws her bag over. There’s no way in hell she’s buying a ticket. That would get her caught in no time.

“Train’s leaving in ten minutes,” she says, gesturing for her backpack. Laura slides it off her shoulder and hands it over, ignoring the sudden urge she has to take it and run. No, the authorities will be arriving any time now and Carmilla has to be long gone when they do. It’s her only chance, Laura reminds herself, really not the time to be selfish.

Carmilla chucks the pack over the fence and follows it before she can decide to do something stupid like hug Laura, never leave, get arrested, and die in a jail cell somewhere. She lands on the other side with the usual grace and pushes her hair out of her face. Laura stands on the other side, toying with her sleeves. There’s a pull between them, sharp and unfamiliar as they stand apart.

“Guess this is it,” Carmilla says. She pretends her hands aren’t shaking, folds her arms to hide the way her chest rises and falls quickly.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Laura repeats. She’s forcing the panic away, pushing it down, so that Carmilla doesn’t see. She needs to stay strong, to get through this. She doesn’t want the last time Carmilla sees her to be anything short of okay.

Neither of them moves.

“Y’know, I never would have been able to do this without you,” Carmilla says. She takes a step closer to the fence and Laura immediately mimics her.

“What do you mean?” Laura asks. Carmilla swallows and steps closer.

“Before I met you, I just wanted to hole myself up somewhere and never be seen again. But then you came tumbling into my life and it was like…. things started to make sense. You understood, you listened. You reminded me how people are supposed to be with each other. I’m not saying I’m fixed, I’ve got plenty of shit to work through, but you showed me where to start, y’know? You stuck your grabby little hands into my life and you pointed me in the right direction, and I will never, ever forget that, Laura. Never.”

Laura feels the tears well up in her eyes before she feels the weight in her chest. Her lip trembles and she takes a shuddering breath. They’re only inches apart now. She could reach through the chain link and touch Carmilla if she wanted to.

“You were wrong,” she says. Carmilla tilts her head to the side and Laura laughs, wiping her wet cheeks.

“You were wrong. What you said about Romeo and Juliet. It was worth it.”

The color drains from Carmilla’s face and she takes a step back. Dammit, Laura.

“Laura…”

“No. I have to say this. You’re leaving and you’re never coming back and I know you have a lot going on right now but please, Carmilla…” Laura is looking at her like something brighter than the sun and Carmilla thinks her heart might literally be fracturing into several pieces.

“Laura, we can’t do this,” she says. Laura frowns.

“What do you mean? I mean, I get that you don’t feel the same way-” Oh for the love of fuck.

“Laura, christ, no! We can’t do this because we aren’t some love struck teenagers out of a sappy romcom titled ‘angst creek’! There is no moral to this story. There is no surprise happy ending!” Her voice is high and fragile and she doesn’t realize what she’s done until Laura doesn’t reply right away. It sinks in like stones in a river, dragging them down to the mud. Laura’s mouth is hanging open and her eyes are wide enough to be tiny moons.

“What do you mean, we can’t do this?” she asks. Carmilla had not just…. holy crap. How hadn’t she seen it? How hadn’t she picked up on the little looks and the sudden shift in attitude? Carmilla was in love with her. Actually, honest to candyland in love with her.

“I don’t have time for this,” Carmilla says. She turns to pick up her bags but Laura reaches through the fence and latches onto her sleeve, yanking her back so they’re eye to eye. Carmilla’s hands hit the fence and she curls her hands into the cold metal.

“Oh, no you don’t. You are NOT walking away from me. You can’t just say something like that and then not answer me. This whole time I thought you were too busy to notice me but that’s not true is it?” she snaps. The tears are falling faster now, angry and desperate and devastated. They could have had a chance. They could have had something. Carmilla feels the desperation more than she hears it and shit, all she wants to do is tell Laura the truth, tell her every little thing she does that makes Carmilla’s heart flutter in her chest. Just looking at Laura makes her heart ache.

“Laura, sweetheart, if we do this right now, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. That’s no way to live. This is it for us. Just let it end, right here, right now,” Carmilla pleads. Laura bites her lip and claps her free hand over her mouth to keep herself from shattering.

“Say it, Carmilla. I have to know if you feel the same. Please don’t just leave me here,” she cires. Carmilla ducks her head and tries desperately to stop the tears threatening to spill down her face.

“Don’t do this, Laura. You already have your answer and you know it. You need to let me go,” she says, her voice wavering softly.

“I don’t know anything for sure until you say it!” she sobs. How long? Why? Who else knew?

“Laura!”

“Everyone knows, don’t they? Everyone but me?”

“Please, Laura…”

“Tell me!”

“Fine!”

Carmilla looks up, tears streaming down her face. Where Laura expected a scowl is a soft expression she doesn’t immediately recognizes. Oh. OH.

“Hold still,” Carmilla breathes. She cannot believe she’s about to do this. It is the worst idea she has ever had. She lifts her hands and uses the tips of her fingers to guide Laura’s face forward, meeting her in the middle, lips pressing together through one of the diamonds in the fence. The wire is pressing into her jaw and her nose but she can’t find it in her to care. Laura’s eyes flutter shut and her fingers brush along Carmilla’s wrists as their mouths move together. Just like that, everything slots into place.

Slowly, painstakingly so, Carmilla pulls back. She knows as soon as she opens her eyes that she can never take it back. The feeling of Laura, that bright, smooth way she fits seamlessly into the universe is everywhere. Every second they’d ever touched, every hug, every brush of their fingers fills Carmilla up to the brim. Laura leans away, eyes still closed. Her pulse is racing, her mind blank as a calm warmth washes over her. It’s nothing like she thought it would be, not nearly as fiery and hard. Carmilla is firm but not harsh, gentle even as she is insistent. Laura doesn’t know where to start, actually.

She opens her eyes and Carmilla sees it, the recognition, the acceptance. She nods once and picks up her bags. In the distance, a train blows its horn. Carmilla turns without a word and takes off for the tracks. The train is chugging along slowly, quietly gaining speed. She makes it just in time to scramble into one of the empty box cars. She turns and looks back at Laura. Laura stands frozen in place, stunned. Wait. No.

She doesn’t care what it takes, she is not going to let Carmilla out of her sight ever again.

Laura throws herself over the fence, calling Carmilla’s name hoarsely before she even hits the ground. The train is picking up speed faster and faster as it pulls out of the yard. Laura bolts toward it, fresh tears pouring down her cheeks. She can’t lose her. Not after tonight. Not after that kiss. Not after all the gentle touches and midnight talks and the _murder._

The train doesn’t care.

In moments it’s disappearing around a bend in the track, horn blowing in the distance. Laura collapses to the ground in a tangle. It hits her all at once, and suddenly she can’t breath. Carmilla is gone. The Dean is dead. The war is over.

And she has nothing.

On the train, Carmilla slides down the wall in exhaustion. Laura’s cries for her are still ringing in her ears, the image of Laura running full tilt after her burned into her mind forever. She runs a shaking hand through her hair and digs through her backpack for her phone. She has three missed texts from Danny and two from Will. Danny’s are all caps, demanding to know if she knows where Laura is, if she’s okay, if THEY are okay. Carmilla stares at the phone for a moment before she types out a single response.

_Laura at trainyard. Hurry._

With all her strength, she launches the phone out the open door of the boxcar. With that one little detail taken care of she drags the door shut and lays down on the wood floor.

She cries herself to sleep to the rhythm of the train, and when she dreams, there’s no Laura to go back to.


	16. Chapter 16

Laura doesn’t know how long she’s face down in the gravel. She’s curled up as tightly as she can, breathing in dust and mucus. Every time she catches her breath she inevitably breaks, the bone rattling sobs gaining strength again until she can’t feel her lips. She doesn’t know how much longer she can cry before the tears stop coming, how long before the exhaustion wins out. She feels hot and dizzy, salt sticking to her cheeks and dirt to her hands. Why? Why her? Out of everyone, why do these things always happen to her?

The corners of her vision are getting fuzzy and dark when she hears footsteps approaching her. Something soft and warm lands on her back, runs through her hair, and then she’s being turned towards the glittering sky. Danny hovers over her, asking her questions she can’t hear and checking her over for injuries. Laura lays on her back and stares at the sky. She can feel herself come unbound, raw and thin, trying to stretch to the edges of the vast universe. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t pull herself back together, can’t even find where she ends and the world begins.

“Laura? Laura! Where’s Carmilla?” Danny asks. Laura shakes her head and the world turns on a dime. It occurs to her that maybe she’s hyperventilating. Danny swears and throws Laura’s arm over her shoulder. In no time at all, Laura is bundled up in her arms. Oh, Laura thinks, there I am. She curls into Danny’s chest and takes deep, shaky breaths. There are the edges. There I am.

She doesn’t remember the walk back to Silas. The first thing she registers after Danny picks her up is the feeling of her bed below her and the familiar smell of lavender soap still hanging in the air. She pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on top of them. Danny pulls up a chair and sits in front of her.

“Laura? Can you tell me what happened?” she asks.

The door bangs open and Lafontaine comes barreling in with Perry on their heels.

“Danny, we got your text! Laura!” Laf tackles her.

“Oh thank goodness, it’s a mess out there,” Perry sighs. Lafontaine jumps back eyes wide.

“There are like forty police cars at the Dean’s place. They found all the missing kids and arrested everyone in the house,” they exclaim. Laura feels her throat start to close up again. They were safe. They’d done it. They’d won.

“We even saw Will get taken away in a police cruiser,” Perry supplies.

“We didn’t see the Dean but… they did bring out someone in a body bag,” Lafontaine says. Danny looks at Laura. Laura puts her hand over her mouth.

“Um, not to be nosey, but uh… where’s Carmilla? I thought you said she was with Laura?” Perry asks. Danny looks at her hands.

“Laura was alone when I got there. I think Carmilla might have…” she struggles for the right, non-inflammatory word.

“She killed the Dean,” Laura says. All eyes fall to her. Perry even lets out a little gasp and covers her mouth with her hands.

“What happened?” Lafontaine breathes.

“She was going to shoot me. Carmilla...there was this sword on a shelf and she picked it up. The Dean would have killed both of us if she hadn’t… and now she’s gone. We went to the train yard and she got on a train going north,” Laura explains, her voice breaking. Danny rubs her back soothingly.

“Oh, Laura, I’m so sorry,” Perry says. Lafontaine puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and Laura closes her eyes.

“Is she still going to get her degree? I mean, does she have money? Food?” Lafontaine asks quietly.

"I don't know,” Laura whispers, “I don’t know.”

She doesn’t really know anything anymore.

Perry is the one who helps her get ready for bed, who braids her hair nice and even and reminds her to brush her teeth. When they return from the bathroom, Danny and Lafontaine are deep in conversation about the possible outcomes of the next day. The police are going to notice Carmilla is missing fairly quickly, and they need to be prepared.

Laura climbs into bed and listens to their soft voices as she falls asleep. It’s almost four in the morning when she finally drifts off, and the emptiness that claims her is still and dreamless.

Sun is streaming in the room when she regains consciousness. Perry is shaking her awake gently and calling her name. It takes Laura a moment to register where she is, the empty bed across the room, the wide gaping hole in her chest.

“No,” she groans, rolling back into her pillow. Perry sighs and glances at the door.

“Laura, I know it’s hard, but you need to get up,” she says.

“What’s the point? Everything’s just going to suck,” Laura whines into her pillow. Her eyes and nose are on fire and the rest of her face feels puffy and uncomfortable. It hurts to move, it hurts to think, and it hurts to exist. Why the hell would she get up?

“The point is that the police are here and Lafontaine is stalling them downstairs by pretending we can’t find Carmilla’s room number. They’re going to be here any second,” Perry hisses. Panic settles into Laura’s chest. She sits straight up in bed and looks around wildly.

“What do I say? I don’t have an alibi… my face! How am I going to explain my face?!”

“Shhhh! Someone might hear you!” Perry chastises. She holds up a clean set of clothes and hands them to Laura. Laura takes them and climbs out of bed.

“Um, thanks,” she says awkwardly. Perry smiles.

“I’ll stand watch,” she says, dashing out the door and closing it behind her. Laura sighs and begins to dress herself. It’s harder than she remembers it being, pants, underwear, socks, bra, jeez why do people wear so many clothes?

She almost pulls the tank top Perry laid out over her head, but stops when she sees Carmilla’s shirt sitting on her desk. She snatches it up and pulls it on. The worn cotton is soothing against her skin and the shirt still smells faintly of Carmilla. It’s not perfect, but it’ll have to do.

“Come in!” Laura calls when there’s a knock on the door a few minutes later. It opens and Perry and Lafontaine saunter in much too energetically. Two detectives follow, a shorter woman with curly dark hair and a blonde woman who is probably taller than Danny. They peer around the room like vultures just waiting for a tasty snack. Laura cringes. Gross.

“Laura Hollis, I presume?” the short one addresses her. Laura nods. The taller one seems to know which side of the room is Carmilla’s and begins to go through her things.

“You’re here about what happened at the dean’s last night, aren’t you?” she asks.  She only fumbles a few of the words and feels a bit of the anxiety crawling up her spine subside. The detective looks impressed.

“News must travel fast,” she remarks. Laura shrugs half-heartedly.

“It is a college campus.” The detective nods and pulls out a small notepad and a red pen.  

“Have you seen your room mate in the last twenty-four hours?”

“Uh, yeah, just yesterday when she got back from class. She left pretty fast, though,” Laura says.

“Was she acting oddly? Any signs of distress?” the tall one cuts in. Laura shakes her head.

“Just her usual sarcastic self,” she jokes lamely. The short one raises an eyebrow at her.

“Doesn’t sound like you two were friends.”

“Oooooh no,” Lafontaine cuts in.

“They hated each other,” Perry confirms. Laura shoots them a look and they clam up again.

“We were just really different people who expected very different things from dorm life,” she explains. A lump forms in her throat and she blinks to keep the tears from forming, ducking her head and staring at the floor. The detective nods slowly.

“Are you alright?” the detective asks.

“Yeah, yeah. I just… had a long night,” Laura says, clearing her throat.

“Where were you?”

“Um, I was out, with uh..”

“She was with me!” Danny says from the doorway.

“Really? Another ginger?” the tall one says. Danny looks perturbed at the idea of being confronted by someone taller than her but steps inside anyway.

“Laura and I were out on a date last night. I uh, broke up with her actually,” Danny explains. Laura sighs in relief and mouths thank-you over the detectives shoulder.

“Ms.Hollis?” the detective drawls.

“We were out until midnight,” Laura agrees, “Maybe later? I don’t know, I kinda lost track.”

“Well in that case, what happened to your face? It looks like someone hit you,” the tall one chimes in, one of Carmilla’s old textbooks open in her hands. Laura feels too hot and too cold all at once. She wants to rip the book out of the lady’s hands and return it to it’s rightful spot. How dare she touch Carmilla’s private things.

“I tripped on my way back from the Summer Society house. I think I landed on a bush or something. I can’t really remember,” she says through a clenched jaw.

“And did you notice if your roommates things were gone when you arrived back? She obviously cleared out,” the tall one says.

“I honestly don’t know. I didn’t bother turning the lights on or anything. She usually stays out later than I do, so I’m used to her barging in when I’m sleeping. She could have come by any time.” The detective nods and motions to her partner.

“Well if you think of anything, please give us a call,” she says, handing Laura their business card. Laura takes it and fits it between her fingers. They believed her.

“Right. Thank you,” she mumbles. The detectives nod farewell and walk back out the door, leaving the four students alone at last.

“So that was interesting,” Lafontaine says.

“We all panicked!” Danny exclaims, “Ten bucks says they’ll be back to arrest us within the hour!”

“Oh calm down!” Perry snaps, “Laura hasn’t moved in nearly thirty seconds. Should we do something?!”

“Laur? You okay?” Lafontaine asks. Laura nods absentmindedly.

“I just think I want to be alone for a little bit,” she says. What if she hadn’t let Carmilla leave last night? What if she’d gotten Carmilla off that train? What if Carmilla had been in the room when the police came?

“Sure.” Lafontaine says.

“Call if you need anything,” Perry chimes in.

“Any time, yeah?” Danny prompts her. Laura bites her lip and throws the card into the trash beside her desk.

“Yeah.”

She doesn’t leave the dorm room for almost a week before Danny comes by and forces her to go on a walk. Classes were cancelled to allow for mourning and the investigation, neither of which really happened. Carmilla is long gone and the evidence against the Dean’s cronies is so overwhelming it doesn’t even seem logical to hold a trial. Go figure.

The bruises are fading but the nightmares are not, Laura tells Danny as they wander through the quad. The police tape is being torn down, the detectives are going back from whence they came. Eventually the demons in Laura’s head will be the only indication that anything ever happened at all. Danny promises that it will get better, that the wounds will heal over and the scars will not be as ugly as she thinks they will.

She’s right, of course, even if it takes a year and a half before Laura walks alone at night. The nightmares taper down to a once or twice a month occurrence and she discovers the best ways to calm herself down; yoga, stargazing, and music. She keeps expecting to get a new roommate but no one moves in, and the next year she gets a two bedroom apartment with Lafontaine and Perry which is nice because when she wakes up screaming Perry always has coco on hand. Laf’s experiments get a little tricky sometimes, but so do Laura’s journalism and english projects.

Danny spends a lot of time on their couch that year and Betty accompanies them more often than not. She’s so serious and focused that it’s easy to assimilate her into the group. The sometimes not so private glances, the whispered conversations and reminiscing nights, all of it goes right over her head 95% of the time and when it doesn’t Danny just shakes her head and mutters “Carmilla” under her breath and Betty stops asking. Before long it feels like it’s always been this way, just the five of them hanging out the night before midterms cracking jokes about capstones and drinking cheap wine.

Laura still has all of Carmilla’s things in storage, collected from their old room alongside her own. It’s not exactly a grand gesture, but Laura thinks Carmilla would be pissed if she knew her rare edition of Frankenstein was thrown out. She doesn’t think of Carmilla that much, but she also never shakes that feeling either, that Carmilla is with her no matter where she goes. Sometimes it makes her want to cry, but most of the time it makes her stronger, calms her. She wonders sometimes if Carmilla feels the same way, but figures it doesn’t matter.

She’ll never know anyway.

Laf, Perry, and Danny all graduate at the same time and Laura is left to finish her last two years of school alone. She can’t afford the apartment so she moves back into the dorms as the floor don. This time they really are her freshmen, and this time not a single one befalls a fate worse than finals. It’s a little lonely, sure, but before long she’s met a few new people and strengthened casual relationships within her department. She even dates a few times, though it never really turns out well. No one can quite keep up with her, and she’s never really sure she wants them to.

When she finally graduates she moves back to Canada and gets a job at a bar next to Laf and Perry’s. She sleeps on their couch until the apartment across the hall opens up, a one bedroom with a little extra space for an office, and she moves in exactly one week after her twenty-third birthday. It’s nice and easy and things are going well for her. Her articles are getting more views online and the tips at the bar are nice. A good life. A balanced life.

Still, the nightmares and the deep sadness take over sometimes. She finds herself sitting on the balcony above the alley more than once, hot mug of something or other in her hands as she lets the feelings wash over her. There’s no reason to lock them up. They’ll just bother her more that way. She thinks about seeing a therapist but can’t figure out what she’d say. Can you admit to witnessing a murder in therapy? Will they arrest her for that??? Will it matter to them that she still kind of misses the girl who did it, who saved her life, even if it doesn’t occur to her every day?

Better not.

The anniversary is always the hardest. Sometimes it starts a week before, sometimes sooner. She can feel the day creeping up on her like an extra shadow. When it finally arrives she cries in the shower in the morning and then walks to work like nothing happened. That night she’ll watch bad old movies and eat fattening foods until she falls asleep on the couch, lulled to sleep by the late night infomercials. Every year she allows herself one general google search for the name “Carmilla Karnstein” and every year she doesn’t know how to feel when nothing comes up.

It’s two days before the seventh anniversary that she finds herself serving her friends drinks in the front window and laughing half-heartedly at their jokes. Danny and Betty have just moved into town, hell-bent on raising a kid surrounded by their “found family” as Betty likes to call it. Laura loves them, she really does, but the gooey faces and the baby name jokes are getting to her.

“Hey, Laur, you okay?” Laf asks when she slides into the booth next to them. No one else is in the bar, given it’s a quiet Tuesday night in the middle of November. She’s earned a little sit down time, especially with the week she’s having.

“Yeah, just, y’know. The usual stuff,” she replies. The table gets a little quieter, a little serious.

“It’s almost that time of year, isn’t it?” Perry comments softly. Laura nods and sips at her drink. Danny and Betty share a look.

“Do you want to come over for dinner or something?” Danny asks.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ve sort of got a little routine down, actually. It’s really not as bad as it seems, what with all this awkward silence,” she jokes. Laf cracks a smile and pats her on the back.

“You’re the strongest person I know, Hollis. We should probably head out, shouldn’t you have started closing up five minutes ago?”

“Oh shit, yeah, sorry guys it looks like you’ve gotta go,” Laura says.

“Fiiiine, if you insist,” Danny teases, “But seriously, drop by any time okay? You’ve got our address.” Laura nods and hugs them all goodbye. The second they’re outside they start laughing and talking again, the spring in their step returned. Laura smiles softly and goes to lock the door.

Wait. Damn! She hadn’t taken the garbage out yet and the door in the back was still permanently locked after some kids tried to break in last week. Well, fine, she’ll lock up last. It’s not like anything is going to happen while she’s there, right?

Laura wanders over to the counter and starts wiping everything down and throwing the last of the nights debris in the trash. The bell on the door rings behind her.

“Sorry, we’re closed!” she calls over her shoulder.

“Damn. I was hoping I could have a drink with this really pretty girl I know.”

Laura jumps up so fast she nearly topples over. Carmilla smiles at her from where she’s leaning on the bar. She looks good, older of course, a little softer around the edges and radiant in a way Laura hadn’t even realized she was missing.

“On a scale of one to ten how likely is it that this is a dream?” Laura asks.

“Fuck, I hope it isn’t. I don’t want to wake up and realize I dreamed a fourteen hour flight. The food was awful,” Carmilla complains. Laura lets out a watery laugh and leaps forward to drag Carmilla across the bar for a kiss. Familiar hands cup her face and trace her ear as their lips glide together . Eventually they pull apart and stare at each other. Laura shakes her head, a stupid little smile on her face as she runs around the counter and throws her arms around Carmilla’s torso. Carmilla pulls her closer, burying her face in Laura’s hair and breathing her in.

“I missed you so much,” Laura whispers.

“Mmm, that makes two of us,” Carmilla replies. Laura pulls back and levels her with a more serious expression.

"What are you doing here? What if they're still watching me? You could be arrested!" she exclaims.

"Laura! We're not even in the right country, and even if we were, I figured it all out. That's why I'm here. I got my life together, just like you told me to, and I realized something was missing..." Carmilla explains. Her hands are running up and down Laura's arms nervously and Laura can't stop staring because, holy shit, Carmilla really had done all of this just for a second chance, hadn't she? 

And wow, a second chance is the only thing Laura has ever wanted.

“So I know back in the day we never really got to actually be together, and maybe this is a stupid question and you’re going to laugh at me or something but… can we start over?” Laura asks. Carmilla laughs.

“You mean like, go on a first date, annoy each other with silly cliches, fall in love, that whole schtick?”

“Oh shush, it is a perfectly valid suggestion! I want to go on our first date and I mean you already annoy me so we’ve got that covered. And I don’t know… it’s been a while. Maybe I need to fall in love with you again,” Laura says uncertainly. Carmilla smirks and smooths out the collar of Laura’s shirt.

“Seven years is a very long time. I think it’s a great idea,” Carmilla agrees. Laura squeals and pulls her down for another kiss. It’s messy and awkward and neither of them can stop giggling long enough to actually concentrate but it’s theirs and apparently that’s all that matters.

When they’ve calmed down enough for their thought processes to return, Laura whips them up something exotic and they curl up in the booth behind the fireplace. They talk for hours and hours about the things they’ve done in the last seven years. Carmilla moved around for a few years, managed to get her transcripts and finished school in Germany. She had in fact lived in an attic apartment, but she’d adopted a cat and worked in the back office of a marketing firm. From there she’d gotten a few teaching jobs, but her French was always shit and besides, Laura was out there somewhere.

“So you just looked me up?” Laura gasps.

“You’re online every thirty seconds, don’t act like it’s some great accomplishment,” Carmilla snorts. Laura smacks her arm and snuggles further into her side, enjoying the way Carmilla’s fingers card through her hair.

“What about, y’know, the other stuff?” Laura asks.

“I’m working on it… What about you?” Carmilla replies.

“Actually, that sounds about right,” Laura agrees. Carmilla presses a kiss to her forehead and wraps both arms around her.

“Good,” she murmurs. Laura leans up and kisses along her jaw.

“Good,” she whispers back. Carmilla rolls her eyes.

“You’re still a little shit, huh?”

“Oh like you’re one to talk!”

And really, what was anybody expecting?


End file.
